I would love one of these. Why? Well, here's why:
It's purple. Purple is not only the color of the Ravens, but it's also traditionally been the color of kings... and grapes. And Barney. Barney's a dinosaur. Who doesn't love dinosaurs? Who wouldn't love vaping a dinosaur?
It's huge. Nothing could be more American than a huge PV. It makes me want to go through a drive-through in a Hummer, get me a supersized meal, and then go to a monster truck show. Also, a lot of the Ravens' players are huge also, so it all fits together quite well.
Third, it takes two massive batteries. We all know how expensive electricity is these days. With a pair of 18650's I'd be able to power my PV, my house, a pair of Toyota Priuses, and have enough left over to light all the rest of the houses on my block until the end of next month (actual power capacity may vary, please see technical specification for full details).
Lastly, this would be the perfect PV to have during a zombie apocalypse. Not only does it have enough capacity to keep vaping until the National Guard helicopters arrive to rescue you from the hordes of undead trying to eat your face, but with that kind of size and weight you'll be able to bonk them in their rotting little heads with it, and believe me, they'll take notice. I mean, if you were a zombie, would you attack the guy with the big purple stick of ow, or the guy next to him? I know whose brains I'd be going after if I was dead, and it's not the guy with a PV the size of a baseball bat who knocks limbs off every time he takes a swing at me.
Lastly, "Max" is, of course, the best name ever. It is, by far, the coolest name with an "X" in it, especially since everybody and his brother has seen the X-Men movies and Xavier just makes people think of Patrick Stewart. I mean, Patrick's Stewart's cool, I guess, but he's also bald, British, and loves Shakespeare. Personally, I'd rather have monster trucks, dinosaurs and zombies, and those are what "Max" says to me.
