I have been in a few threads and seen a few "Friends of Bill" here on ECF and thought it would be fun and interesting to have an official thread to talk all things program. I encourage all and any 12 step programs here, to offer hope and experiences for others.
Acknowledging the 5th tradition, Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic/addict who still suffers.
That being said I hope this thread can provide that. Questions, chat, topics, etc, feel free to post below!
Disclaimer- posting here is at your discretion, obviously realize this thread is open to the public eye, so post as much or as little as YOU feel comfortable with doing.
Myself - my name is Matt and I am an alcoholic/addict. My sobriety date is Nov 22, 2011. I have a sponsor who has a sponsor, and his sponsor has a sponsor, as well as I sponsor other men. I do not want to get into a drunkalog, but to put it simply I started drinking and using at a very young age *13 or 14 years old. I can't exactly remember my first drink/drug, but I do remember feeling a certain relief to life that was unknown previously. I can remember thinking to myself oh so this is how people get through life. And I truly believed that up until getting sober. Alcohol and drugs did something for me that I couldn't do for myself. I found a new happiness, that put all of my problems, and emotions away, and made the world a beautiful place that I could stand, at least while I was under the influence. It shut my mind up, and made me calm. There is a huge cliche I hear so much, but it holds so much merit and truth, I can classify my using/drinking in three stages, 1. Fun, 2. Fun with some problems, 3. All problems. That is the case for me I had a blast through middle and some of high school being a weekend warrior, but towards my junior year of high school is where I found ....... And it took me down fast. I became a daily user, and the "party" I loved to be a part of ended up with me being alone in whatever bathroom I could find the fastest. I became the person I absolutely never thought I was capable of, as well as despised. Stealing, lying, manipulating, and using were my character assets, and I did not care. Legal problems came, and I was quick to take advantage of prop 36 here in California, run away to rehab to avoid a doing time. My life, future, and anything I cared about seemed too foreign to either keep or achieve. I went through 4 treatment centers, every time doing it for the wrong reason whether it be "her", the parents, the judge, and I can add to that list. Alas Never for me though, I thought I could stop if I wanted to but life and other people didn't understand, you would drink/use if you knew the things I did, saw the things I had seen, and felt the way I did. After being on the streets for a while and facing an extended stay in the lovely Twin Towers correctional facility, something happened within me, and I broke down one day and prayed for the first time pretty much ever. Something along the lines of if there is a god please help me, please I just can't. And yes I said this before all the valley girls made it such a huge fad haha. Regardless 1 week later I was given an intervention from the lovely police department of Pasadena. I kicked cold turkey in jail, went to my arraignment and afterwords saw my mother teary eyed amazed how she had lost her son. Being the codependent she is she allowed me back at home, and I found myself about to steal the car again, cash in hand as I passed a mirror in my sisters room. I looked at myself right in the eyes, and had seen something I had not been able to see before. How uncontrollable my life was, and what alcoholism was doing to me. I broke down crying, put the keys back as well as the cash and I made a call to my now sponsor, and was directed to a meeting of AA. I still do not know how or why I did that, I believe I was given the gift of desperation. Plain and simple sick and tired of being sick and tired. From that moment on I did what was suggested from other men in the program as if my life depended on it, because it does. I never did anything perfectly, but I did do them to the best of my ability at the time. I worked all 12 steps with my sponsor and reached my hand out to other alcoholics and have reaped nothing but rewards from it. I talk and listen to other men, their lives, their problems. Which trips me out still, haha I am one selfish ......., and never cared about myself let alone you, now I put my hand out and give away what was given to me. I can't describe it, but it has been the single most rewarding thing ever. I have true friends today, who care about me, are willing to help, and do favors. I got married, actually found a girl willing to be with me, we have a child, and I am able to be a father today. I have plenty of materialistic things in my life today which are cool, but in a heartbeat I could loose it all, and still be okay. What has changed is something within me, where I am happy, legitimately happy, content with life, and all aspects of it. Sure I have had my ups and downs, dealt with death, illness, and financial insecurities in my sobriety, but I never walked it alone. Other men have helped guide me through everything. All I have to do is ask for help, and they do. Lastly I want to share what the steps did for me, it got me in contact with my higher power. That is the secret handshake of AA for me, what keeps me sober is my loving god. And I do not wish to scare anyone away with "religious" talk. I used to think AA was a cult, and everyone there was either full of .... or brainwashed haha. Flat out from a die hard athiest, at first what worked for me was G.O.D. Group of drunks, that idea was enough for me to get started in my steps, I believed that the group of men I surrounded myself with could help me stay sober. Later within my work I found my higher power, but that's my story, I hope you find/have found your own. I love my life today. And am so grateful. Thank you for the read, and I would love to see others!
Acknowledging the 5th tradition, Each group has but one primary purpose—to carry its message to the alcoholic/addict who still suffers.
