Throwing things n havin' a tanty

[CaptJay]

So I just KNEW that discussing how wonderful and well performing my attys were after almost 2 months would jinx them and of course I was right...2 have since decided to vape on slow-mo and are probably preparing to go toes up 8-o

They do at least work but they don't vape well now and it looks like I will have to perform the dreaded 'cleaning' and see if they are revivable.
I don't clean mine usually just give em a good blow out and they've been happy little attys until now, alas though, no longer.
It looks like they might have to go to the big mega battery in the sky any day now
The other 2 are still fine, but now I'm using them sort of nervously in case they decide to join their brothers-in-steel and make it a family outing.
So now I have to browse endlessly for deals, and I'll be hitting up cignot for some but also fancied casting my net a bit wider too, (change is good, right?) only to find out most other places are 'sold out' due to Chinese New year lasting a decade, instead of the expected week...

So I'm off to have a bit of a tanty, throw some stuff around, and swear in ejuice I'll never mention my attys good performances to anyone ever again. Ever. No I mean it. Don't want to upset the PV gods.
Who knows who might be watching...

 

[Remie]

CapyJay I'm sorry your atties decided to subject you to the pain of watching them slowly curl up and cross over. My heartfelt sympathies. I am all for throwing a major tanty. It may cause the PV gods to think twice about messing with you ever again!

I have a few good things that by throwing around would fully enhance the tantrum effect! I'd be happy to smash them against a brick wall, or draw nasty pictures on them for you and have a vicarious tantrum in your honor ... just for the cathartic release of it all.

Don't let their brothers entice them over to the dark side. Indulge and distract them. I'm sure life with you will be much more appealing. They will probably forget their collective allegiance to their brothers. They seem to suffer from short term memory loss in general.

I'll be pulling for you. Be strong and fight the good fight!

 

[bionic1]

fight the good fight!

Beastie boys..

?

 

[deitra]

LOL...Drama...The fun to read kind

 

[CaptJay]

heh Remie yeah nasty picture-making sounds good

One of the toes-up gang decided it likes the cooler manual batt rather than the heady heated world of the PT and is having the atty equivalent of a nursing home stay - or maybe it just didn't fancy a bath. So its moved its things into the spare room, and is cooling its heels atm. or maybe its sullking - its really hard to tell.
Maybe it just can't bear to leave me?

 

[Kilroy]

Well, I've got a bottle of Crest Pro Health on the counter. Thankfully the seal remains intact. For now.

 

[tarheeldan]

Sorry CaptJay! If you end up giving 'em a bath I got fingers crossed you'll be one of those "works like new again" happy stories

 

[MsSki]

I remember posting in the same thread where u prayed nothing happened to your atties. Im not saying anything anymore without knocking on wood first. Poor little guys..... Your funny lol

Tara

 

[razputin]

That does suck. Personally I've had 3 attys die in just over 2 weeks. I'm hoping that's abnormal cause I keep placing orders for more. Only have 1 left from the 2 kits I initially ordered <sigh>

 

[Katattack]

Ah, the Great Atty Rebellion of 2010. I hope your triage unit was able to stabilize the casualties.

 

[Remie]

The only atties I ever sent to the nursing home were a couple. Walter and Beulah. They seemed to enjoy the little blue soaking tub in the rehab room, yet they begged me to set them free.

Oh, they were slick, those two. Beulah was so attached to Walter, despite the fact she seemed to enjoy verbally abusing him daily. Walter didn't seem to mind. He had his own insidious little ways of getting her back.

I like to think they did grow to love each other. They went through a lot together. The uncertainty of the long immigration to the states from the old country, those lonely dark nights spent seemingly alone among so many strangers in those storage bins.

The hope that any day now The Hand would choose them and send them to a forever home. Day after day, The Hand... oh The Hand... It would reach in and grab Beulah's neighbor, or Walter's poker buddy and leave each of them just a little lonelier. It only stood to reason that eventually Walter and Beulah were side by side. Young and awkward, so full of primer fluid.

Waler eventually summoned up the nerve to speak to her. "Ya know kid, some day we'll get blown and then we'll be red hot and smokin'! Keep prayin' for some tasty juice and it will happen, just you wait and see, it will happen...".

Beulah was half asleep, dreaming about smokin' and blowin' when suddenly The Hand reached in. Walter rolled on top of her, she rolled on top of Walter... they were confused and tried to resist each other but there they were side by side, spent and exhausted, rolled together in the airy comfort of the bubble wrap.

They had enough time alone to become a tightly bonded couple before they landed in my mailbox. They had enough time alone to learn to love hard and fight harder.

They knew the day was coming soon. "Let the blowin' and the smokin' begin!", Walter cried. "Yes Walter, Yes!", Beulah sighed as she savored fond memories of the naughty times they had side by side in that bubble wrap.

From the day I unpacked them, they were both blown hard and they sure did smoke. I grew to love them both. The day I put them in the nursing home was very hard on me. They deserved it though. They were both behaving very badly and the constant blowin' they began begging for was taking it's toll on me. I would blow and get nothing in return.

I grew angry and resentful. I rescued them from the Blue Soaking Tub and I reluctantly blew them both one more time. They'd grown old. That last blow wasn't nearly as satisfying as the very first joyous anticipatory one that reaped the expected release of the clear primer fluid. This time it was only a few weak spits of dirty blue antiseptic reminiscent of denture cleaner and droopy Depends.

