What is the darndest thing your kids have done?

[jj2]

Just posted these in a different thread and thought it would be fun to other peoples stories.

We had appliance paint around the house.
Son (who was just barely old enough to know better) decided to use it to give our car a 'new paint job.'
RW was out in the backyard and went to get something out of the garage and found him just as he was finishing the can off. RW was so mad. So mad in fact that he just turned and walked away because he knew if he said or did anything right at that time, he'd of killed the kid.
That car was the love of his life at the time and we'd just had it repainted.

The other is about our neighbor's boy. Jerry was the sweetest kid with Down Syndrome. His parents had spent the day putting up a king size water bed and Daddy left out a screw driver. Parents were in the kitchen having a coke or something after the job was done. After a bit they kept hearing this sound so they went to investigate.
Jerry was sitting dead center on the mattress and swinging the screwdriver up and down. Now Jerry was very strong. I've seen him pick up a corner table and toss it. He was actually puncturing the mattress and making about a zillion holes in it so the water would squirt up at him.
What can I say, he loved water.

 

[Fudgey]

My niece got up one morning and decided to make pancakes. Mom was still sleeping, when she got up there was pancake mix and syrup everywhere....LOL

Hubby had set up a live trap in the back yard to catch squirrels because we were being over run by them, not to mention they were eating all off our pecans off the tree. My kids and their friends decided to make a pet out of one that got in the trap. They made a collar out of a piece of yarn and managed to get it around his neck. When they opened the cage the squirrel went crazy and took off so fast that the yarn slipped right though somebody's hand. The squirrel did manage to get the yarn off of his neck, thank goodness.

 

[Phantompigbee5]

Our 3 yr old Grandson was spending the night and we were having a bad thunderstorm. I went and got him and his GlowWorm favorite sleeping pal (which glows in the dark when you squeeze him, for those who arent familiar) put him in bed between my Husband and me. Suddenly a loud clap of thunder, my Husband rolls over on the GlowWorm it lights up he thinks lightening has struck the bed and its on fire, he is smacking that toy everywhere, I run and switch the light on thinking what the "H" is going on, my Grandson is crying he cant understand why his Pops is beating up his GlowWorm. I said, how can this bed be on fire? Its a waterbed! It took awhile for our Grandson to sleep with us again!!!!!

 

[opie]

that is freaking hilarious....

Our 3 yr old Grandson was spending the night and we were having a bad thunderstorm. I went and got him and his GlowWorm favorite sleeping pal (which glows in the dark when you squeeze him, for those who arent familiar) put him in bed between my Husband and me. Suddenly a loud clap of thunder, my Husband rolls over on the GlowWorm it lights up he thinks lightening has struck the bed and its on fire, he is smacking that toy everywhere, I run and switch the light on thinking what the "H" is going on, my Grandson is crying he cant understand why his Pops is beating up his GlowWorm. I said, how can this bed be on fire? Its a waterbed! It took awhile for our Grandson to sleep with us again!!!!!

 

[honuhart]

Our 3 yr old Grandson was spending the night and we were having a bad thunderstorm. I went and got him and his GlowWorm favorite sleeping pal (which glows in the dark when you squeeze him, for those who arent familiar) put him in bed between my Husband and me. Suddenly a loud clap of thunder, my Husband rolls over on the GlowWorm it lights up he thinks lightening has struck the bed and its on fire, he is smacking that toy everywhere, I run and switch the light on thinking what the "H" is going on, my Grandson is crying he cant understand why his Pops is beating up his GlowWorm. I said, how can this bed be on fire? Its a waterbed! It took awhile for our Grandson to sleep with us again!!!!!

hahah, thats funny!!

 

[Fudgey]

Our 3 yr old Grandson was spending the night and we were having a bad thunderstorm. I went and got him and his GlowWorm favorite sleeping pal (which glows in the dark when you squeeze him, for those who arent familiar) put him in bed between my Husband and me. Suddenly a loud clap of thunder, my Husband rolls over on the GlowWorm it lights up he thinks lightening has struck the bed and its on fire, he is smacking that toy everywhere, I run and switch the light on thinking what the "H" is going on, my Grandson is crying he cant understand why his Pops is beating up his GlowWorm. I said, how can this bed be on fire? Its a waterbed! It took awhile for our Grandson to sleep with us again!!!!!

 

[maureengill]

Thanks for sharing Phanton....you had me LOLing

Our 3 yr old Grandson was spending the night and we were having a bad thunderstorm. I went and got him and his GlowWorm favorite sleeping pal (which glows in the dark when you squeeze him, for those who arent familiar) put him in bed between my Husband and me. Suddenly a loud clap of thunder, my Husband rolls over on the GlowWorm it lights up he thinks lightening has struck the bed and its on fire, he is smacking that toy everywhere, I run and switch the light on thinking what the "H" is going on, my Grandson is crying he cant understand why his Pops is beating up his GlowWorm. I said, how can this bed be on fire? Its a waterbed! It took awhile for our Grandson to sleep with us again!!!!!

