Just breezing through, thought I'd share these . . .
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Recently retired George made an appointment to see his doctor because he is worried about his wife’s bad temper.
Doctor Thomas asks: "What's the problem?"
George says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my wife Brenda seems to lose her temper for no reason. It's beginning to scare me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that Brenda is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later George returns to the doctor looking fresh and happy.
George says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"
Dr Thomas says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
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The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional". Think a bit and answer before you read the correct answers. The questions are not that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator ?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory.
4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
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(Sorry, I can't offer the lyrics -- it's a Russian group doing the Beatle's "Baby, Wanna Drive My Car" (or whatever the title of that song is), in Russian, of course.)
*****
Recently retired George made an appointment to see his doctor because he is worried about his wife’s bad temper.
Doctor Thomas asks: "What's the problem?"
George says: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every day my wife Brenda seems to lose her temper for no reason. It's beginning to scare me."
The Doctor says: "I have a cure for that. When it seems that Brenda is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down."
Two weeks later George returns to the doctor looking fresh and happy.
George says: "Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?"
Dr Thomas says: "The water itself does nothing. It's keeping your mouth shut that does the trick."
*****
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "professional". Think a bit and answer before you read the correct answers. The questions are not that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Correct answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator ?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator. This tests your memory.
4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the animal meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
*****
"The kiss originated when the first male reptile licked the first female reptile, implying in a subtle, complimentary way that she was as succulent as the small reptile he had for dinner the night before."
F. Scott Fitzgerald
F. Scott Fitzgerald
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(Sorry, I can't offer the lyrics -- it's a Russian group doing the Beatle's "Baby, Wanna Drive My Car" (or whatever the title of that song is), in Russian, of course.)
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