Worrying new phenomenon making the news
CR.AP News Exclusive:29/04/10
CR.AP News newscaster Bazy Lastard has just brought (copied and pasted) in a story straight out of a science fiction novel
'Tele-portation fluid' The alarming side effects,
We take up the story in an ordinary suburban street, in an ordinary suburban house, the Parton household in Downton Abbey-Freeview.
"I was worried about my health" said Begyur, the Father of three from Realton, Western Summertime.
I had heard of 'vaping' and didn't really know what it was, or what it was for, so, I went on the world wide web and did some searching-thats where my story begins.
What Begyur found got him into some real trouble, a new 'street drug' called Vapor which is reported as being made from the same ingredients as Anti-freeze, what followed would seem like a page straight out of a sci-fi movie.
"I smoked a pack of cigrits a day, I knew they were killing me, the cough in the morning til 'my fix' numbed that out re assured me that I had chosen the right brand eventualy, 3 cigrits and I'd be fine for the rest of the day-no coughing at all after that-which was great", "the cost was rising and one day I sat down and counted up what my smokes were costing me-and not just my health, holeee **** I thought-what the hell am I doing this for", "That's when I made the decision, I took a gamble-,,,heck, what could I lose now?, the button said 'Pay-Pal', my finger hovered and turned white, released, then white again, over and over, then.. I was ready to throw caution to the wind and pay, I could be paying with my life, my soul ?, it was a huge gamble-but I knew the hand that I already held,...... tobacco, smokes, my daily pack ".
"Begyur is not alone, hundreds if not thousands worldwide (latest stats) have been beguiled into this 'witchcraft'" said St Glands-the patron saint of Pharmacology.
What happened next has left science, Governments, Health Organisations and the media baffled,,,and worried.
"It's like they have been tele-ported to a far off time,,, like 2013 or something-they actually believe that they are smoke free-after years and years of smoking cigarettes", "Anyone who believes this is crazy" said Hanz Wringer who is from the Worlds Healthiest Organ.
Users appear to have been transported in time to a wierd and wonderfull future, Cigarettes and indeed Nicotine addiction are no longer the norm, they speak of banana and Lychee 'steam' and chant an ancient and mysterious mantra... 'Ohm', and bleat like the sheep we once herded as 'tobacco consumers' only now they say things like 'mAh' and 'silica'.
"Approved NRT is the only alternative to smoking that has 'safe nicotine'" said a spokesperson from a Large Pharmaceuticals company.
Bazy Lastard- Journalist and Junior editor (cough) for Trash Media Corps.
Next up:...
On CR.AP News , "Bankers, Obama and Climate Change"
And "2010- Will Swine Flu balance the Worlds Population"
CR.AP News Exclusive:29/04/10
CR.AP News newscaster Bazy Lastard has just brought (copied and pasted) in a story straight out of a science fiction novel
'Tele-portation fluid' The alarming side effects,
We take up the story in an ordinary suburban street, in an ordinary suburban house, the Parton household in Downton Abbey-Freeview.
"I was worried about my health" said Begyur, the Father of three from Realton, Western Summertime.
I had heard of 'vaping' and didn't really know what it was, or what it was for, so, I went on the world wide web and did some searching-thats where my story begins.
What Begyur found got him into some real trouble, a new 'street drug' called Vapor which is reported as being made from the same ingredients as Anti-freeze, what followed would seem like a page straight out of a sci-fi movie.
"I smoked a pack of cigrits a day, I knew they were killing me, the cough in the morning til 'my fix' numbed that out re assured me that I had chosen the right brand eventualy, 3 cigrits and I'd be fine for the rest of the day-no coughing at all after that-which was great", "the cost was rising and one day I sat down and counted up what my smokes were costing me-and not just my health, holeee **** I thought-what the hell am I doing this for", "That's when I made the decision, I took a gamble-,,,heck, what could I lose now?, the button said 'Pay-Pal', my finger hovered and turned white, released, then white again, over and over, then.. I was ready to throw caution to the wind and pay, I could be paying with my life, my soul ?, it was a huge gamble-but I knew the hand that I already held,...... tobacco, smokes, my daily pack ".
"Begyur is not alone, hundreds if not thousands worldwide (latest stats) have been beguiled into this 'witchcraft'" said St Glands-the patron saint of Pharmacology.
What happened next has left science, Governments, Health Organisations and the media baffled,,,and worried.
"It's like they have been tele-ported to a far off time,,, like 2013 or something-they actually believe that they are smoke free-after years and years of smoking cigarettes", "Anyone who believes this is crazy" said Hanz Wringer who is from the Worlds Healthiest Organ.
Users appear to have been transported in time to a wierd and wonderfull future, Cigarettes and indeed Nicotine addiction are no longer the norm, they speak of banana and Lychee 'steam' and chant an ancient and mysterious mantra... 'Ohm', and bleat like the sheep we once herded as 'tobacco consumers' only now they say things like 'mAh' and 'silica'.
"Approved NRT is the only alternative to smoking that has 'safe nicotine'" said a spokesperson from a Large Pharmaceuticals company.
Bazy Lastard- Journalist and Junior editor (cough) for Trash Media Corps.
Next up:...
On CR.AP News , "Bankers, Obama and Climate Change"
And "2010- Will Swine Flu balance the Worlds Population"
Now that's real reporting!
