I'd have to vote for the running it by a lawyer. In the meantime here's a universal disclaimer that will cover you for everything, and I do mean everything.
DISCLAIMER: Avoid contact with eyes and skin. Avoid contact with mucous membranes. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Contents may settle during shipment. If a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use and consult your magic eight-ball. Action figures sold separately. Add toner. All models over 18 years of age. All rights reserved. Allow four to six weeks, for delivery. An equal opportunity employer. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental. Apply only to affected area. Approved for veterans. As seen on TV. At participating locations only.
batteries not included. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Beware of dog. Pictures are slightly enlarged to show detail. Booths for two or more. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement.
Cache and carry. Call toll free number before digging. Caveat emptor. Check here if tax deductible. Close cover before striking. Code used in this software was made from 100% recycled electrons. Colors may fade. Constantly volatile when exposed to static pointers. Contest ends 31-Dec-2010. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show.
Disclaimer does not cover accident, alien attack, attempted modification, attempting to actually run the software, broken antenna or marred cabinet, broken glass, bugs in the code, cosmic rays, customer adjustments that are not covered in the joke list, damage from improper installation, damage from improper reading, dropping the item, earthquake, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, falling rocks, flood, flying squirrels, forest fire, house arrest, hurricane, improper or unauthorized reading, incidents owing to an airplane crash, incidents related to all types of accidents, incorrect line voltage, leaky roof, lightning, missing or altered serial numbers, misuse, motor vehicle accidents, mud slides, neglect, other Acts of Bob, other Acts of God, projectiles (which can include, but not be limited to, arrows, bullets, shot, BB's, shrapnel, lasers, napalm, torpedoes, or emissions of X-rays, Alpha, Beta and Gamma rays, knives, stones, etc.), repair, ship sinking or taking on water, sonic boom vibrations, tornado, tsunami, unauthorized repair, verbal assaults, volcanic eruption.
Do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. Do not disturb. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit. Do not remove this disclaimer under penalty of law. Do not stamp. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Do not write below this line. Documents are provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied. Don't quote me on anything. Don't quote me on that. Driver does not carry cash. Drop in any mailbox.
Edited for television. Employees and their families are not eligible. EXTERN use only.
Falling rock. First pull up, then pull down. For a limited time only. For off-road use only. For office use only. For recreational use only. Free software offer valid only at participating FTP sites.
Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Hard hat area.
If any defects are discovered, do not attempt to read them yourself, but return to an authorized service center. If condition persists, consult your physician. If ingested, do not induce vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. If symptoms persist, delete yourself immediately. If this software begins to smoke, then run, do not walk, towards the nearest exit. If you suspect an overloaded operator, destroy immediately. Instructions are included.
Keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling (fumes). Keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children. Keep cool; process promptly.
Limit one per family. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. List at least two alternate dates. List each check separately by bank number. List was current at time of printing. Lost ticket pays maximum rate.
Many suitcases look alike. May be too intense for some viewers. May cause drowsiness, alcohol may intensify this effect. Message is provided "as is" without any warranties. Message remains the property of the Bank and must be returned on request. Motor vehicles only. Must be 18 to enter. Must be 18 to read.
No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. No animals were harmed in the production of these documents. No animals were used to test the runtime performance of this software. No Canadian coins. No extra salt, MSG, artificial colour or flavouring added. No money down. No one under 17 admitted. No other warranty expressed or implied. No Parking. No passes accepted for this engagement. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. No preservatives added. No purchase necessary. No shirt, no shoes, no software, no message, no service, no kidding. No solicitors. No Spitting. No Standing. No substitutions allowed. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. No user-serviceable parts inside. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Not liable for damages due to use or misuse or inability to understand. Not recommended for children. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Not the Beatles.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear. Offer good for a limited time only. Offer valid only at participating sites. One size fits all. Other copyright laws for specific entries apply wherever noted. Other restrictions may apply.
Package sold by weight, not volume. Parental advisory - explicit lyrics. Parental Care Advisory - explicit source code. Penalty for private use. Place stamp here. Please remain seated until the ride has come to a complete stop. Possible penalties for early withdrawal. Post no Bills. Post office will not deliver without postage. Postage will be paid by addressee. Prerecorded for this time zone. Preservatives added to improve freshness. Price does not include taxes. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Prosecutors will be violated.
Quality may vary. Quantities are limited while supplies last.
Read at your own risk. Read with food. Reader assumes full responsibility. Reading is addictive. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Refrigerate after opening. Reheat if eaten before date on carton. Replace with same type. Reproduction strictly prohibited. Restaurant package, not for resale. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Ribbed for your pleasure.
Safety goggles may be required during use. Safety goggles must be worn at all times. Sanitized for your protection. Sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken. See label for sequence. Shading within a garment may occur. Sign here without admitting guilt. Simulated picture. Since software is hand-crafted, there will be slight differences in each object. Slightly enlarged to show detail. Slightly higher outside of the continental US - and Ireland. Slightly higher west of the Rockies. Slippery when wet. Smoking this message, or this software, could be hazardous to your health. Some assembly and C++ required. Some equipment shown is optional. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Store in a cool dry place. Subject to change without notice. Subject to FCC approval. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
Take a number please. Text may contain explicit materials some readers may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Text used in these documents is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles. The best safeguard, second only to abstinence, is the use of a good laugh. The white zone is for passenger loading and unloading only. These documents do not reflect the thoughts or opinions of either myself, my company, my friends, or my rabbit. This message, or offer, is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This product is meant for educational purposes only. This program and documentation reflects the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and body odor of myself; it does not reflect the thoughts, opinions, ideas, and/or body odor of my company, my friend(s), my wife, my husband, my son(s), my daughter(s), my fish(es), my rose(s), my dog(s), my hamster(s), or my trash. This software is a void pointer to null where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted. This software is subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Type hard, you are making five copies.
Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Use caution when operating a car or dangerous machinery. Use of this message is governed by the terms and conditions of the Bank and Messageholder Agreement received by the Messageholder. Use only as directed. Use only with proper ventilation. Use other side for additional listings. User assumes full liabilities.
Void where prohibited.
We have sent the forms which seem right for you.
You are not in Kansas any more. You do not need to be present to win. You may distribute this message freely but you may not make a profit from it. You must be present to win. Your canceled check is your receipt. Your mileage may vary.
This supersedes all previous disclaimers.
