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Lounging By The Beach - Part 5

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100%VG

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Anyone know some bad jokes?

A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The biker says "I used to have a last name, but I lost it."

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands, but he plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades."

"When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school."

"Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school again and got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant, and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD."

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD."

"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD, leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD."

"Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

JustFred_zps2914081d.jpg
 

Seabrook

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Chat y'all later - have to finish steam cleaning the spare bedroom carpet.


I have a new friend and house mate!:) My daughter gave me a t-bone steak when she moved, so he got lucky this morning - not a scrap left in his bowl.:laugh:

black-german-shepherd.jpg



This isn't his real pic, but shows the looks and size of him. His name is Friday.:)
 

jj2

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A cop stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name.

"Fred," he replies.

"Fred what?" the officer asks.

"Just Fred," the man responds.

The officer is in a good mood and thinks he might just give the biker a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name.

The biker says "I used to have a last name, but I lost it."

The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands, but he plays along with it. "Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?"

The biker replies, "It's a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades."

"When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school."

"Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school again and got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant, and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD."

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD."

"Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD, leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD."

"Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred."

The officer walked away in tears, laughing.

JustFred_zps2914081d.jpg

:laugh: :lol:
 

jj2

Moved On
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May 30, 2009
196,879
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Chat y'all later - have to finish steam cleaning the spare bedroom carpet.


I have a new friend and house mate!:) My daughter gave me a t-bone steak when she moved, so he got lucky this morning - not a scrap left in his bowl.:laugh:

black-german-shepherd.jpg



This isn't his real pic, but shows the looks and size of him. His name is Friday.:)

Oh how exciting. I'm glad you have a new house buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

100%VG

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And a BIG shout-out for New Veterans VG and Stone!:)


congrats_34.gif

Thanks, Boo. :wub:

It was such a fun day for me. :laugh:

And hello everyone :)

Hi JJ. :wub:

Good afternoon VG!:)


MERDEKA-FIREWORKS.gif

You know how I love Fireworks!!! Thanks again, Sea, My Boo. :wub:

Chat y'all later - have to finish steam cleaning the spare bedroom carpet.


I have a new friend and house mate!:) My daughter gave me a t-bone steak when she moved, so he got lucky this morning - not a scrap left in his bowl.:laugh:

black-german-shepherd.jpg



This isn't his real pic, but shows the looks and size of him. His name is Friday.:)

That's a big puppy. I hope you enjoy the company of your new friend. :)
 

daleron

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    Good morning to the Beach!:)
    Good afternoon Sea! :)
    And hello everyone :)
    Hi JJ :)
    Chat y'all later - have to finish steam cleaning the spare bedroom carpet.

    I have a new friend and house mate!:) My daughter gave me a t-bone steak when she moved, so he got lucky this morning - not a scrap left in his bowl.:laugh:
    This isn't his real pic, but shows the looks and size of him. His name is Friday.:)
    Lovely housemate Sea, love German Shephards!
     

    Sundrinkr

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    Bad jokes....

    How do you distinguish a blond at a funeral?
    She'll try to catch the wreath!

    What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

    What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password?
    1forest1

    Sven said to his friend,
    "Oh, I think my wife died."
    His friend said, "What do you mean you think?"
    "Well, the sex is still the same, but the dishes are stacking up."
     

    Seabrook

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    Oh how exciting. I'm glad you have a new house buddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Wow, is he ever a great watchdog! My DD came over one morning early and put her hand on the doorknob, and he let out a huge bark!:laugh: And it is was her dog!:facepalm: When my DD moved, a dog was not allowed at her new place. I have known Friday since he was a pup 8 yrs ago. DD is paying for all his expenses.

    Thanks, Boo. :wub:

    It was such a fun day for me. :laugh:

    You know how I love Fireworks!!! Thanks again, Sea, My Boo. :wub:

    That's a big puppy. I hope you enjoy the company of your new friend. :)

    You're welcome, VG. I'm so glad you enjoyed your day. Even though I couldn't make it, I thought of you during the day.:)

    He sure does shed a lot, but he luvs me so much ... probably b/c I scratch his back and buns for him. He is spoiled ... he won't eat his kibbles unless there's water in them to make gravy and some meat. A rush feeding of kibbles last night with no meat ... when I got up this morning, his kibbles were still there.:glare: As soon as I added some meat, it was gone in a flash.:laugh:
     

    Seabrook

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    Good afternoon Sea! :)

    Hi JJ :)

    Lovely housemate Sea, love German Shephards!

    Hi Dale!:)

    ILoveNewYorkiesbyGregOlsen121-125.jpg



    Friday is so sweet and caring BUT, we have to really keep a tight, strong leash on him. Long ago, my DD was accosted by a homeless man, and Friday charged him. Another time my DD took him for a walk in the park ... a little boy was yelling and flailing his arms around running toward my daughter ... and Friday saw danger to DD and bit the child ... no skin breakage ... a warning bite. He has also fought a couple of coyotes off of a smaller dog ... saving the dog.

    He is used to roaming around the couple of acres where my DD used to live, so we would like to find him a home on a ranch here in SD so he would be happier.



    Bad jokes....

    How do you distinguish a blond at a funeral?
    She'll try to catch the wreath!

    What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

    What's Forrest Gump's Facebook password?
    1forest1

    Sven said to his friend,
    "Oh, I think my wife died."
    His friend said, "What do you mean you think?"
    "Well, the sex is still the same, but the dishes are stacking up."

    Hiya Sunshine Friendamine!:)

    Great jokes!


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