Well, they've got those little electronic voice/note taker thingys you can buy at the stores that you could record whatever you wanted and change the message whenever you got tired of hearing it, or it could play a random selection of sayings. Where I used to work they sold something like this that was in effect a little insult box. Press the button and it would play a different insult every time.
"I'm not smoking, so shut your pie hole!"
"Did you see me light it, dumbass?"
"Where's the ash, where's the ash?"
"Keep it up and I'll set it to stun!"