That being said I hope this thread can provide that. Questions, chat, topics, etc, feel free to post below!
Disclaimer- posting here is at your discretion, obviously realize this thread is open to the public eye, so post as much or as little as YOU feel comfortable with doing.
Myself - my name is Matt and I am an alcoholic/addict. My sobriety date is Nov 22, 2011. I have a sponsor who has a sponsor, and his sponsor has a sponsor, as well as I sponsor other men. I do not want to get into a drunkalog, but to put it simply I started drinking and using at a very young age *13 or 14 years old. I can't exactly remember my first drink/drug, but I do remember feeling a certain relief to life that was unknown previously. I can remember thinking to myself oh so this is how people get through life. And I truly believed that up until getting sober. Alcohol and drugs did something for me that I couldn't do for myself. I found a new happiness, that put all of my problems, and emotions away, and made the world a beautiful place that I could stand, at least while I was under the influence. It shut my mind up, and made me calm. There is a huge cliche I hear so much, but it holds so much merit and truth, I can classify my using/drinking in three stages, 1. Fun, 2. Fun with some problems, 3. All problems. That is the case for me I had a blast through middle and some of high school being a weekend warrior, but towards my junior year of high school is where I found ....... And it took me down fast. I became a daily user, and the "party" I loved to be a part of ended up with me being alone in whatever bathroom I could find the fastest. I became the person I absolutely never thought I was capable of, as well as despised. Stealing, lying, manipulating, and using were my character assets, and I did not care. Legal problems came, and I was quick to take advantage of prop 36 here in California, run away to rehab to avoid a doing time. My life, future, and anything I cared about seemed too foreign to either keep or achieve. I went through 4 treatment centers, every time doing it for the wrong reason whether it be "her", the parents, the judge, and I can add to that list. Alas Never for me though, I thought I could stop if I wanted to but life and other people didn't understand, you would drink/use if you knew the things I did, saw the things I had seen, and felt the way I did. After being on the streets for a while and facing an extended stay in the lovely Twin Towers correctional facility, something happened within me, and I broke down one day and prayed for the first time pretty much ever. Something along the lines of if there is a god please help me, please I just can't. And yes I said this before all the valley girls made it such a huge fad haha. Regardless 1 week later I was given an intervention from the lovely police department of Pasadena. I kicked cold turkey in jail, went to my arraignment and afterwords saw my mother teary eyed amazed how she had lost her son. Being the codependent she is she allowed me back at home, and I found myself about to steal the car again, cash in hand as I passed a mirror in my sisters room. I looked at myself right in the eyes, and had seen something I had not been able to see before. How uncontrollable my life was, and what alcoholism was doing to me. I broke down crying, put the keys back as well as the cash and I made a call to my now sponsor, and was directed to a meeting of AA. I still do not know how or why I did that, I believe I was given the gift of desperation. Plain and simple sick and tired of being sick and tired. From that moment on I did what was suggested from other men in the program as if my life depended on it, because it does. I never did anything perfectly, but I did do them to the best of my ability at the time. I worked all 12 steps with my sponsor and reached my hand out to other alcoholics and have reaped nothing but rewards from it. I talk and listen to other men, their lives, their problems. Which trips me out still, haha I am one selfish ......., and never cared about myself let alone you, now I put my hand out and give away what was given to me. I can't describe it, but it has been the single most rewarding thing ever. I have true friends today, who care about me, are willing to help, and do favors. I got married, actually found a girl willing to be with me, we have a child, and I am able to be a father today. I have plenty of materialistic things in my life today which are cool, but in a heartbeat I could loose it all, and still be okay. What has changed is something within me, where I am happy, legitimately happy, content with life, and all aspects of it. Sure I have had my ups and downs, dealt with death, illness, and financial insecurities in my sobriety, but I never walked it alone. Other men have helped guide me through everything. All I have to do is ask for help, and they do. Lastly I want to share what the steps did for me, it got me in contact with my higher power. That is the secret handshake of AA for me, what keeps me sober is my loving god. And I do not wish to scare anyone away with "religious" talk. I used to think AA was a cult, and everyone there was either full of .... or brainwashed haha. Flat out from a die hard athiest, at first what worked for me was G.O.D. Group of drunks, that idea was enough for me to get started in my steps, I believed that the group of men I surrounded myself with could help me stay sober. Later within my work I found my higher power, but that's my story, I hope you find/have found your own. I love my life today. And am so grateful. Thank you for the read, and I would love to see others!
), and that became my drug of choice. From the time I was 20-21 until I was 32 (in 2011), I used this drug all day every day. I was in an out of treatment centers for years and years, and my family all but abandoned me. I overdosed more times than I can count, been locked up multiple times, and it's an absolute miracle that I never contracted Hepatitis C or HIV; I know many people who have.....
