It just sucks cuz I hate snus lol I don't even vape for the nicotine, I vape because when I get my hands on a device that somehow, in some magical way, it tastes clean and pure, I consider it one of the few magical things we have in this world... well, at least in my world.
The truth is, even beyond my twitch (yes, I dropped my hexagon wench tool about 10 times before I ever got it in the screws of one of the RDA's lol), I have certain physical disabillities and characteristics that really alienate me from the social world at large. To me, the most magical thing in the world is traveling - I love going to mueseums, historical sites, old train stations, anything that evokes that true feeling that there's a lot of wonder in the world. Yet, my biggest dream has always been to have a partner to travel with, and to be able to travel without a lot of medical hassles that tend to keep me inside my home.
vaping, when I'm tasting those pure flavors, like I did in the Cisco, it's like the one magical thing I can do inside my home. All sorts of juices, no matter what kind they are, if I taste em on a clean device, each of them triggers some memory so vividly that it's like I'm on a vacation. The worst of tobacco juices make me remember sucking on my grandma's elbow skin. It's that bizarre. And it's simply wonderful. Nicotine can be a plus, and the act of smoking something helps me quit cigarettes itself, but the big picture even beyond quitting cigarettes is that vaping would be something I'd want to do for the rest of my life - it really is one of the most important hobbies to me right now.
Even concerning all my artsy fartsy hobbies, like writing and painting, I do those things better when I vape. When I vape, I'm happier, I feel at peace, I feel all intelligent and sophisticated, from all corners, when it works, it's a joy. It is indeed a hobby that so far has tended to destroy me financially and mentally, but it's a hobby from the very first time I took a puff on a disposable so many years ago, something just clicked in my brain and I knew it was for me. I really don't want to give up on it. I've given up a lot of things in life because of curses that are no less extreme than this vaping curse, but vaping is like, the last of the last. If I can't vape, the last part of any real spark in my soul would die. I'm not in a terribly great place in life and all I ever wanted to do was sit down with a nice little vape and watch a movie.
Honestly, vaping just is supposed to taste clean, it's supposed to taste full, it's supposed to taste clear. I've gotten the results before, I know the rainbow I'm chasing. I believe someone out there is getting a vape that they can describe in the same way. And ya know, I figure it'll take me a couple days if not a week to get an RDA set up perfectly, trying out experiments for the heck of it, trying out traditional steps, mixing and matching and seeing with my own eyes if I have anything to bring to the table or if I'll have to follow the steps a lot more precisely. I really do want to do this, and I really hope it works.
It'll just take some time. It'll take some mistakes and it'll take some discovery.
GN, I am impressed and thankful that you explained a bit about yourself and your situation. It really gives all of us some more insight into your experience and what you are going through. Thanks for posting this
I have faith you will find this peace of mind, and just try and enjoy this whole process... you're on the right road