My heart is shattering into a million pieces. Ginger Roger Laughery my beautiful 19 yo jet black, green eyed love is just too sick. I can't help her anymore, I can't ease her pain and I can't hold on to her anymore. I have to say good by. I can barley breath, I don't know how to do this. Say good by. We have been through much these last 19 years. Her dependence on me got me through some of the bleakest blackest times of my life. She was given to me as a replacement for the children I was not able to have and made that part of my life very full. I will NOT let her suffer but I don't know that I can handle this. We have a 9 am apt this morning. She "we thought had an eye infection in march" and has been on and off antibiotics since then. due to her age she can't be sedated so the Vet and I have been blindly treating this as an infection even though we feared something worse but didn't have proof. Her labs are alwYs perfect and at her age thats huge. But sat am I noticed her eye started to buldge. Which after much discussion(previously) with the vet we know it could be cancer. So I made an appointment but her vet went on maternity leave yesterday (of course) so it's up to a new vet to decide. I won't let her suffer, but how do I stop trying to treat her and face the facts. I want her to live so bad. I just keep thinking if we can fix her eye she would be fine. She is healthy other wise. How do I do this? How do I justify not trying everything in my power to help her. How do I know she isn't supposed to live 25 years( I KNOW but some do) I'm grasping at any hope right now. Do I tell the new vet to sedate her anyways and go in and take our chances? Do I let go? How? To real parents out there....Don't you take any and every chance to save your babies?
Oh please pray for my baby....
Oh please pray for my baby....