Nicman any new thing brings with it a learning process. Some more difficult than others. I would guess all of us felt exactly like you do now, I know I did and even still do at times. However I will say it is worth it.
I started smoking since I was 13 years old, a pack a day+, and for 40+ years. I never thought it would be possible for me to quit. My kids and family would cringe from the stink of cigarettes and I was embarrased to no end. My kids told me I stank. My only option was to keep my distance. It hurt and it seemed there was nothing I could do about it.
Everytime I thought about quitting this fear would grip me and made it impossible for me. I thought there was no solution and I just accepted my bad choice and my seeming fate.
It was not true. E-cigs are a viable doable solutions to cigarettes. Please don't lose hope, read up on whatever it is you need to learn, ask for help. There are hundred of folks here who went
through the exact same thing you are going through. I being one of many and all of us ready and willing to help in whatever way we can.
Know there is hope, struggle if need be. The benefit is here. I now feel comfortable giving my kids a hug anytime I want and don't worry about it. The benefit you get is not just for you but for your loved ones as well.
Good luck and ask for help, we understand and all of us want to see you succeed.
A big hearty welcome from ECF folks!