An army of footmen is marching out of the distance into the meadow between the Highrise Penthouse/Brownstone area and tea table center of Vapeland. Each footman wears chain mail shirts covered with cloth padding that bears the symbol of Vapeland. It is a J and N joined together as one letter on a verdant green background. Beneath it are the words "Viva Vapeland!". They form two columns that march ever closer and you can see that their hard leather leggings, brown and shiney, top off black hard leather boots. Each footman wears a plate mail helm, face guards, perforated with fleur-de-lis shaped holes cover thier visages. They each carry a large spear and have longswords sheathed at their sides. The two columns are front and center when they suddenly stop and the lead footman, from the right column comes forward turns to face the crowd of onwatchers, and places the but end of his spear on the ground. The footman from the left column mimicks the first but you notice he has a long tubular brass horn on his hip opposite the sword. He turns to face the group looking on and raising the horn to his lips plays a triumphant, yet serious, joyfull, yet somehow subdued, fanfare. The other soldier lifts his faceguard and you can see it is James,yardyrd's assistant. His gold rimmed glasses are suddenly visible and you notice that a ruby adorns the end of each sleeve of his chain mail. He speaks.
"Hail, greetings, and salutations fellow Vapelandians! Garlands of welcome to those new to us and those who visit from afar." Suddenly he is is holding a scroll in his hands and slowly opening it he begins to read.
"We now present our leader, employer, advisor, friend, and spiritual advisor...yardbyrd...the Royal Blue Byrd!"
A jewel encrusted perch, fashioned from silver, platinum, gold, rubies, diamonds and emeralds appears. The trumpeter is at the ready. James raises his spear and as he throws it, with unexpected force, it strikes the soil next to the perch and the trumpeter plays that same fanfare, while the spear gently waves back and forth, and yardbyrd appears on the perch. He is wearing a long red robe, and black velvet shoes. There is an green orb hovering next to his left wing and a blue scepter hovering near his right one. A platinum medallion hangs from his neck. It is a "Y" and a "B" joined together much like the "J" and "N" on the footmen's chests. The medallion begins to glow royal blue and a deep, rich male, voice, with an English accent can be heard distinctly.
"Garlands of salute! Crowns of the joy of rejoined kinship! Harmony, love, contentment and generosity are here with you all! I come before you today to reflect upon my most recent samplings of Vapelandian Delights and announce most pleasing personal news." The green orb begins to spin and expand until, like a viewerscreen images appear as yardbyrd narrates. You can see James. He is walking down a worn concrete driveway past a patch of bear earth on the right. He follows the slope downard where a plain black mailbox waits. He opens the mailbox and retrives 3 packages from it.
"Today my assistand, and good friend, James, completed a mission of the utmost importance to us both; we have vapemail from AIV! It contains Cherry Blossom, with adjusments, Mystic Mandalime, with adjustments, and Foursquare. More later on these latest delights.
I, and James, both have sampled what we call the Byrd's adjusted Pear Ship, early today, after giving it just over a week steeping time. The blending of the pear and tobacco has been tremendously enhanced; my former concern about requesting less sweetness has been allayed as it has been enhanced by steeping! The resulting liquid is less nutty, slightly more fruity, and just a bit sweeter. We also feel that the TH has been increased. Thank you Ms. Nicole Li! I don't think I would want any further adjustment; the new Pear Ship, with Byrd's adjustments is most delightful and palate pleasing to us; we thank you! James consumed this taste using a 900 mah 510 battery and his newly acquired Vivi Nova Mini.
The Stark Winter elixir, has also had time to steep, and I find myself believing that their is some butterscotch flavor there. The deep rich tobacco flavor is still there but slightly subdued and the menthol quality remains at bay --subtle and pleasing, an after thought upon an exhale; overall a delicious and satisfying tobacco vape that we will continue to give an ongoing review as we sample and ponder what other layers of flavor are found therein. Perhaps Vapeland's Rev67 can expound further on his views regarding this.
