I have been quiet as I'm sure you've noticed. 
I've been hit with a major dart from the pits of hell.
Some weeks back, my husband and I got into an argument. I will say up front that I was mouthy. He got so enraged that he was going to throw me out of the house. Because of fibro and arthritis, when he grabbed my arm and pushed me in the middle of my back, I screamed out in pain. Maybe someone who doesn't have my medical problems wouldn't have reacted like I did. (But I'd always told him that if he laid a hand on me that I would call the police.) He thought I was being a drama queen, but when I wiggled free, I bounced off the wall in our hallway. I needed to get into the bedroom so I could get the rest of my night meds, and he blocked the door. I thought if I got on my hands and knees, I could go through his legs. He is much bigger than me. That didn't work, so I told him I that I'd change that and call the cops. So, I did. I didn't press charges as this was the first time in our 28 years that this has happened. He still feels he did nothing wrong. But, the police even asked him if he wanted to press charges. He declined. I haven't figured that part out yet. I did tell him that if he ever laid a hand on me again that I would press charges. Needless to say, his mother is mortified.
The next day, he asked me for a divorce. I said no as he has no grounds. He then said I would cave. I went to see an attorney to see what my rights are. He told me that he couldn't imagine me wanting to stay in this marriage as things have gone so downhill for awhile. Now that part is true. But I told him that I made a commitment to Almighty God, bless His Holy Name, and that I intended to honor it. He couldn't understand that.
So, we've been living like brother and sister ever since. He had told me NOT to contact his mother as it wouldn't be pretty. So I decided to stay home on Thanksgiving and it was such a peaceful time for me. There has been no affection from him in years. It has been difficult, but yet I kept praying. He told me that he would no longer feed me. So, I've had to fend for myself and I will say that I have been eating better. I only have a disability check once a month. When it's gone, it's gone.
Things are peaceful and we've even had some laughs, but he still wants a divorce. I think he is waiting for me to do something and I'm not. He even told me he feels I have my eye on someone. It's true...His Name is Jesus! If he wanted to hire a detective, they'd fall asleep from boredom. I go to the doctor, grocery, dentist, vapor shop, my sister's and home again. It's been difficult on my body to go to the grocery store, bring in groceries, and put them away. I have X amount of energy at the beginning of the day....some days more.....some days much less, and when it's all gone, it's gone. I drop in the bed and it'll take a few days to get back to normal for me.
So, the bottom line is.........it's all up in the air. I felt I owed everyone an explanation of why I haven't been online. It wasn't that I didn't care, I have just been too embarrassed to face everyone. My emotions are running all over the place and it's been a challenge to keep myself in check. It has been and is still a major job. My fight is depleted. I may keep checking on the board and contributing, or may not. I am sorry if I have disappointed anyone. It's just been so hard.
I've been hit with a major dart from the pits of hell.Some weeks back, my husband and I got into an argument. I will say up front that I was mouthy. He got so enraged that he was going to throw me out of the house. Because of fibro and arthritis, when he grabbed my arm and pushed me in the middle of my back, I screamed out in pain. Maybe someone who doesn't have my medical problems wouldn't have reacted like I did. (But I'd always told him that if he laid a hand on me that I would call the police.) He thought I was being a drama queen, but when I wiggled free, I bounced off the wall in our hallway. I needed to get into the bedroom so I could get the rest of my night meds, and he blocked the door. I thought if I got on my hands and knees, I could go through his legs. He is much bigger than me. That didn't work, so I told him I that I'd change that and call the cops. So, I did. I didn't press charges as this was the first time in our 28 years that this has happened. He still feels he did nothing wrong. But, the police even asked him if he wanted to press charges. He declined. I haven't figured that part out yet. I did tell him that if he ever laid a hand on me again that I would press charges. Needless to say, his mother is mortified.
The next day, he asked me for a divorce. I said no as he has no grounds. He then said I would cave. I went to see an attorney to see what my rights are. He told me that he couldn't imagine me wanting to stay in this marriage as things have gone so downhill for awhile. Now that part is true. But I told him that I made a commitment to Almighty God, bless His Holy Name, and that I intended to honor it. He couldn't understand that.
So, we've been living like brother and sister ever since. He had told me NOT to contact his mother as it wouldn't be pretty. So I decided to stay home on Thanksgiving and it was such a peaceful time for me. There has been no affection from him in years. It has been difficult, but yet I kept praying. He told me that he would no longer feed me. So, I've had to fend for myself and I will say that I have been eating better. I only have a disability check once a month. When it's gone, it's gone.
Things are peaceful and we've even had some laughs, but he still wants a divorce. I think he is waiting for me to do something and I'm not. He even told me he feels I have my eye on someone. It's true...His Name is Jesus! If he wanted to hire a detective, they'd fall asleep from boredom. I go to the doctor, grocery, dentist, vapor shop, my sister's and home again. It's been difficult on my body to go to the grocery store, bring in groceries, and put them away. I have X amount of energy at the beginning of the day....some days more.....some days much less, and when it's all gone, it's gone. I drop in the bed and it'll take a few days to get back to normal for me.
So, the bottom line is.........it's all up in the air. I felt I owed everyone an explanation of why I haven't been online. It wasn't that I didn't care, I have just been too embarrassed to face everyone. My emotions are running all over the place and it's been a challenge to keep myself in check. It has been and is still a major job. My fight is depleted. I may keep checking on the board and contributing, or may not. I am sorry if I have disappointed anyone. It's just been so hard.
