Lounge Lizards / Misfits / Free Thinkers / Bohemians & the Forgotten :: Young at Heart Only

[MikeE3]

It's rare that I talk about this, yet, today, would have been my one and only child's, my son's, 40th birthday .. and I feel compelled to say something ..

He was always a happy guy, smiling and taking life as it came, even as a toddler and as he grew up .. there were many times I would look at him and think to myself, "I wish I was more like him .." I think it's odd a Parent wishes that, but, as a Human, he was always better than me .. he loved motorcycles, listened to a lot of R.E.M, Dave Matthews, Green Day and was a pretty good drummer, but the thing people would always remember was how he kept a good attitude on Life no matter the circumstances .. he had a good set of Values and you could count on him .. as he grew to be a Man, he was the kind of guy that you'd want for your Friend .. fun to be around, and loyal .. he could bring you up when you were down ..

I miss him each and every day .. and I regret so, so much, that my work during much of his growing up years kept me away from home .. later in his Life, I had hoped that, at some point, he would be willing to Apprentice with me and carry on my work ..

Like most all Fathers and Sons, we did not always see eye to eye, but that's the way it is with Family .. I would have let the Reaper take me in his stead, if I could have ..

Cherish what you have, and try and mend any Fences that get torn down ..

Cheers, Josh .. wherever you are .. if there is a Heaven, you brought it a little more sparkle and Joy ..

This was taken when he was around 25, he was the Best Man at his Best Friends wedding and she was his date .. they were slated to marry ..

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[[Man Hug Willie]] You created this thread in the hopes of forming a virtual family ... it worked ... and it fines you shared 'today' with us. One of the things I learned on my journey of a similar path is what a crock the phase ... "It'll be Ok, in time you'll get over it". It doesn't work that what, it's not a cut or broken bone that will heal and be good as new. The pain and grief of losing a child (any loved ones actually) never goes away, you don't get over it. The best we can do is learn to cope and accept it and continue on with or lives.

We lose a parent, we grieve and mourn and move on. That's part of the natural cycle of life, old folks die. But they've lived their life, and spawned 'us' to carry on. Losing a child before they've had the opportunity to grow, develop, live their life is a whole different spectrum of losing a loved one. We never expect our child to die before we do. Being somewhat religious I wonder, does God really need them more than we do, why take them so young.

I met a middle aged lady in the early days of my journey. She lost her husband years ago. She kept a memory box with sentimental items of her husband. Once a year on his death anniversary she took it out and allowed her grief to go in whatever direction it chose ... heartwarming memories or all out anger and grief for the loss. Then she put it away and went on with her life. Not that she didn't think of him daily, but on that one day she let her emotions take the lead. We all deal with 'it' in our own way and there is no one right way ... what gets us through is the right way.

Two phrases seem to always come to my mind for life events like this ...

Remember the love, celebrate the life, share the journey.

and

Wyrd bið ful āræd. (Fate is inexorable)​

 

[Uncle Willie]

Beautiful young man Willie. I am sure you did your best with what your life was at the time. Cherish his memory, he will always be with you.

"Faded photographs, covered now with lines and creases
Tickets torn in half, memories in bits and pieces .. "

 

[FranC]

(((((Wiliie))))

 

[oldbroad]

I know it's an indulgence I should avoid, but it's not like I eat one every day .. as I passed the McD's on the way to the workshop this AM, a Sausage / Egg / Cheese McMuffin started calling out to me .. I like the Bacon Version, too, just not quite as much ..

Nice, slow and a bit cold Rain today, low 70's .. excellent and much needed ..

Oh my!! Yummy yummy for the tummy! I haven't had one of those in ages! My GD has a food trip in her very near future

 

[Bea-FL]

"It'll be Ok, in time you'll get over it". It doesn't work that what, it's not a cut or broken bone that will heal and be good as new. The pain and grief of losing a child (any loved ones actually) never goes away, you don't get over it. The best we can do is learn to cope and accept it and continue on with or lives"

@MikeE3 these lines from your post sum up my feelings exactly…and I'm sure other parents' too. Thank you for putting them into words so well.

It's rare that I talk about this, yet, today, would have been my one and only child's, my son's, 40th birthday .. and I feel compelled to say something ..

He was always a happy guy, smiling and taking life as it came, even as a toddler and as he grew up .. there were many times I would look at him and think to myself, "I wish I was more like him .." I think it's odd a Parent wishes that, but, as a Human, he was always better than me .. he loved motorcycles, listened to a lot of R.E.M, Dave Matthews, Green Day and was a pretty good drummer, but the thing people would always remember was how he kept a good attitude on Life no matter the circumstances .. he had a good set of Values and you could count on him .. as he grew to be a Man, he was the kind of guy that you'd want for your Friend .. fun to be around, and loyal .. he could bring you up when you were down ..

I miss him each and every day .. and I regret so, so much, that my work during much of his growing up years kept me away from home .. later in his Life, I had hoped that, at some point, he would be willing to Apprentice with me and carry on my work ..

Like most all Fathers and Sons, we did not always see eye to eye, but that's the way it is with Family .. I would have let the Reaper take me in his stead, if I could have ..