One of the other packages, retrieved by James.."(the orb is showing old hands, one adorned by a diamond pinky ring, opening a package that matches yardbyrd's description)"...contained new adapators, new batteries and a new battery charger. What ho? What could these items be for?"
The orb is showing those same old hands. There is a third package being slowly opened...it reveals.....
"I am very pleased and happy to say that this third package contained our SSGGTS #3163 acquired through the classified ads of this forum! Irony abounds in the fact that all three of these packages arrived at the same time today! James is still mastering this new and amazing device and we will report later our experiences with it; forgive our inexperience but we are in uncharted waters and having prepared for our journey begin with a meek and easy voyage. Many thanks to our Hill Giant who is lending his expertise regarding it and still offers his gracious further help and input; thank you humoungous one! Perhaps we will become more seaworthy later. With the permission of our patron let there be feasting and celebration! Vapeland should be encouraged that this old byrd's, and his aged assistant's, months of saving, and determination to acquire this fine object have been met with fruition; if we can do it so can others! We will report -later- on the new flavors we received today and our impression, experience, and use of this wondrous new device. There is also a new quest for an additional, amazing, updated avatar that is being assisted by our gracious ms. morri."
The sound of marching feet is heard and the columns of footmen, less James, retreat. James pulls up his spear from the ground and holding it aloft in his right hand, like a javelin, he runs toward the horizon and as he hurls the spear. but he doesn't release it, flying magically away he vanishes into the horizon a glin of sunlight reflecting off his chainmail shirt.
"Alas I must retreat as well... but not before offering an old byrd's apologies for this lengthy discourse. I dwindle, here before you, as I pay tribute to you all and a fine Shakespearean actor. I also offer apologies to William Shakespeare and King Richard II." Yardbyrd bows graciously and his attire is gone. His perch is plain, brown wood, a bevelled edge facing you. The perch is rotating slowly around; yardbyrd is stiff spined upon it, his wings tight at his sides, his head held straight up, beak pointing to the heavens, as if he is standing at attention or giving a salute. He slowly turns to dots as if he was stippled upon the very air of Vapeland. The dots slowly dissapear, as these words are heard, the last tiny sphere, deep royal blue, and much like a bluebery, fades slowly with the words...
Yardbyrd's voice suddenly sounds very similar to Patrick Stewart's
"This royal perch of byrds, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea of cyberspace,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
this joyous spread and mystical of threads,
—This blessed plot...this earth....this realm.....this Vapeland."
- Liberties have been taken with William Shakespeare's Richard II Act ii. Sc. 1.
"Hail, greetings, and salutations fellow Vapelandians! Garlands of welcome to those new to us and those who visit from afar." Suddenly he is is holding a scroll in his hands and slowly opening it he begins to read.
"We now present our leader, employer, advisor, friend, and spiritual advisor...yardbyrd...the Royal Blue Byrd!"
A jewel encrusted perch, fashioned from silver, platinum, gold, rubies, diamonds and emeralds appears. The trumpeter is at the ready. James raises his spear and as he throws it, with unexpected force, it strikes the soil next to the perch and the trumpeter plays that same fanfare, while the spear gently waves back and forth, and yardbyrd appears on the perch. He is wearing a long red robe, and black velvet shoes. There is an green orb hovering next to his left wing and a blue scepter hovering near his right one. A platinum medallion hangs from his neck. It is a "Y" and a "B" joined together much like the "J" and "N" on the footmen's chests. The medallion begins to glow royal blue and a deep, rich male, voice, with an English accent can be heard distinctly.
"Garlands of salute! Crowns of the joy of rejoined kinship! Harmony, love, contentment and generosity are here with you all! I come before you today to reflect upon my most recent samplings of Vapelandian Delights and announce most pleasing personal news." The green orb begins to spin and expand until, like a viewerscreen images appear as yardbyrd narrates. You can see James. He is walking down a worn concrete driveway past a patch of bear earth on the right. He follows the slope downard where a plain black mailbox waits. He opens the mailbox and retrives 3 packages from it.
"Today my assistand, and good friend, James, completed a mission of the utmost importance to us both; we have vapemail from AIV! It contains Cherry Blossom, with adjusments, Mystic Mandalime, with adjustments, and Foursquare. More later on these latest delights.
