How about snagging the package from the mailbox, swaggering purposefully down the driveway to the house, going into the kitchen, defiantly plopping the box on the table, shooting a John Wayne look at the Mrs., and saying, "I think I'll have a fresh cup of coffee, before I open my new REO" (Hey, we all have our fantasies, right?)
That does sound like a scene from a great movie. I like it. I'd revise it slightly:
"Hey hon, go pick up the box that I just tore off my new REO - it's out in the driveway. And when your done with that, make me another latte and bring it to me in the office while I set this bad boy up".
But my wife is 100% Colombian, highly educated and very proud. She has little tolerance for heroics or any signs of defiance. I'm cool with that. I'm cool.