Cherish what you have, and try and mend any Fences that get torn down ..

Cheers, Josh .. wherever you are .. if there is a Heaven, you brought it a little more sparkle and Joy ..

This was taken when he was around 25, he was the Best Man at his Best Friends wedding and she was his date .. they were slated to marry ..

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unfortunately, as you know, I can say I know how you feel. It sucks!

Do you mind my asking how many years ago did he die?

 

[Bea-FL]

Exactly ... me this morning ... I forgot to fix my coffee pot last night before going to bed.

I can do you one better…stumble out of bed…flip the switch on the tea maker, feed the cats, get a vaper out, fill the vaper, come back for a nice, fresh, hot cup of morning tea…only to find out I forgot to fill the water bin

 

[oldbroad]

Oh my Willie...thank you for sharing about your beloved child...I know it was difficult....he looked so much like you!

As most of you know, I lost my oldest daughter some years ago also....the pain melts into a corner of my heart..tho it never will go away , that's impossible for anyone who's lost a child.... the memories are bittersweet....but at least I had her till she was in her forties....

this post is depressing...I apologise...

 

[MikeE3]

I can do you one better…stumble out of bed…flip the switch on the tea maker, feed the cats, get a vaper out, fill the vaper, come back for a nice, fresh, hot cup of morning tea…only to find out I forgot to fill the water bin

OK, if we're place one-ups ... I've done this a couple times. Forget to put the lid on the carafe, turn on the coffee pot, come back when it's finished and no coffee in the pot, but a filter overflowing coffee and grounds all over the counter.

 

[Bea-FL]

So hubs had his ccardiologist appointment today…moved up because he has developed symptoms. The result is that he has has to have a bypass for that 100% blocked artery for which laterals have taken over, and a second stent inserted in another.

The doctor hopes the surgeon will feel hubs is a good candidate for the robotic bypass because it is minimally invasive. If he isn't then it has to be a traditional bypass but he said hubs is a high risk for that one.

So now we go to see the surgeon and find out. Keep your fingers crossed he can have the first one.

 

[MikeE3]

Oh my Willie...thank you for sharing about your beloved child...I know it was difficult....he looked so much like you!

As most of you know, I lost my oldest daughter some years ago also....the pain melts into a corner of my heart..tho it never will go away , that's impossible for anyone who's lost a child.... the memories are bittersweet....but at least I had her till she was in her forties....

this post is depressing...I apologise...

It's just so awful so many of us here share such tragedies ... each is different in our circumstances ... each is the same in the tear in our hearts ... but in some ironic way it bonds us together. Love you all for being here and sharing the worst and the best of our lives.

 

[Bea-FL]

Oh my Willie...thank you for sharing about your beloved child...I know it was difficult....he looked so much like you!

As most of you know, I lost my oldest daughter some years ago also....the pain melts into a corner of my heart..tho it never will go away , that's impossible for anyone who's lost a child.... the memories are bittersweet....but at least I had her till she was in her forties....

this post is depressing...I apologise...

OK, if we're place one-ups ... I've done this a couple times. Forget to put the lid on the carafe, turn on the coffee pot, come back when it's finished and no coffee in the pot, but a filter overflowing coffee and grounds all over the counter.

oh no

 

[Bea-FL]

It's just so awful so many of us here share such tragedies ... each is different in our circumstances ... each is the same in the tear in our hearts ... but in some ironic way it bonds us together. Love you all for being here and sharing the worst and the best of our lives.

I was just thinking the same thing and I can think of at least four of us who lost a child. Not a club of which any of us want to be a part…but since we were not given a choice I'm so glad I found you all. You have been a source of strength, of joy, of inspiration, of laughter, of encouragement to me in the good times and the bad.

Please never leave here. ❤

 

[yiddleboge6]

The pain and grief of losing a child (any loved ones actually) never goes away, you don't get over it. The best we can do is learn to cope and accept it and continue on with or lives.

Do you mind my asking how many years ago did he die?

It really doesn't matter how many years ago it happened...

A few years after my son was gone and I had left the casino and was working at WAWA, one of my former coworkers from the casino came in. She had recently lost her little girl to cancer....was attending groups for grief counseling, and wanted to know..."Does it ever get any better?" Almost word for word what Mike said, I told her "No, there's a hole in my heart that will never heal.... we only learn to cope better with our loss and pain over time, and go on"

It's been 26 years for me, and my tears are flowing as freely right now as they did then....

 

[Bea-FL]

It really doesn't matter how many years ago it happened...

A few years after my son was gone and I had left the casino and was working at WAWA, one of my former coworkers from the casino came in. She had recently lost her little girl to cancer....was attending groups for grief counseling, and wanted to know..."Does it ever get any better?" Almost word for word what Mike said, I told her "No, there's a hole in my heart that will never heal.... we only learn to cope better with our loss over time, and go on"

It's been 26 years for me, and my tears are flowing as freely right now as they did then....

Yiddle, I'm sorry. I wasn't implying that it matters how many years it's been for Willie. I just wondered.