Walter tried his best to do some smokin' after the blowin', but Beulah was too weak. I admit, I helped her cross over, what was I do to? Watch her suffer? Let her live the rest of her pathetic little life with no more blowin' or smokin' ? No, she deserved better than that. I held her close to Walter and he said his tearful goodbyes. He spit the last of his blue stuff on her as a loving parting gesture.

I held Walter in one hand as the other tossed Beulah's lifeless body into the trash.
"Come on, buddy, we're gonna have one more go at this blowin' and smokin' thing". I tried to sound convincing, but Walter knew me too well.

I tried my best to make Walter happy without Beulah, but by the next afternoon, Walter let me know he didn't want to live without her.
I asked him; "Do you want one more blow before we're finished?"
He was already gone.

I pulled Beulah's body from the trash and laid her next to Walter. I thought it only right that I wrap them in their cozy and familiar bubble wrap and send them off the way they came, together.

There will be no more blowin' or smokin' for Walter and Beulah, but at least they still have each other.

 

[planetofthevapes]

Remie, that was friggin' awesome! A tale of two smoke-crossed atties...ah! You are awesome at this whole writing thing...you could write a novel...a novel about Walter and Beulah... Or a kid's short story "the little atty that could"

 

[tarheeldan]

Agreed! That was the single coolest post I've seen

 

[BARENETTED]

OMG - Remie! - that was the best! Are you a writer?? If not, you should be.

 

[Janetda]

Just beautiful. <as I wipe a tear from my eye>

 

[debook]

That sucks CaptJay, your post made me do the 510 atty swap and 2 are sitting in a cup of Coke as we speak and will get a dry burn tomorrow. Don't know what type you are using but a good 5V vape has a way of reviving poor performing atty's...might be worth a try if you have the means.

 

[Remie]

Thanks guys!

I was just trying to help Captjay feel better about having to put her naughty old atties into rehab

I read the whole post after I hit the "Submit Reply" button, and I started laughing so hard I was wishing I had some Depends

No one commented on the line about "getting nothing in return" - I thought for sure someone would jump all over that one!

Katattack's comment: "Ah, the Great Atty Rebellion of 2010. I hope your triage unit was able to stabilize the casualties." was awesome and made me laugh! It was like the beginning of a story and I just started replying... strange things come out of my brain sometimes

 

[CaptJay]

Heheh

Well that’s a mighty fine tale there Miss Remie. Comparable to the yarn I’m about to spin  *rolls up sleeves*

The Atty brothers came in from the west on the old 510, from the small town of Cignot, come to make their stand for all good folks against the Marlbro clan who’d been stinking up another place not too far from here.
Clem and Doc Atty could vape with the best of ‘em, not too tall you understand, but not needing any mods to set the world to rights – unless of course the fight lasted longer than 20 minutes and then they’d need a bit of a rest. Still, they were up to the task, well equipped to fight their latest foes from ‘Big ‘Baccy country’ as the down home folks called it.
The Marlbro clan were slick operators; moving in on people almost unnoticed until they were part of the community, at first seeming like friends n neighbours, but then changing, enslaving the population, making them feel weak, breathless, and, needless to say, smelling like something good honest men and women don’t wanna be smelling outside of a bonfire. Even Special agent Elliot Ness-Hoover of the FDA couldn’t get rid of them, and he strangley seemed hostile to the Atty brothers even trying to help the good people overthrow their unwanted masters. People said the government was taking a profit from the slavery the Marlbro clan had over the towns but that was just hearsay.
So, in came the Atty brothers, small yet powerful and the fight began.
It actually didn’t last as long as the expectant towns folk had anticipated. Partly because the Atty brothers had to rest every 20 minutes and the Marlbro clan, after setting their heads on fire at the start of every battle, had to run and get new people after the old ones inexplicably burned to the ground in short order.
The smell was pretty terrible.
The Atty brothers, in between their bouts of resting, topped themselves up with a marvelous array of wonderful smelling liquids, at which the towns folk could only smell on in amazement. Half of them of course couldn’t smell anything due to the proximity of the Marlbro clan setting themselves on fire in a riot of smoke and burning tar obscuring all other aromas but they caught the odd whiff though the fog.
To be frank, between the fog and the smoke, and the combined smells, it was quite hard to see anything at all but it all sounded very dramatic.
The Marlbro clan seemed to be giving way, the smells of smoke and burning paper giving way to mint, bananas and coffee but they weren’t about to go quietly. Redoubling their efforts they turned to the towns people and tried to enslave them once more but the Atty brothers rallied! They sent plumes of sweet smelling vapor into the crowds, who ‘ooooh-ed’ but didn’t ‘aaahh’ because they were too busy savoring all the new tastes.
Those down home, plain folks got up their courage and helped the brave brothers chase those Marlbro clan interlopers straight out of town!
They had beaten them!
But..poor Clem Atty was failing – he’d burnt a coil during the last battle (minus a couple of hours recharging) and he was beyond hope. All he could manage now was a little wisp of vapor, not even a mouthful, and despite his epic fight, he at last gave one final glow, and went out forever; he was buried with his boots on, in a small box which read ‘Still not smoking’.

 

[Remie]

Bravo!!! That was awesome!! It was snack-worthy great read!

Clem, oh how I love that Clem, he'll always be a hero! *applause* !!!
RIP Clem, may you meet up in atty heaven with Walter and Beulah

I love that story!!!

 

[tarheeldan]

Love it! Love it! Hope it was a little bit therapeutic too - poor, brave atty soul