Vaping and your relationships?

[chaosmacabre]

When I moved in with my girlfriend, I agreed to quit smoking. She's a non-smoker and I'd been smoking for 10 years. I felt like I finally had a good reason to quit. I tried vaping a year ago and it just didn't take. So, I went cold turkey. BIG MISTAKE! I was miserable and blamed her for most of it. I even started sneaking cigarettes at work.

A few months ago, my best bud needed to quit smoking because he was having oral surgery. It wasn't going to be easy for him as he smoked even more than I did. Then, he was introduced to vaping by another friend and it reignited my interest in it as well. . .especially since we always smoked on our lunch break together. As it turned out, we were both hobbyists at heart. Lunches turned into vaping sessions and we would even visit B&M stores once a week after work.

Since then, my relationship with my girlfriend is vastly improved. She even picked out an eGo kit and some zero nic juice for when we're out drinking (a time when she didn't mind me smoking lol). She is concerned about the long term effects, but sees it as the lesser of two evils.

Vaping has definitely affected all of my relationships in one way or another. In almost all of those instances, people have been supportive. I quit smoking so I could have more of a life to live with the people I love, but, at the end of the day, I vape for me.

 

[MrSelf Destruct]

My wife is very supportive. She tells me all the time that she is glad I do not smoke anymore. She hasn't gotten upset with any vaping purchases. Makes it very easy when you have a good support structure.

 

[Myrany]

secondlife > starcraft > wow

just sayin'.

TSo>SecondLife>ENtropia UNiverse>WoW>ATiTD>LOTRO Yeah My SL AV is 2004 Rezdate

I am that weird thing the Old Lady gamer.

BTW vaping is great for gamers. No more trying to find an excuse for a smoke break. Just take a vape and pull the next pack of MOBs.

On topic. People are going to believe what they want to believe when it comes to vaping. We can educate (and we should) but in the end it is up to them to learn.

 

[EvilZoe]

I'd also like it known that I am not all that religious (reform Jew, which means we'll accept just about anything), so my reaction isn't the knee jerk reaction of a cultist religionist or anything,,,,,but it bothers me to hear someone say anyone who is religious has a brain disorder.

Heck, I'm atheist and I dislike that assertion.

I don't believe it to be accurate at all.

Beliefs in a god or gods has more to do with deep tradition and upbringing than anything else, along with a hope (need) for there to be something more, someone to watch over us and who has our best interests at heart, which is a natural condition for the human mind. That's not any sort of brain disorder or mental illness.


Please understand that I'm not trying to be disrespectful of religious beliefs. This is just how I personally view it.

 

[Rocketpunk]

Still biting tongue.

 

[Robino1]

Still biting tongue.

Be careful you don't bite it completely off!
Don't take things too seriously. Blow it off...

 

[EvilZoe]

Still biting tongue.

I hope you're not upset with my views. I can't help the way my mind works...lol

Live and let live is the best way I know how to get through our differences.


Judging others is limiting so I try to avoid doing it.

 

[Berner]

My wife has always hated my smoking (together 21 years today, Happy Anniversary!) but has always understood how difficult it is to stop so she never gave me hassles about it but supported my many efforts to stop. I don't think either of us knew how easy it would be once vaping entered the picture and got me off tobacco; I think she thinks ill relapse because I always have before, but there is no question in my mind that I'm free of stickies forever now, and she is extremely supportive, and my kids are too.

 

[patkin]

Hubby has never smoked. I pretty much always have (since age 11.) He was very supportive when, after trying a family member's ecig, I wanted to invest in a kit. That was nearly a year ago and he's still supportive.

However, life is not without its curves. I expected to take some flack from non-smokers about vaping but I never, ever, expected it to come from smokers and x-smokers (non-vapers) instead! So far, I've found all the non-smokers I know to be both curious and positive about it but the the other two groups are not to say the least. Truthfully, as a smoker, I've never had a non-smoker (except medical people) treat me with the degree of disdain I've experienced from smokers and non-vaping X ones. Even as I type this, reliving various encounters, I'm utterly amazed that in casual relationships I've been treated much worse as a vaper than I ever was as a smoker. Being less private than I usually am, I've had to work harder shaking off any residual sense of shame as a vaper. I would actually be more comfortable smoking around these people than I am vaping. I've had to fight entering the closet. Yes, its a curve I never expected.

 

[Rocketpunk]

No, EvilZoe, it had nothing to do with your post.

