I don't worry not like I used to. Man, I used to worry myself SICK, like I was the worst catastrophizer ever of all time. If the husband was 5 minutes late I was planning the funeral. Etc.
I remember the first time I STOPPED, so vividly. I was watching this crap on tidal waves and how if the right volcano erupted we would all be under water. I was living in Baltimore and like, I was mentally packing the suitcase, locating the kid, etc.
Then the dude like, well I listened to his voice and he was SO HAPPY. Smug. Like this was his field of study and he WANTED it to happen.
This sort of sane mental voice washed over me, like "I will worry about this WHEN it happens." Not even IF, but WHEN. Because I realized that I'd be dead at that point and my worries would cease.
So then when Marsha Linehan the goddess of Fixing all things Psych, well I took her advice and REHEARSED my own death, in various scenarios, until I could cope. I'm pretty sure I can COPE with death. Alzheimer's scares me more than death now, probably.
To be fair, that's a tough one to mentally rehearse. But it's on my catastrophe list and 100% of the catastrophies I have written down have NEVER happened. I mean it's LIFE bad stuff happens, but the worst is usually totally unexpected.
And no, I don't worry about that. I am now at the point I am rehearsing the KID's death, because it would SUCK. Until I no longer fear it.
But mostly, I worry about what's in front of me.
I wasn't offended Wayno OR CMD not even close. If I can deadpan up a good story, I'm gonna.
So, not worried about feeling offended. Don't be I am far from offense.
I don't even hate evil doc no more. It's more like pity.
Man if this keeps up I am going to be the messiest Bodhicitta of all time.
You should all worry about when this happens. LOL.
Anna