 

[keyzygirl]

LOL,That was a great story!

When my daughter was 2 she snuck in the bathroom and covered herself from head to toe with blue sparkle toothpaste.She came out Blue and naked and said"" look momma,Im a smurf!!""I laughed my .... off.

 

[vapi]

It's nothing my oldest daughter did, it's what she said. She was in the 4th or 5th grade and they had the health talk that week and she and I were talking about it and she told me that she wasn't going to make the same mistake I made before I got married and I had her. She said she was going to stay a virgin until she got married and use condoms until then. I had to break it to her and tell her that I was using condoms with her father when I got pregnant, she said but that's a (she did the math in her head) and just walked away. At least she thought I was a virgin until I got pregnant with her, lol.

 

[Lisa B]

My oldest daughter was 4 and we always had a fight over wearing her seat belt and I always told her she had to wear it because I loved her and didn't want her to get hurt. So one day we were at the laundry mat and a lady drove up in a pick up with 4 kids with none of them wearing seat belts. Just as the woman was carrying in her laundry, Amy blurts out in a very loud voice "Mommy that lady doesn't love her kids because none of them were wearing seat belts. I was horrified and the lady just glared at me, what was I going to say?

 

[Lorizgal]

This is a story from when my partners oldest was just about 2 years old. Lori (my partner) was a police officer and worked all these really odd hours. But that night both she and her now ex-husband were home and they were trying to potty train Patience, their daughter. All of sudden, Patience cries out "Daddy gotta go pee" so off she runs to the master bathroom. She quicky pulls down her pants and squeezes her little belly and promptly pees down her legs. Then she looks at Gary (her dad) with the look of why does it work for daddy and not me. After her parents got done laughing........Lori looked at Gary (who at taught at the time and was always home with Patience in the afternoons) and said "I think you had better close the door from now on". To this day and Patience is now 23, she still doesn't understand why God made that she can't pee standing up.

 

[jj2]

This is a story from when my partners oldest was just about 2 years old. Lori (my partner) was a police officer and worked all these really odd hours. But that night both she and her now ex-husband were home and they were trying to potty train Patience, their daughter. All of sudden, Patience cries out "Daddy gotta go pee" so off she runs to the master bathroom. She quicky pulls down her pants and squeezes her little belly and promptly pees down her legs. Then she looks at Gary (her dad) with the look of why does it work for daddy and not me. After her parents got done laughing........Lori looked at Gary (who at taught at the time and was always home with Patience in the afternoons) and said "I think you had better close the door from now on". To this day and Patience is now 23, she still doesn't understand why God made that she can't pee standing up.

Well I thought it is kind of unfair myself!!! Especially when I'm out mushrooming!!!

 

[hairball]

My daughter, she was 4 at the time, told everyone she saw that she had her period....like she knew what that was. All I could do was stand there and laugh, especially when she told a 60+ year old man.

 

[Fudgey]

Lorizgal and hairball....those stories are too funny!!

 

[quittin4mykids]

ROFLMAO!

My kids dont usually do things in public that shocks me- Its what they do at home that kills me- LOL One day I was cooking supper- the dog was in the pasture barking her fool head off- and since she is good about finding snakes I told the boys to go and check on her-

a few minutes later, my 2nd son walked in with a buzzard feather and said "we couldnt find anything, but look at what I got!" I told him to get the nasty thing out of my house-

Then just a few minutes later, my door opened ala Kramer style and my oldest (who was about 9 at the time) busted in with a FULL grown, VERY alive, VERY ...... buzzard- IN his arms-

And wanted to keep it!

That durn thing stuck around here for days- come to find out they were feeding it behind my back-

When asked "what made you try to catch a buzzard" his reply was "to see if I could"

 

[MamaD]

One night when my son was 18 months old, he decided to get up and make some chocolate milk. Well, he got it a bit wrong. He used hot cocoa mix (the tub, not the packet that was left on the counter) and decided he was going to make a lot of it. So he went into the only bathroom we had, poured the mix in, stirred it with the toilet brush, I'm guessing he tried to clean up his mess as I had tampons and pads and chocolate mix everywhere in my bathroom. He colored the shower walls with it. When I got up the next morning I had a mess from, well, you know. He was curled up in his bed, under his covers, and covered in chocolate mix. At 26 he still loves his chocolate milk, only he does a better job at making it now!