how do we deal

[Alatariel]

it is amazing with how much pain the human heart can put up with. it is amazing that even with that pain we still keep going. we may look like we cant deal with alot, but when it comes to emotions we can put up with just about anything

shock, pain, numb. 3 things we do when grieving. no matter what, we all have our own way of coping. wether it be crying, writing, remembering, talking. all bring back fond memories and emotions. death is one of the hardest things to go through. no matter how much you love someone, eventually you have to let go. they will always be in your heart and mind. there will always be something that will remind you of them, a smell, noise, picture or a place.

just remember you are not alone, there is always people around even strangers who can give you comfort, support and hope.

smiling is the first step to healing, laughing is the second. but you will always have a tender spot.
it is an important step to open up and let your walls fall down. it is ok to cry. no one can tell you different.


R.I.P George Carrington. loved father, grandfather and great grandfather.
you will always be remembered and always have a place in my heart.
i love you and miss you papa

 

[Mary Kay]

We heal a day at a time. I still grieve for my sister, gone 25 years. Some days I canremeber her laugh, others I can't think of her without tears. I couldn't funtion at all for a year. But now I do better and can have her picures around the house.
You are right in what you stated "smiling is the first step to healing, laughing is the second. but you will always have a tender spot.
it is an important step to open up and let your walls fall down. it is ok to cry. no one can tell you different."

I am very sorry for your loss. I can see how loved he was. God Bless.

 

[Alatariel]

thanks mary. im sorry to hear about your sister.

i tell you what it wasnt what i wanted to hear 30mins after waking up...
mum and i were talking last night about him and she said he was fine. then she went to pick him up for a doctors appointment and she found him in bed. it was the way he wanted to pass. he didnt want to be in a hospital bed or retirement home. i just wish it didnt have to be now. we all thought he had a couple more years

 

[CES]

(((Alatariel)))

I'm sorry for your loss. Words are so inadequate- but may you grieve and heal in what ever ways you need to. Sending warmth and light to you and your family.

 

[rainkeltoia]

I'm so sorry for your loss Ala. Words can't really help ease the pain, but we definitely do understand what you're feeling and if you need to vent we'll be here. Its a hard thing to deal with, and it will take time to heal the wounds, but they will heal. Be safe and well my dear.

 

[classwife]

Oh Ala.....(hugs) across the world to you...I am so sorry for your loss....

 

[Safira]

((Ala)) I'm so sorry. I wish I had some magic words that could make it all better, just know we are here for you.

 

[Fudgey]

(((((Alatariel)))))

 

[WomanOfHeart]

{{{{{Alatariel}}}}}

Coping with loss is difficult and it takes time to heal and recover from our losses. I'm sorry to hear about yours, but your post is one of hope and wisdom.

Brightest Blessings to you and yours, even if they aren't with us anymore.

 

[Alatariel]

thanks guys. it was a pretty rough day yesterday. i had to get away from everything. spent time with dad and my hubby.
i got into bed with tears in my eyes and said to my hubby "please tell me that when i wake up this will all have been just a bad dream"
i know todays just going to be one of those days again. i have so much to do and no energy to do it
im hearing from mum on sunday about the funeral. its really hard because my twin is in canada and im in tas and we just dont have the cash to spend on tickets for his funeral. so we've been told my mum that papa would be rather ...... if we spent money on tickets when it can be spent on bills and food and other important things. when my twin gets back from canada we are all going to go to the lawrence river and put his ash's with my grandmothers.

thanks for all the support guys, i still feel like im in a dream..... i know things will get better, but its just so hard to see.

 

[Mary Kay]

You are going about things in the right way..a while to mourn, a while to heal and a lifetime of loving memories. Just try to breathe, relax if you can and gather yourself.

 

[Seabrook]

Hugz with my condolences, Alatariel. Hoping your pain of loss will blossom into fond, happy and peaceful memories of your father. Peace be with you, dearheart.

 

[selenamstar]

Alatariel condolences. {{{{BIG HUG}}}}
The love of my life lost his dad today and is driving straight for 17 hrs to get home to the family in SC. I feel awful and stuck as to what to do sitting here in Iowa as he has to face this w/o me ATM. I hate that I am in school and am dealing with a short semester we know I can't go or face failing classes even if I miss a week, but this just sucks. I should be there.

 

[Alatariel]

thanks sea but it was my grandfather not my father

im sorry to hear about your loss selena *hugs* we'll get through it. we all go on with find memories and laughs. just remember all the fun things and happy moments

 

[WomanOfHeart]

The fun and happy times are how I choose to remember my grandfather (and a few other people.)

I used to sit in his lap and we'd speak in German while he puffed on his pipe or rolled his cigarettes. He'd give all of us kids a couple of dollars and say "Gehe vernaschen." Spend it on sweets.

 

[classwife]

I just love that !!!!!

 

[Mary Kay]

Atal, How are you doing? Still thinking of you.

 

[lilfarmtruck]

I know I dont know you, but I think that those who experience greif are in the same boat...kindred souls if but for a time...my father passed at 58..of completely preventable causes...That was 8 years ago..and I still miss him like it was yesterday. Greif is NEVER easy..

BUT...(and please keep this in the forefront of your mind..) In order to GET through it...we MUST GO through it.....and thats just how it is...

At some point in the future...if you have taken care of yourself....you WILL find yourself on the other side...at that time you will be able to feel your greif but not be overwhelmed by it...that does not mean you love your loved one any less....it just means you are healing from your loss...

These things ARE true...I know though it doesnt seem like it when pain is acute....but it is real, and hope is there...but you have to go through it to get through it....I know this will make sense one day soon. Hang in there....if not for you....for all of us here supporting you...

A perfect stranger, but one who feels your pain,
Liz

 

[Alatariel]

mary: yeah im getting there, over the numbness and i still cry everynow and then. but thats what happens.
heart: my grandfather was prussian, he taught us so many things. i us to sit on the floor and listen to all his ww2 stories.

liz: you are right it is overwhelming and hard. it does happen to everyone but at different times. i will pull through, i have been through this before, this will be the 6th . it never gets easy and you never are prepared for it. but life goes on

 

[rainkeltoia]

*BIG HUGS*
Your grandfather sounds like he was a pretty awesome man. I'm sorry for your loss, but I'm happy for you that you have fond memories of him, and that you can cherish them always.