I lost mine 18 years ago and like for you, tears well up freely and often unexpectedly…still.

No, we never get over it, we just learn to live with it.

 

[Janet H]

ah, the inocence prior to the age of sex, drugs and rock&roll.



On a local television dance show in Idaho in February 1958, local teens dance to one of the biggest dance crazes out of the late-1950's called The Stroll, which originated from American Bandstand

Sheesh, and they all looked so serious!

It's rare that I talk about this, yet, today, would have been my one and only child's, my son's, 40th birthday .. and I feel compelled to say something ..

He was always a happy guy, smiling and taking life as it came, even as a toddler and as he grew up .. there were many times I would look at him and think to myself, "I wish I was more like him .." I think it's odd a Parent wishes that, but, as a Human, he was always better than me .. he loved motorcycles, listened to a lot of R.E.M, Dave Matthews, Green Day and was a pretty good drummer, but the thing people would always remember was how he kept a good attitude on Life no matter the circumstances .. he had a good set of Values and you could count on him .. as he grew to be a Man, he was the kind of guy that you'd want for your Friend .. fun to be around, and loyal .. he could bring you up when you were down ..

I miss him each and every day .. and I regret so, so much, that my work during much of his growing up years kept me away from home .. later in his Life, I had hoped that, at some point, he would be willing to Apprentice with me and carry on my work ..

Like most all Fathers and Sons, we did not always see eye to eye, but that's the way it is with Family .. I would have let the Reaper take me in his stead, if I could have ..

Cherish what you have, and try and mend any Fences that get torn down ..

Cheers, Josh .. wherever you are .. if there is a Heaven, you brought it a little more sparkle and Joy ..

This was taken when he was around 25, he was the Best Man at his Best Friends wedding and she was his date .. they were slated to marry ..

View attachment 760817

Whew. It's hard to add to what others have said so well. It just hurts and that will always be a part of us. It does teach us compassion for others, but what a hard lesson. My heart joins all of you who feel the pain and I hope the joyous memories still have a place somewhere in the recesses of your mind and brings you comfort.

So hubs had his ccardiologist appointment today…moved up because he has developed symptoms. The result is that he has has to have a bypass for that 100% blocked artery for which laterals have taken over, and a second stent inserted in another.

The doctor hopes the surgeon will feel hubs is a good candidate for the robotic bypass because it is minimally invasive. If he isn't then it has to be a traditional bypass but he said hubs is a high risk for that one.

So now we go to see the surgeon and find out. Keep your fingers crossed he can have the first one.

My best hope and prayers for the robotic surgery and that all goes well.

 

[MikeE3]

Just to end the evening with a different topic ... a history lesson.

Nylon stockings made their debut in Wilmington, Delaware, on October 24, 1939. That's because Wallace Hume Carothers, the chemist who invented the synthetic material in 1935, worked for the DuPont company, which is headquartered there.

I'm sure you ladies mourn the passing of this fashion statement.

 

[DancingHeretik]

It's rare that I talk about this, yet, today, would have been my one and only child's, my son's, 40th birthday .. and I feel compelled to say something ..

He was always a happy guy, smiling and taking life as it came, even as a toddler and as he grew up .. there were many times I would look at him and think to myself, "I wish I was more like him .." I think it's odd a Parent wishes that, but, as a Human, he was always better than me .. he loved motorcycles, listened to a lot of R.E.M, Dave Matthews, Green Day and was a pretty good drummer, but the thing people would always remember was how he kept a good attitude on Life no matter the circumstances .. he had a good set of Values and you could count on him .. as he grew to be a Man, he was the kind of guy that you'd want for your Friend .. fun to be around, and loyal .. he could bring you up when you were down ..

I miss him each and every day .. and I regret so, so much, that my work during much of his growing up years kept me away from home .. later in his Life, I had hoped that, at some point, he would be willing to Apprentice with me and carry on my work ..

Like most all Fathers and Sons, we did not always see eye to eye, but that's the way it is with Family .. I would have let the Reaper take me in his stead, if I could have ..

Cherish what you have, and try and mend any Fences that get torn down ..

Cheers, Josh .. wherever you are .. if there is a Heaven, you brought it a little more sparkle and Joy ..

This was taken when he was around 25, he was the Best Man at his Best Friends wedding and she was his date .. they were slated to marry ..

View attachment 760817

Thank you for sharing that with us. I'm so sorry for the depth of your loss and sorrow!

 

[FranC]

Good morning to the young at heart

 

[Anise]

Cherish your memories Willie. I know it's not enough but it's better than nothing. I didn't get to hold my son or look at him. I'm envious of you even though you suffered a loss. No one can take your memories away. Please don't think I'm saying my loss is worse. Every child lost is a tragedy. I just wanted to point out you still have part of your son that nothing can take away.

 

[Anise]

Good morning Fran!
Good morning everyone! I hope everyone has a good day today! I get to go have more bloodwork done. One of the tests shows something if my tumor is returning and it was positive so before they do an ultrasound and a gastroscopy they're rechecking the bloodwork. Here's hoping this one is negative.