A 1955 victory, oh frabjous day!
or:
A lesson in parental manipulation as taught to me by my younger brother.
I remember this event clearly and I couldn't have been more than 4 years old, and my brother Greg 3.
We two brothers were never the least bit tired when we were ordered by mom to our room for an afternoon nap. One day Greg suggested by example something new and fun to do, which was to use the mattress as a trampoline.
After a minute or two of energetic brotherly leaping, the mattress slid its way over the edge of the box spring, and that side of the mattress drooped down and touched the floor. It was way too heavy for the two of us to lift.
Mom was pregnant with our little sister and it was a major struggle for her to lift and slide the mattress back into place. Mom said, "if you do this again your father will spank you when he gets home".
The next day at nap time, Greg started jumping on the mattress again. Despite fearing for the safety of my ...., I joined in. I probably figured that I'd get blamed even if I didn't participate, but in hindsight, the mattress probably would have stayed put if Greg was the only one jumping on it.
Sure enough, the mattress came off the bed. Mom said, "OK, I told you yesterday what would happen... just wait 'til your father gets home!"
I spent the afternoon contemplating the end of the world. Greg had a plan, though.
When, out the living room window we saw Dad coming to the front door, Greg put his plan into action, though I was still cluelessly and silently saying my final prayers.
The instant the door opened, Greg went running towards Dad, shouting, "me first, Daddy! Me first!"
Mom went to the kitchen and got the dreaded wooden spoon. Dad sat down in the lounge chair. Greg pulled down his pants and went ....-up across Dad's knees without even being told to do so. After one single tender half-hearted tap on Greg's bare .... with the spoon, a chuckle forced its way into Dad's voice as he looked across the room at Mom and said to her, "honey, I just can't do it!"
Real-sounding
threats continued to be made, such as: "Now don't you make me stop this car and turn around towards you in the back seat!"
But I cannot recall any of us, including the two not yet born, ever getting an actual spanking from Dad after that day.
now I feel young again 
