- = ~ DISCLAIMER: I did not write this, and i take no claim in doing so. I am merely bringing back around a great written sense of humor so as everyone can laugh again and remember the days of olde and if you have not done so, please read part one ~ = -
And Linus and the Web begat the Kernel through Unix. The Kernel, the
Libraries and the Utilities together are the Distribution, the one Penguin
in many forms, forever and ever praised.
Now in those days there was in the land of Helsinki a young scholar named
Linus the Torvald. Linus was a devout man, a disciple of RMS and mighty in
the spirit of Turing, von Neumann and Moore. One day as he was meditating
on the Architecture, Linus fell into a trance and was granted a vision. And
in the vision he saw a great Penguin, serene and well-favoured, sitting
upon an ice floe eating fish. And at the sight of the Penguin Linus was
deeply afraid, and he cried unto the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and
Moore for an interpretation of the dream.
And in the dream the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and Moore answered and
spoke unto him, saying, "Fear not, Linus, most beloved hacker. You are
exceedingly cool and froody. The great Penguin which you see is an
Operating System which you shall create and deploy unto the earth. The
ice-floe is the earth and all the systems thereof, upon which the Penguin
shall rest and rejoice at the completion of its task. And the fish on which
the Penguin feeds are the crufty Licensed codebases which swim beneath all
the earth's systems. The Penguin shall hunt and devour all that is crufty,
gnarly and bodacious; all code which wriggles like spaghetti, or is
infested with blighting creatures, or is bound by grave and perilous
Licences shall it capture. And in capturing shall it replicate, and in
replicating shall it document, and in documentation shall it bring freedom,
serenity and most cool froodiness to the earth and all who code therein."
Linus rose from meditation and created a tiny Operating System Kernel as
the dream had foreshewn him; in the manner of RMS, he released the Kernel
unto the World Wide Web for all to take and behold. And in the fulness of
Internet Time the Kernel grew and replicated, becoming most cool and
exceedingly froody, until at last it was recognised as indeed a great and
mighty Penguin, whose name was Tux. And the followers of Linus took refuge
in the Kernel, the Libraries and the Utilities; they installed Distribution
after Distribution, and made sacrifice unto the GNU and the Penguin, and
gave thanks to the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and Moore, for their
deliverance from the hand of Microsoft. And this was the beginning of the
Fourth Age, the age of Open Source.
Now there is much more to be said about the exceeding strange and wonderful
events of those days; how some Suits of Microsoft plotted war upon the
Penguin, but were discovered on a Halloween Eve; how Gates fell among
lawyers and was betrayed and crucified by his former friends, the apostles
of Media; how the mercenary Knights of the Red Hat brought the gospel of
the Penguin into the halls of the Corporations; and even of the dispute
between the brethren of Gnome and KDE over a trollish Licence. But all
these things are recorded elsewhere, in the Books of the Deeds of the
Penguin and the Chronicles of the Fourth Age, and I suppose if they were
all narrated they would fill a stack of DVDs as deep and perilous as a
Usenet Newsgroup.
Now may you code in the power of the Source; may the Kernel, the Libraries
and the Utilities be with you, throughout all Distributions, until the end
of the Epoch. Amen.
And Linus and the Web begat the Kernel through Unix. The Kernel, the
Libraries and the Utilities together are the Distribution, the one Penguin
in many forms, forever and ever praised.
Now in those days there was in the land of Helsinki a young scholar named
Linus the Torvald. Linus was a devout man, a disciple of RMS and mighty in
the spirit of Turing, von Neumann and Moore. One day as he was meditating
on the Architecture, Linus fell into a trance and was granted a vision. And
in the vision he saw a great Penguin, serene and well-favoured, sitting
upon an ice floe eating fish. And at the sight of the Penguin Linus was
deeply afraid, and he cried unto the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and
Moore for an interpretation of the dream.
And in the dream the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and Moore answered and
spoke unto him, saying, "Fear not, Linus, most beloved hacker. You are
exceedingly cool and froody. The great Penguin which you see is an
Operating System which you shall create and deploy unto the earth. The
ice-floe is the earth and all the systems thereof, upon which the Penguin
shall rest and rejoice at the completion of its task. And the fish on which
the Penguin feeds are the crufty Licensed codebases which swim beneath all
the earth's systems. The Penguin shall hunt and devour all that is crufty,
gnarly and bodacious; all code which wriggles like spaghetti, or is
infested with blighting creatures, or is bound by grave and perilous
Licences shall it capture. And in capturing shall it replicate, and in
replicating shall it document, and in documentation shall it bring freedom,
serenity and most cool froodiness to the earth and all who code therein."
Linus rose from meditation and created a tiny Operating System Kernel as
the dream had foreshewn him; in the manner of RMS, he released the Kernel
unto the World Wide Web for all to take and behold. And in the fulness of
Internet Time the Kernel grew and replicated, becoming most cool and
exceedingly froody, until at last it was recognised as indeed a great and
mighty Penguin, whose name was Tux. And the followers of Linus took refuge
in the Kernel, the Libraries and the Utilities; they installed Distribution
after Distribution, and made sacrifice unto the GNU and the Penguin, and
gave thanks to the spirits of Turing, von Neumann and Moore, for their
deliverance from the hand of Microsoft. And this was the beginning of the
Fourth Age, the age of Open Source.
Now there is much more to be said about the exceeding strange and wonderful
events of those days; how some Suits of Microsoft plotted war upon the
Penguin, but were discovered on a Halloween Eve; how Gates fell among
lawyers and was betrayed and crucified by his former friends, the apostles
of Media; how the mercenary Knights of the Red Hat brought the gospel of
the Penguin into the halls of the Corporations; and even of the dispute
between the brethren of Gnome and KDE over a trollish Licence. But all
these things are recorded elsewhere, in the Books of the Deeds of the
Penguin and the Chronicles of the Fourth Age, and I suppose if they were
all narrated they would fill a stack of DVDs as deep and perilous as a
Usenet Newsgroup.
Now may you code in the power of the Source; may the Kernel, the Libraries
and the Utilities be with you, throughout all Distributions, until the end
of the Epoch. Amen.
