Let me begin where so many shoddy ad writers always begin -- with a terrible and heavy handed analogy:
The taste of Maha Ras is like strolling through an Indian herb garden that was planted in Jamaica and inhaled on some unlikely brisk and dewy morning……or like being in that very same herb garden, blissfully ignoring its odd culturally mismatched mashup, and it’s like only a little chilly outside-- not so much temperature as it’s the windiness from it being an island and maybe also it’s the morning after a small hurricane passed through that didn’t kill anybody or really break anything.
I’m so sorry for that, but sometimes even the ....tiest of analogies can still make a good point. I mean asking us just what exactly Murdock’s Ras tastes like is like askingmy two-year-old why she won’t poop in the toilet when it’s only a scant 8 inches away from the bath tub which is obviously a much funnier and more comfortable place to poop. And if she could answer me, I either wouldn’t be able to understand it (typical toddler giggling gibberish), or else it would be an answer so unattached to any reality I know that it would be completely useless to me. You want an answer that accurately conveys just what might be going on inside Maha Ras so that prospective buyers can make an informed choice, and I want an answer that reveals just enough of what’s going on inside my daughter’s head so I can come up with an appropriate method of behavior modification with a higher than average probability of success, which in turn would keep me from having to bleach the bathtub at a frequency of damn near every night.
Personal prodigious toddler-poop issues aside, the point I’m struggling to make here is that we just don’t have the right tools for the job. My daughter doesn’t have the words to explain herself, and neither do we, because Maha Ras is like heat, and I don’t mean that it’s hot, I mean like weird quantum thermodynamical big “h” Heat where countless trillions of tiny RANDOM interactions all add up to create a very uniform and predictable phenomenon.
Do you see where I’m going?
No? Let me put it to you another way: Maha Ras is good because it is good, or rather -- it is good because it is done well.No one individual flavor rises up above the rest, and when appropriately proportioned their combination creates something wholly unique (greater than the sum of its parts, etc…) and it is by virtue of this craftiness that it manages to defy all previous attempts at descriptive deconstruction, leaving us to suffer though the morass of half-witted metaphors and vague analogies.
And if I may, here’s another vague analogy for you to chew on:
Maha Ras is like an awesome Chinese soup dumpling, only the soup isn’t soup, it’s some sweetly fragrant and vaguely spicy herbal tea and the dumpling isn’t a dumpling, it’s a weird and awesome tropical fruit, and then when you bite into this strange tea-in-fruit thing, it seems like you might have a tiny piece of licorice stuck in between two molars but it could just be one of those funny electrochemical glitches in your nose-to-brain tasting system, but the questionable reality of that licorice bit is so utterly trivial because you absolutely sort of barely taste it and even though you actually loathe licorice in general, it really does take that oolong-papaya-whatever dumpling from AlreadyPrettyDamnTasty into Holy....That’sAmazing territory.
I don’t know if Murdock is a Buddist, a Hindi, a Sikh or a Methodist, but to me he absolutely is some kind of Middle Way mystic /e-juice swami, because every toot of Ras is so utterly delightful, so entirely confounding and so masterfully balanced that I just can’t seem to pin down any specific ingredient and actually, I would prefer it if you’d stop asking me.
It tastes like so many things but it also tastes like just one thing all at the same time. It is everything and it is nothing.See what I mean about the whole Buddist-ish mystic Middle Way stuff?
It will take a whole pantload of hubris to even attempt a mere blind-stab at actual description -- we’re talking major hand-waving, unabashed free-market imagining and a whole heaping mess of uneducated guessing. But we must press on, fellow would-be vape-buddists!
And so with eyes closed, let us inhale a deep and hearty toot of the mystical Ras and let us focus our mind’s eyes on that elusive place between electro-chemical machinations of raw sense data processing and goofy mental picture show. We ask:
Is it sweet? Yes.
Is it sour?It’s certainly not your run of the mill puckerer -- and I know this is going to sound inappropriately whimsical -- but it does have what I would consider a tiny twinge of tartiness.
Is it spicy?No. Well not really. Ok maybe a little, but not like cayenne or wasabi. I’m thinking there’s a like a dash of some really mild cinnamon in there…and maybe nutmeg.Wait. Allspice?
Is it fizzy, like soda? Nope.
Is it nutty?Only metaphorically. (sorry)
Is it toasty or smoky? Nope, not a bit. No campfire soot, roasted nuts or burnt sugar caramelly-ness here, though I’m sure I could make it taste like burned nuts, if I cranked up the wattage to somewhere near fullblownludicrous.
Is it fruity? Yes. But the best part is that it’s fruity without having that gross syrupy aftertaste.It’s like a fruit whisper.
What kind of fruit?I dunno, I said it was a ‘Fruit Whisper’. Maybe it’s cherries and strawberries. Maybe it’s a mango.Maybe it’s all three. And maybe it’s some kind of cactus, like a prickly pear.
Is it leafy?Oh yeah. But not like tobacco.More like tea leaves or some weird yet awesomely edible flower.
Is it earthy?Sure is. Like some kind of exotic wild root – and I’m not a witch so take this with a grain of salt and whatnot – but it could be valerian.
Is it minty, or frosty? Not per se. But if I had to guess, I’d say Murdock threw in some anise just for a laugh. And I love it so…. who’s laughing now?
Will you please summarize? Okay.Ras tastes like hibiscus-cherry-blossom-mango-sassafras tea, with a tiny absinthe chaser……and then there’s that last bit, which is a sort of effervescent leafiness, like maybe lavender or even eucalyptus -- holy crap is that…..sandalwood?