I, and James, both have sampled what we call the Byrd's adjusted Pear Ship, early today, after giving it just over a week steeping time. The blending of the pear and tobacco has been tremendously enhanced; my former concern about requesting less sweetness has been allayed as it has been enhanced by steeping! The resulting liquid is less nutty, slightly more fruity, and just a bit sweeter. We also feel that the TH has been increased. Thank you Ms. Nicole Li! I don't think I would want any further adjustment; the new Pear Ship, with Byrd's adjustments is most delightful and palate pleasing to us; we thank you! James consumed this taste using a 900 mah 510 battery and his newly acquired Vivi Nova Mini.
The Stark Winter elixir, has also had time to steep, and I find myself believing that their is some butterscotch flavor there. The deep rich tobacco flavor is still there but slightly subdued and the menthol quality remains at bay --subtle and pleasing, an after thought upon an exhale; overall a delicious and satisfying tobacco vape that we will continue to give an ongoing review as we sample and ponder what other layers of flavor are found therein. Perhaps Vapeland's Rev67 can expound further on his views regarding this.
One of the other packages, retrieved by James.."(the orb is showing old hands, one adorned by a diamond pinky ring, opening a package that matches yardbyrd's description)"...contained new adapators, new batteries and a new battery charger. What ho? What could these items be for?"
The orb is showing those same old hands. There is a third package being slowly opened...it reveals.....
"I am very pleased and happy to say that this third package contained our SSGGTS #3163 acquired through the classified ads of this forum! Irony abounds in the fact that all three of these packages arrived at the same time today! James is still mastering this new and amazing device and we will report later our experiences with it; forgive our inexperience but we are in uncharted waters and having prepared for our journey begin with a meek and easy voyage. Many thanks to our Hill Giant who is lending his expertise regarding it and still offers his gracious further help and input; thank you humoungous one! Perhaps we will become more seaworthy later. With the permission of our patron let there be feasting and celebration! Vapeland should be encouraged that this old byrd's, and his aged assistant's, months of saving, and determination to acquire this fine object have been met with fruition; if we can do it so can others! We will report -later- on the new flavors we received today and our impression, experience, and use of this wondrous new device. There is also a new quest for an additional, amazing, updated avatar that is being assisted by our gracious ms. morri."
The sound of marching feet is heard and the columns of footmen, less James, retreat. James pulls up his spear from the ground and holding it aloft in his right hand, like a javelin, he runs toward the horizon and as he hurls the spear. but he doesn't release it, flying magically away he vanishes into the horizon a glin of sunlight reflecting off his chainmail shirt.
"Alas I must retreat as well... but not before offering an old byrd's apologies for this lengthy discourse. I dwindle, here before you, as I pay tribute to you all and a fine Shakespearean actor. I also offer apologies to William Shakespeare and King Richard II." Yardbyrd bows graciously and his attire is gone. His perch is plain, brown wood, a bevelled edge facing you. The perch is rotating slowly around; yardbyrd is stiff spined upon it, his wings tight at his sides, his head held straight up, beak pointing to the heavens, as if he is standing at attention or giving a salute. He slowly turns to dots as if he was stippled upon the very air of Vapeland. The dots slowly dissapear, as these words are heard, the last tiny sphere, deep royal blue, and much like a bluebery, fades slowly with the words...
Yardbyrd's voice suddenly sounds very similar to Patrick Stewart's
"This royal perch of byrds, this sceptred isle,
This earth of majesty, this seat of Mars,
This other Eden, demi-paradise,
This fortress built by Nature for herself
Against infection and the hand of war,
This happy breed of men, this little world,
This precious stone set in the silver sea of cyberspace,
Which serves it in the office of a wall
Or as a moat defensive to a house,
Against the envy of less happier lands,
this joyous spread and mystical of threads,
—This blessed plot...this earth....this realm.....this Vapeland."
- Liberties have been taken with William Shakespeare's Richard II Act ii. Sc. 1.