I consider myself 110% aligned with my spiritual and religious beliefs, and for someone to lollypop along and say I have brain defects does a little to ruffle my feathers.

But I'm taking a deep breath and telling myself, "His/her post is not worth the dignity of a response from me". Hence, biting my tongue.

Like Robino suggested, I'll shrug it off.

Has no place here.

 

[ta2dave76]

My wife and stepson are very happy I quit. Everytime I puff banana nut bread, he gets hungry for muffins lol. My wife likes that the garage and my clothes dont smell like old nasty stale smoke. At first she was worried that I would go overboard and spend a ton of money. She loves the smells of the juices and vapor, and now just rolls her eyes when I come home with a new clearo or coils to try out.

She manages the money that I bring home, and lets me have a "weekly allowance". She is seeing that Im spending a lot less on vaping stuff than I did with smokes, and shes cool with that.

 

[Vwls]

Interesting thread.

I'm divorced so the major relationship in my life is with my daughter (freshman in high school). Since she was the one who wanted me to quit smoking cigarettes, she's all for vaping and thinks it's great. She's completely disinterested in the details though; she has no desire to see the latest mod I decorated or hear about my DIY adventures. (She did high five me though when I told her I had hit 100 days "clean.") Pretty sure her overt disinterest is just a function of being a teenager. Nothing interests them except what they are into at the time.

I do vape in the house (which I LOVE since we live in Arizona and there are only 3 months of the year when you can go outside and actually... survive), and she totally hangs out with me while I vape - barely notices I am doing it. She has mentioned a couple times that she doesn't care for the smell of my menthol vapor (she likes the coffee one), and once even compared the menthol to the smell of a cigarette. But again, I think she's just being a typical teenager (melodramatic for no reason), as it smells absolutely nothing like a cigarette LOL.

Tried a few times to get the ex to consider vaping and finally quit the cancer sticks, but he has showed no inclination, and I don't think this is something to push. It's kind of like religion discussions - proselytizing just makes you a jerk. You wait and if someone comes to you and wants to know more, then you drop the knowledge. Anything else is not only annoying, but ineffective.

Other relationships...

My best friend loves that I vape and wants to know more about it. He sends me articles and news clips all the time pertaining to vaping and listens animatedly when I share about micro coils, wicking and juices. He doesn't smoke himself, so he has no interest in vaping for his own personal use, but he thinks it's the next big thing and even wants to invest in it.

Then there are the work relationships. Those are actually the people we spend the most waking time with, so worth discussing.

I've been pretty open about the fact that I'm a vaper at work; I carry my brightly colored purple and aqua eGo with glass carto tank out where everyone can see it - emerging conspicuously from my purse, or even sitting in the pen pot on my desk. So far, no one has been disapproving or gave me the "you don't know what's in that" shpeal. I used to go out and vape where the smokers are ("the pit" lol), which led to some good conversations, but it got so I didn't want to be around the cig-smell, so now I vape in the bathroom on breaks or go for walks as time allows. I haven't had the nerve to vape in front of colleagues in situations that are non-smoking (like company picnics), but I doubt I ever will. Not trying to make a spectacle out of vaping. If someone happens to see and asks about it, that's awesome, and I "share the good news" gladly. Hopefully I haven't alienated anyone by vaping - if I have, I'm not aware of it.

Sorry to hear about those who have had issues with loved ones or romantic partners. It's so weird to me that people don't realize what a fantastic life change it is that you've stopped smoking and started vaping. Cut 'em loose if it doesn't hurt too much - if it's too entangled, then gently educate 'em. That's all you can do.

 

[Rocketpunk]

Excellent post, Vwls, and I still think your user name rocks!

 

[patkin]

I'd also like it known that I am not all that religious (reform Jew, which means we'll accept just about anything), so my reaction isn't the knee jerk reaction of a cultist religionist or anything,,,,,but it bothers me to hear someone say anyone who is religious has a brain disorder.

I stupidly ventured onto "OUTSIDE" when I was a noob to the forum not knowing what it was. I replied on a thread asking about faith. I'm not religious but have had experiences that I could only describe as spiritual and they brought me to faith... not religion. A few of the usual suspects (I later learned) absolutely attacked reading my post basically accusing me of pretty much the same thing... well, that and having an "abnormal" degree of imagination. I was shocked and sad for a while but, then, following posts at "OUTSIDE" I just considered the source.

 

[sea]

All the people closest to me are super supportive. My partner didn't like vaping at first. He didn't like the feel of it on his skin when we were in bed together, but he got over it and now vapes most of the time. He still has weeks where he also uses analogs.

