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Is there someone in your life who has been affected by breast cancer?

Discussion in 'Cancer Survivors and Loved Ones' started by jj2, Aug 11, 2010.

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  1. HeatherC

    HeatherC Ultra Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 30, 2010
    New York
    I can relate LOL
     
  2. resist

    resist Senior Member ECF Veteran

    Jan 13, 2010
    north carolina
    My wife was diagnosed with invasive ductile last month. Stage one. We have met with the oncologist, had numerous test, spoken to and picked the surgeon, and meet with the plastic surgeon tomorrow. She has opted for a bilateral mastectomy with implant reconstruction. I want this thing out of her. She is only 36. Thank God her new doc wanted a base line mammogram.
     
  3. trukinlady

    trukinlady Resting In Peace ECF Veteran

    Feb 24, 2010
    Missouri, USA
    I will keep you both in my prayers!!

    Yes, thank God for her Doctor!! Your wife and I have much in common. I was 35 when I was diagnosed with the same type, as well as adenocarcinoma in the same area. Mine was Stage 2 when they found it. I was blessed to have great doctors as well. I had considered a bilateral mastectomy, but decided against it at the time. But I did have implant reconstruction. It's been 11 years since my surgery, and the implant is still fine. And no reoccurrance of the cancer, thank God!

    My husband took my diagnosis hard. He was very angry, and frustrated. He told me later how helpless he felt by not being able to do anything about the whole situation. But he was always there to support me, in whatever way I needed.

    Many women feel as if their femininity has been taken away. I didn't want my husband to see me after the surgery, because I felt ugly, and disfigured. But he told me it didn't matter. He loved me.
    His reassurance meant so much to me!

    Thank you so much for sharing this! Sometimes we forget how cancer affects the ones who love us the most. It's traumatic for them as well.

    Again, you both are in my prayers! Please let us know how things are. We're here anytime. And if your wife would like to post here, she is most welcome to!

    Take care, and God Bless!
     
  4. resist

    resist Senior Member ECF Veteran

    Jan 13, 2010
    north carolina
    thank you for the prayers. Yea, it is kind of a helpless feeling. I have, however been able to focus that energy on making things better for her after the surgery. Our bedroom is upstairs and I want to have her close during the recovery, so I emptied out our exercise room down stairs and purchased a new bed and lounger for it. I ran the satellite to a tv back their also. I am de-stressing the house as much as I can. I have hauled off 5 truck loads of junk and clutter to the trash and goodwill. I give her plenty of time at night to talk abut what is going on. I try to get her to laugh some. All in all she has had a positive attitude. She has always been my #1 priority, but now their is no 2nd.
     
  5. HeatherC

    HeatherC Ultra Member ECF Veteran

    Jun 30, 2010
    New York
    Sounds like you are a great husband!!! Base-Line Mammos especially for riskier patients are very important....as are self exams. And my prayers are also with you.
     
  6. trukinlady

    trukinlady Resting In Peace ECF Veteran

    Feb 24, 2010
    Missouri, USA
    What a wonderful husband you are!! :thumbs: I have no doubt that she appreciates everything you're doing!

    I think it's great you are helping her to laugh! IMHO, laughter goes a long way during recovery, and it is the best medicine. I'm glad she has that positive attitude, too. It really does make a difference!

    But don't forget to take care of yourself, too. Many people don't realize how difficult it is to be the primary caregiver. It's important to take time for yourself once in a while.

    Take care, and God Bless!

    P.S. I like your avatar. What does it signify?
     
  7. resist

    resist Senior Member ECF Veteran

    Jan 13, 2010
    north carolina
    thank you for the encouragement. My avatar is the Yamaha symbol. I ride a motorcycle and although I own a Honda, I want a Yamaha!
     
  8. trukinlady

    trukinlady Resting In Peace ECF Veteran

    Feb 24, 2010
    Missouri, USA
    I used to ride motorcycles back in the day, and I also rode dirt bikes a few times. I would love to own a street bike, tho! Something not too big. My hubby suggessted a scooter, but I nixed that idea. I laughingly told him I could walk faster than the scooter! :laugh:
     
  9. Desert Rat

    Desert Rat Senior Member Verified Member ECF Veteran

    Dec 30, 2010
    Daggett Ca.
    I lost my wife of 27 years to breast cancer metastasized to her liver and bone. Very small lump not even noticeable and she didn't even feel bad. Was diagnosed March 12 2009 stage 4, went home April 27 2009 her birthday. She smoked 2+ packs a day and her lungs were clear (go figure).

    Resist Tell her how much you love her everyday, be positive, and don't stress. You can't fix this someone else will have to. Your job is to support her. when I learned this it changed the atmosphere in my house. True peace is not the absence of conflict it is the calm in the middle of the storm. This is not easy, but believe me it is doable. think of it this way whether you are angry, stressed, frustrated, depressed or in peace you still have to go through the process it is your CHOICE you chose PEACE. The only way I know to stay in peace is to PRAY in your house in your wife and in yourself. I will pray also
     
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