Haloween Contest
- Thread starter Rockin Randle
- Start date
- th_trl_thread_readers 0
- Status
a brief reminder on "The History of All Hallow's Eve", or:
"Why my roadtrip with Nipsey Russell ended in Vermicide"
"Halloween, or All Hallow's Eve, the day before Hallowed Day or All Saints Day (In Latin America it is Dia de Los Muertos, which translated means something like free pork rinds and beer...i dunno..i dont speak french or whatever they're gobbledy .... they speak).
The original premise, was that people would dress up as scary monsters to drive away evil demons and spirits so that the following day, All Saints Day, would be free of evil for remembrance and worship of loved ones passed on.
I know this because a coworker refused to celebrate Halloween because it was Satanic....i explained how she is a terribad Christian...she cried....then i cried because i'm a sympathetic crier....then i went home and ate hot dogs for dinner. i remember because i eat hot dogs for dinner a lot. they are delishus.
back to the original point:
and that's where socks go when they disappear from the clothes drier.
the end. "
and
"Today is All Saints Day, or the second day of Hallowed Mass (the third, lesser known holiday name is Tito Jackson..erm..i mean All Souls Day on Nov. 2nd).
In Mexico, it is the first day of Dias de Los Meurtos, loosely translated means free Baloney and Cheese to all, specifically it is the Dia de Los Inocentes that specifically honors infants and children that passed before their time.
It all began on a cold night many years ago, when cavemen rode dinosaurs into battles with ancient Egyptians and their alien spaceships. Pope Boniface IV (who was actually the second Boniface, but math wasnt invented yet so they just picked random numbers) was consecrated and a feast held to honor the saintly spirits that had passed on before.
Coincidentally, The Celts, having just discovered whiskey and deciding to become the Irish, we're celebrating their own holiday of Samhain during the festival of Lemuria. But for them, it was merely a fall harvest as they didnt care about dead people.
Eventually, everyone got together and said "this is way to confusing, how about you celebrate it our way or we'll storm your cities and make you!" and thus so it did pass that through peaceful violence and the losers agreeing to die as they resisted they all decided to just call it All Saints Day or All Hallows Day and do it the way The Christians wanted to do it, mostly because they had bigger swords and machine guns and the Celts had rocks and red-headed women.
Of course once candy was invented, people stopped caring and only celebrated the first day of the festival: All Hallows Eve or Halloween. I think the traditional gift on All Saints Day is something terrible, like mayonnaise and the costume is a full bodied potato sack. So it really didnt stand a chance against a candy and scantily clad sexy nurse filled day like Halloween.
The moral of the story? If you feed broccoli to your dog, the room aint gunna smell good.
Here endeth the lesson "
"Why my roadtrip with Nipsey Russell ended in Vermicide"
"Halloween, or All Hallow's Eve, the day before Hallowed Day or All Saints Day (In Latin America it is Dia de Los Muertos, which translated means something like free pork rinds and beer...i dunno..i dont speak french or whatever they're gobbledy .... they speak).
The original premise, was that people would dress up as scary monsters to drive away evil demons and spirits so that the following day, All Saints Day, would be free of evil for remembrance and worship of loved ones passed on.
I know this because a coworker refused to celebrate Halloween because it was Satanic....i explained how she is a terribad Christian...she cried....then i cried because i'm a sympathetic crier....then i went home and ate hot dogs for dinner. i remember because i eat hot dogs for dinner a lot. they are delishus.
back to the original point:
and that's where socks go when they disappear from the clothes drier.
the end. "
and
"Today is All Saints Day, or the second day of Hallowed Mass (the third, lesser known holiday name is Tito Jackson..erm..i mean All Souls Day on Nov. 2nd).
In Mexico, it is the first day of Dias de Los Meurtos, loosely translated means free Baloney and Cheese to all, specifically it is the Dia de Los Inocentes that specifically honors infants and children that passed before their time.
It all began on a cold night many years ago, when cavemen rode dinosaurs into battles with ancient Egyptians and their alien spaceships. Pope Boniface IV (who was actually the second Boniface, but math wasnt invented yet so they just picked random numbers) was consecrated and a feast held to honor the saintly spirits that had passed on before.
Coincidentally, The Celts, having just discovered whiskey and deciding to become the Irish, we're celebrating their own holiday of Samhain during the festival of Lemuria. But for them, it was merely a fall harvest as they didnt care about dead people.
Eventually, everyone got together and said "this is way to confusing, how about you celebrate it our way or we'll storm your cities and make you!" and thus so it did pass that through peaceful violence and the losers agreeing to die as they resisted they all decided to just call it All Saints Day or All Hallows Day and do it the way The Christians wanted to do it, mostly because they had bigger swords and machine guns and the Celts had rocks and red-headed women.
Of course once candy was invented, people stopped caring and only celebrated the first day of the festival: All Hallows Eve or Halloween. I think the traditional gift on All Saints Day is something terrible, like mayonnaise and the costume is a full bodied potato sack. So it really didnt stand a chance against a candy and scantily clad sexy nurse filled day like Halloween.
The moral of the story? If you feed broccoli to your dog, the room aint gunna smell good.
Here endeth the lesson "
awwww, shucks
primitive cultures have used the roundness of my bum to calculate pi. and pie....so win/win!
interesting wheezal. I was wondering aboot the history of halloween, saves me opening wikipedia.
I have heard some extreme christians are against halloween, what's his name, pat robertson? he's against it.
when I was growing up in au, we didn't take much notice of it. but with the invention of the simpsons halloween specials in recent years, it has become more popular. to most australians, it's a bit of fun with dressing up in scary costumes and trick or treating for the kids, we have no idea about the history. it's summer here for a start.
I have heard some extreme christians are against halloween, what's his name, pat robertson? he's against it.
when I was growing up in au, we didn't take much notice of it. but with the invention of the simpsons halloween specials in recent years, it has become more popular. to most australians, it's a bit of fun with dressing up in scary costumes and trick or treating for the kids, we have no idea about the history. it's summer here for a start.
pffft, wikipedia is for chumps. i use an infallible resource, one of teh voices in my head was an oracle in ancient Greece, like, over 50 years ago!
other than Super Bowl picks, World Series picks, best one-liners to use on wimmenz, which antibiotics work against which infections, any form of base 10 math, spielling, remembering peeples names, what day it is, what year it is, the average airspeed of an african swallow, if a duck weighs as much as a witch, which side of the road is the right one to drive on, any form of Cartesian navigation, and how much wood that woodchucks can in fact chuck; he is nevar wrong!
other than Super Bowl picks, World Series picks, best one-liners to use on wimmenz, which antibiotics work against which infections, any form of base 10 math, spielling, remembering peeples names, what day it is, what year it is, the average airspeed of an african swallow, if a duck weighs as much as a witch, which side of the road is the right one to drive on, any form of Cartesian navigation, and how much wood that woodchucks can in fact chuck; he is nevar wrong!
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
