In no way would I wish to be disrespectful, but (A) I am a Mark Twain Fan and (B) I am from Scotland ... and what you have is what we call "The Dreep." - it's so common that in the Winter we even have a folk character we call "Sammie Dreep."
Back to Mark Twain or someone similar ; :-
Man comes into Doctors complaining of pain ...
Man -" It really hurts when I do this."
Doctor " There's only one thing I can say - don't do it then, and you'll be fine!" ( or in Scots -"Weel then, jist dinnae dae it and ye'll no be bothhert wi' it oney mair!")