Check in time. Most importantly every one is fine. But I'm still in a very negative introspective, self-esteem doubting, very shaky, upset and I wish I could be in denial but it was real and I did it so I can't deny it.
I was the cause of and very extreme auto accident last night. I obviously ran a red light (but have no memory of it) and was broad sided by a car coming through the intersect on the green. My doubt, confusion and shock is I have no memory of how it happened. I do not remember approaching the intersection, I do not remember seeing a green light, red light, purple light or any other kind of light. I just remember a big band, shaking my self to consciousness, and wondering that the heck are this big white bags along side my head. My car spun 180 degrees and landed on the other side of the intersect. The other car was in the middle of the intersection totally demolished.
I'd post pictures but you don't have to see the extensive damage to the young man's car ... but believe me it's totaled. Mine is extensive damage but repairable according the the 'techs' I talked with today. Except for the age of the car ... 9 years old ... it's on the border of whether an
insurance company will just automatically totally it or repair it.
Here’s the back story and how powerful (if that’s the right word) memories and music can be. I was listening to my Bob Dylan play list on the way home. (No blame to you UW, but your post planted the seed). The last three songs I remember were Twisted Fate, Mr. Tamborine Man, and Blowing in the Wind (when the big bang occurred.) Blowing in the Wind was strongly effecting my mental state.
My mind was going over all the turmoil, and angst both in our personal life (my group of friends, not just me or Janet) in our late teens and early twenties what with the Vietnam war and national divide over it. My friends getting shipped off to Vietnam and dodging bullets and bungee stakes. And me in college when they were putting their lives on the line, etc. etc. etc. Watching the campus riots on TV with my Mother when shots rang out. The music was bringing a flood of emotions and memories into my conscious mind and I can only suppose the autonomous part of me was just mechanically driving the car without my conscious mind paying attention to my surroundings. It was like a flashback taking over my mind and my 'body' was just auto-piloting the car in the "Direction Home".
I may never listen to Dylan again while driving the car. I’m pretty shook alls day today, hence my absence from filling you folks in after dropping that bombshell last might. Been over and over what/how/where was my head last night. It was like some kind of flashback / blackout from the reality around me ... like the responsibility of driving a car. I know for sure I wasn’t speeding, just before all this happened I remember being annoyed at a car following too close because I was doing the posted 40 mph limit and I know most folks do at least 50-55 along this section of road. I felt relieved when he finally turned left and was no longer behind me. Nor was I playing the music above a normal volume and spacing out on it. But spaced out I must have been to cause this.
On the other side of the fence. Two ladies came to me and wrapped their coats around me, as I was probably going into a state of shock from the accident and cold weather. The young driver of the other car was more concerned to make sure I was OK than the damage to his car. When his parents showed up they ware as nice and good beyond belief dealing with the situation, which believe me it was a horrendous crash. The father said. his son's car is a piece of .... don't worry about it. We were going out tomorrow to try to trade it in.
The miraculous part of this story is both the young man and I walked away with not a bump, bruise, laceration, scrape, ache or pain anywhere in our bodies. I truly and honestly attribute this to some Angle watching over me even though I can't fathom why I deserve it. That and the St. Christopher medal I've had on the dashboard of every car I've drive over the years. My Mother gave me that medal when I first got y license and 1st car and it's been with me ever since.
I'll stop here, it's been a catharsis of sorts dumping this on you all. I could go on, the memories, thoughts and images of the crash sence burned in my mind continue flooding through me on and off all day.
2 quick add-ons.
Yo UW ... I had my camera laying on the seat, I've got plenty of pictures but I don't know if I have the courage to unload them from my camera.
So why did the state Trooper ask the young man if he was drinking of has any alcohol in him. Yet he never asked me that question. Kind of odd that I remember that ... and to me kind of odd that he only asked him.
OK, I'm now really out of here with this story. I feel a drink coming on.
Edit: No alcohol or drugs legal or otherwise were in anyway part of this story. I wish I could blame on being stupid like that but I was stone cold sober.