The taste of Maha Ras is like strolling through an Indian herb garden that was planted in Jamaica and inhaled on some unlikely brisk and dewy morning……or like being in that very same herb garden, blissfully ignoring its odd culturally mismatched mashup, and it’s like only a little chilly outside-- not so much temperature as it’s the windiness from it being an island and maybe also it’s the morning after a small hurricane passed through that didn’t kill anybody or really break anything.
I’m so sorry for that, but sometimes even the ....tiest of analogies can still make a good point. I mean asking us just what exactly Murdock’s Ras tastes like is like askingmy two-year-old why she won’t poop in the toilet when it’s only a scant 8 inches away from the bath tub which is obviously a much funnier and more comfortable place to poop. And if she could answer me, I either wouldn’t be able to understand it (typical toddler giggling gibberish), or else it would be an answer so unattached to any reality I know that it would be completely useless to me. You want an answer that accurately conveys just what might be going on inside Maha Ras so that prospective buyers can make an informed choice, and I want an answer that reveals just enough of what’s going on inside my daughter’s head so I can come up with an appropriate method of behavior modification with a higher than average probability of success, which in turn would keep me from having to bleach the bathtub at a frequency of damn near every night.
Personal prodigious toddler-poop issues aside, the point I’m struggling to make here is that we just don’t have the right tools for the job. My daughter doesn’t have the words to explain herself, and neither do we, because Maha Ras is like heat, and I don’t mean that it’s hot, I mean like weird quantum thermodynamical big “h” Heat where countless trillions of tiny RANDOM interactions all add up to create a very uniform and predictable phenomenon.
Do you see where I’m going?
No? Let me put it to you another way: Maha Ras is good because it is good, or rather -- it is good because it is done well.No one individual flavor rises up above the rest, and when appropriately proportioned their combination creates something wholly unique (greater than the sum of its parts, etc…) and it is by virtue of this craftiness that it manages to defy all previous attempts at descriptive deconstruction, leaving us to suffer though the morass of half-witted metaphors and vague analogies.
And if I may, here’s another vague analogy for you to chew on:
Maha Ras is like an awesome Chinese soup dumpling, only the soup isn’t soup, it’s some sweetly fragrant and vaguely spicy herbal tea and the dumpling isn’t a dumpling, it’s a weird and awesome tropical fruit, and then when you bite into this strange tea-in-fruit thing, it seems like you might have a tiny piece of licorice stuck in between two molars but it could just be one of those funny electrochemical glitches in your nose-to-brain tasting system, but the questionable reality of that licorice bit is so utterly trivial because you absolutely sort of barely taste it and even though you actually loathe licorice in general, it really does take that oolong-papaya-whatever dumpling from AlreadyPrettyDamnTasty into Holy....That’sAmazing territory.
I don’t know if Murdock is a Buddist, a Hindi, a Sikh or a Methodist, but to me he absolutely is some kind of Middle Way mystic /e-juice swami, because every toot of Ras is so utterly delightful, so entirely confounding and so masterfully balanced that I just can’t seem to pin down any specific ingredient and actually, I would prefer it if you’d stop asking me.
It tastes like so many things but it also tastes like just one thing all at the same time. It is everything and it is nothing.See what I mean about the whole Buddist-ish mystic Middle Way stuff?
It will take a whole pantload of hubris to even attempt a mere blind-stab at actual description -- we’re talking major hand-waving, unabashed free-market imagining and a whole heaping mess of uneducated guessing. But we must press on, fellow would-be vape-buddists!
And so with eyes closed, let us inhale a deep and hearty toot of the mystical Ras and let us focus our mind’s eyes on that elusive place between electro-chemical machinations of raw sense data processing and goofy mental picture show. We ask:
Is it sweet? Yes.
Is it sour?It’s certainly not your run of the mill puckerer -- and I know this is going to sound inappropriately whimsical -- but it does have what I would consider a tiny twinge of tartiness.
Is it spicy?No. Well not really. Ok maybe a little, but not like cayenne or wasabi. I’m thinking there’s a like a dash of some really mild cinnamon in there…and maybe nutmeg.Wait. Allspice?
Is it fizzy, like soda? Nope.
Is it nutty?Only metaphorically. (sorry)
Is it toasty or smoky? Nope, not a bit. No campfire soot, roasted nuts or burnt sugar caramelly-ness here, though I’m sure I could make it taste like burned nuts, if I cranked up the wattage to somewhere near fullblownludicrous.
Is it fruity? Yes. But the best part is that it’s fruity without having that gross syrupy aftertaste.It’s like a fruit whisper.
What kind of fruit?I dunno, I said it was a ‘Fruit Whisper’. Maybe it’s cherries and strawberries. Maybe it’s a mango.Maybe it’s all three. And maybe it’s some kind of cactus, like a prickly pear.
Is it leafy?Oh yeah. But not like tobacco.More like tea leaves or some weird yet awesomely edible flower.
Is it earthy?Sure is. Like some kind of exotic wild root – and I’m not a witch so take this with a grain of salt and whatnot – but it could be valerian.
Is it minty, or frosty? Not per se. But if I had to guess, I’d say Murdock threw in some anise just for a laugh. And I love it so…. who’s laughing now?
Will you please summarize? Okay.Ras tastes like hibiscus-cherry-blossom-mango-sassafras tea, with a tiny absinthe chaser……and then there’s that last bit, which is a sort of effervescent leafiness, like maybe lavender or even eucalyptus -- holy crap is that…..sandalwood?
