The Twisted Wish Game

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

Poof! Not realizing that Cynicism is irrevocably linked to intelligence you make your wish...At least now all you need is a towel to wipe up the drool and an "I voted for George Bush! Twice!" pin!

I wish my mail carrier wasn't such a thieving barstard!

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. It turns out the a-holes in the mail sorting facility are the real thieving .......s. Your mail carrier never had any idea he was delivering various kinds of bricks instead of the fancy mods you paid good money for. But when you turned him in, he and his family ended up living on the street. So, now you've increased the number of your enemies and you're still getting bricks in the mail. At least you know where the flaming bag of crap that now shows up on your doorstep once or twice a week comes from.

I wish my computer was faster.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Presto!!! Your computer becomes so fast you blow up like the russian chick in the last, lame Indiana Jones movie!!!

I wish I cared about my appearance more.....

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* your perspective changes about your appearance....you realize that you are way too skinny and that you have too much hair....

You gain 500 lbs (after all, you are now obsessed) and it was finally the Nair bath toxicity that kills you.

I wish people would stop trying to convice me to watch tv...

 

[Dandafixr]

*Poof* you wake up in the middle of a Zombie Apocalypse where tv is no more but your life becomes an episode of the walking dead where everyone you meet is either wanting to devour you or has horrible acting skills

I wish I had better luck

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. You just won a free lap dance from Chippendales, a lifetime supply of extra-strength girdles from Playtex, 5 free penis piercings of your choice from The BME Edge and a book of free colonic treatment coupons from Roto Rooter. Your friends have already helped you claim some of your prizes when you overindulged at the local pub. The pictures are out on the internet.

I wish I could sober up more quickly.

 

[Dandafixr]

*PooF* wish granted. After a long night of drinking and putting your mojo on a HAWT redhead you go home with her and in the middle of getting your grove on you suddenly sober up and realize the hot redhead is really a psychotic circus clown who doesn't like to take no for an answer. She ties you up and locks you in her basement feeding you once a day a mixture of oatmeal and maggots for protein. you never have to worry about sobering up again because you will never make it out of that basement.

I wish I lived in the wild west (1800's not LA after dark)

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted your Agarn on F Troop. Nuff said
(if you get this reference your also old )

I wish I could win a provari

 

[Dandafixr]

I got nothing

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila

You won a solar provari causing you to spend copious time in the daylight as it chewed through power and your resulting leather-like skin is unattractive to bbnj, forcing her to turn her attention to disheveled hippies........

I wish I could see all the commiserators at Vapebash!!!!

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* Wish Granted...but uncle was in the bath when he was mysteriously teleported there...now, wearing bubbles...he is so excited that he just wants to hug you! Shortly afterwords you are beaten senseless by Lox, as he was enjoying cake when summoned.

I wish I could wear "normal" clothes to work.

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted your now the Dean of Bo Bo's clown college. You get to wear your squeaky nose, 3 foot bow tie, orange and green wig, and giant shoes ever day now not just casual Friday

I wish I was 20 years younger.

 

[Dandafixr]

Poof wish granted, you are 5 years old and have to do it all again (aren't all women 25 yrs old?)

I wish than I win the HGTV dreamhome in utah

 

[loxmythe]

Poof wish granted you move to Utah to live in your dream home with your Mormon husband and his 6 other wives

I wish I was meaner

 

[Dandafixr]

POOF You are the most evil despicable person on the planet, they make comic books about you and send heros to try and destroy you buy you always prevail. the storys of horror told around campfires about you keep children up at night shivering in their tents. But the best part is...........wait ...whats that sound?? Oh its your alarm clock and you wake up and you just still kinda mean and like to take jabs a ppl and make them have husbands when they surely would rather have the 6 wives in utah....

I wish Lox was nicer

 

[RippleInStillWater]

Voila!!! Lox is nicer -- but of course this is a Star Trek opposite universe now and everyone must have beards.......

I wish I was suave and debonair........

 

[MASTER0FDAMPF]

*Poof* After a week the Suave shampoo and conditioner friz out your hair and your friends pick on you incessantly for smelling like apple and strawberry and not your signature patchouli. They do, however, like the debonaire scented oil you have started using with the wonderful hint of vanilla!

I wish that Rip wins his mod...

 

[bobsyeruncle]

Poof! Wish granted. Unfortunately, he doesn't get to enjoy it much. The world is suffering from the longest and bitterest cold snap everywhere. The sick, the very young and the elderly have all perished; their constitutions weren't strong enough. But no one else is expected to last much longer either. Food, water and fuel for heat are all rapidly dwindling. Everything, and everyone, grinds to a halt in the icy coldness. Apparently, hell just froze over!

I wish there was more time in the day.

 

[Sundrinkr]

Poof -- your wish has been granted. And you even get to spend the extra time on ECF but you are not allowed to post anything with innuendos, only sweet and innocent replies. Bahahahaha!

I wish I could lay by the pool all day and drink margaritas.

 

[RippleInStillWater]

VOILA You can -- but the pool is in North Dakota....bbrrrrrrrrr......

I wish there were some more mod contests - -and that I'd win one.....(Have I done that before?!?!?!? )