Through the magic of technology, I managed to intercept this fascinating and strange blog entry from the future:
Now that it’s 2022 (and thank Pingo for that, eh?), and the world has finally come around to fully understanding the difference between the ‘tobacco cigarette’ of yesteryear and a telescopic magneto-graviton 23y90 quad-control Stance with uni-con and time-shift, I finally feel comfortable enough to take this opportunity to share an experience I had many years ago.
As a boy I wandered into one of those old movie houses downtown, where there was a ‘Film Noir’ Film Festival. Film Noir refers to a group of films made after the Second World War which were not in color, and very dark in tone and subject. Slow-paced and often surreal, but very interesting and affective; and especially striking, visually.
The films in the festival were unique and fascinating but it was hard to get through them at first, because everyone on the screen was actually smoking analog cigarettes! For the first three or four films in the collection, everyone in the theater, myself included, sank into their seats as they were overwhelmed with horror and shame. The audience became numb to it after a while, but it’s no wonder nobody talks about these movies anymore. I think that’s a terrible injustice, to be honest. These were some remarkably good movies, and I think everyone is really missing out; but the laws left over from before the Vape-Rise would make showing these films a crime, even on-line.
With that in mind, I’d like to propose a modest and relatively inexpensive solution: That the wonderful movies of Film Noir be restored and made accessible to the audiences of today by digitally inserting vaporizers in the place of analog cigarettes whenever they appear. Then, people of all ages could watch these films and not be confused or want to try an actual analog just because Humphry Bogard or Lara Bacall had one; it would just look like any normal vaping you’d see at the library on a Sunday afternoon.
My company has applied for licensure to this end, which would allow us government approved access to tobacco-related materials, which includes all but two of the films widely considered by historians to belong in this genre. From there it is only a small step to add the vapes to every scene, making the films permanently safe for everyone to enjoy.
If you’re interested in distribution rights, please contact me by saying ‘Ah, Finicky Cats!’ into your web device’s microphone, which will directly connect you to my secretary.
President J. Kareber
Kareber-Media, LLC
Now that it’s 2022 (and thank Pingo for that, eh?), and the world has finally come around to fully understanding the difference between the ‘tobacco cigarette’ of yesteryear and a telescopic magneto-graviton 23y90 quad-control Stance with uni-con and time-shift, I finally feel comfortable enough to take this opportunity to share an experience I had many years ago.
As a boy I wandered into one of those old movie houses downtown, where there was a ‘Film Noir’ Film Festival. Film Noir refers to a group of films made after the Second World War which were not in color, and very dark in tone and subject. Slow-paced and often surreal, but very interesting and affective; and especially striking, visually.
The films in the festival were unique and fascinating but it was hard to get through them at first, because everyone on the screen was actually smoking analog cigarettes! For the first three or four films in the collection, everyone in the theater, myself included, sank into their seats as they were overwhelmed with horror and shame. The audience became numb to it after a while, but it’s no wonder nobody talks about these movies anymore. I think that’s a terrible injustice, to be honest. These were some remarkably good movies, and I think everyone is really missing out; but the laws left over from before the Vape-Rise would make showing these films a crime, even on-line.
With that in mind, I’d like to propose a modest and relatively inexpensive solution: That the wonderful movies of Film Noir be restored and made accessible to the audiences of today by digitally inserting vaporizers in the place of analog cigarettes whenever they appear. Then, people of all ages could watch these films and not be confused or want to try an actual analog just because Humphry Bogard or Lara Bacall had one; it would just look like any normal vaping you’d see at the library on a Sunday afternoon.
My company has applied for licensure to this end, which would allow us government approved access to tobacco-related materials, which includes all but two of the films widely considered by historians to belong in this genre. From there it is only a small step to add the vapes to every scene, making the films permanently safe for everyone to enjoy.
If you’re interested in distribution rights, please contact me by saying ‘Ah, Finicky Cats!’ into your web device’s microphone, which will directly connect you to my secretary.
President J. Kareber
Kareber-Media, LLC