My parents hated me smoking and like the vaping although they do ask me when I will stop completely. But they let me use it in their house and car which is awesome.

My sister was that told me about PVs probably five years ago, and I didn't want to try them at first. I'm happy that I did.

All my friends are cool with it.

The most problems that I have are at work and going to the city sidewalk to use it.

 

[DC2]

I spent 27 years of my life smoking on average about 6 cigarettes per day, and I had no intention of stopping.

My wife, however, would frequently complain about the smell whenever I would come back in from having a smoke.
Needless to say my wife is perfectly happy with me vaping now.


None of my friends or family have anything bad to say about vaping.
And if anyone I know has anything bad to say about vaping, I get that straightened out right quick.

 

[KalNoodle]

When I started vaping, I was still living with my parents. They were happy that I quit smoking, but always said to me, "you use that thing more than you smoked." Trying the explain that I'm using a lower nicotine level and that your body absorbs nicotine differently with ecigs when right over their heads. They still ask me when I'm going to quit using my ecig.

I had already been vaping a couple months when I met my boyfriend, so he never saw me as a smoker. He occasionally asks me if I has plans to stop using my ecig, and I tell him not in the near future. I don't think he really supports them. I also don't think he gets the whole aspect of it either, because he's never smoked and has never seen me try to quit real cigs then completely fail. I know he wishes that I didn't vape, and I try to explain to him that if I quit vaping now, I'd probably go back to smoking, but I don't think he believes me. Those discussions are few and far between and he doesn't complain too much. haha

 

[Zumeraga]

This is a great thread and I've been very interested reading others stories. My wife and I have been married for 28 years now and I had always been a smoker, while she has always been the original "anti-smoker". I even talked to her about that topic before we got married as I didn't want future problems over it. Needless to say, that lasted about 5 minutes (LOL) and she was on me to quit, without success. Well, a recent bout in the hospital and then finding out I had a throat polyp after 40 years of two packs a day brought me to the vaping world with much success. No analogs in 4 weeks, as of yesterday. Needless to say, she is ecstatic over my quitting and it has helped our relationship a lot. No more fighting and arguing about stupid cigarettes, so it has been a wonderful blessing for me. And she even likes the smell when I vape, as long as it doesn't get too overwhelming, so I can even vape in the house now, WOOT. All-in-all it has been nothing but positives for me.

 

[t2ak]

This is a great thread and I've been very interested reading others stories. My wife and I have been married for 28 years now and I had always been a smoker, while she has always been the original "anti-smoker". I even talked to her about that topic before we got married as I didn't want future problems over it. Needless to say, that lasted about 5 minutes (LOL) and she was on me to quit, without success. Well, a recent bout in the hospital and then finding out I had a throat polyp after 40 years of two packs a day brought me to the vaping world with much success. No analogs in 4 weeks, as of yesterday. Needless to say, she is ecstatic over my quitting and it has helped our relationship a lot. No more fighting and arguing about stupid cigarettes, so it has been a wonderful blessing for me. And she even likes the smell when I vape, as long as it doesn't get too overwhelming, so I can even vape in the house now, WOOT. All-in-all it has been nothing but positives for me.

Thanks! I thought it would be something interesting to talk about. I can see how it may help new comers that are hesitant to start their e-cig adventure as well.

Sorry to hear about the medical issue. Congrats on your 4 weeks! I just made it 2 months earlier this week since my last cigarette.

The Giraffe.

 

[Robino1]

When I started vaping, I was still living with my parents. They were happy that I quit smoking, but always said to me, "you use that thing more than you smoked." Trying the explain that I'm using a lower nicotine level and that your body absorbs nicotine differently with ecigs when right over their heads. They still ask me when I'm going to quit using my ecig.

I had already been vaping a couple months when I met my boyfriend, so he never saw me as a smoker. He occasionally asks me if I has plans to stop using my ecig, and I tell him not in the near future. I don't think he really supports them. I also don't think he gets the whole aspect of it either, because he's never smoked and has never seen me try to quit real cigs then completely fail. I know he wishes that I didn't vape, and I try to explain to him that if I quit vaping now, I'd probably go back to smoking, but I don't think he believes me. Those discussions are few and far between and he doesn't complain too much. haha

Maybe if you explained that the concept is like wearing the patch. You need that lower dose of nic more frequently. Eventually you may not need to have it in hand as much. The FDA has now taken off time limits on how long people use the patch and gum.

I hope that helps. Good luck


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