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Hubands, children, and ex-husbands wife...

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Fudgey

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What do they all have in common? They are driving me crazy:-x
My 18 year old son has no job, no ambition, and sometimes no respect and he is extremely lazy! He does have a high school diploma, or will have one next Thursday. When he graduates he wants to move out and get a place with a friend, thats great! Slight problem he doesn't have a JOB!!! I keep telling him he cannot get an apartment without a job, he's like "i know" but he's not doing anything about it. :evil:This is really making my husband mad, so mad that as soon as he graduates the gloves will come off and hubby will stop playing nice. I am already stressing about after graduation, what happens if they get into an argument and he tells my son to leave? What do I do? Part of me thinks tough love might be the only way to get him to grow up but he's my baby! Sons dad is not really in the picture, he has been in Bagdad driving a truck for 5 yrs making lots of money for his high maintainance wife! That brings me to the ex-husbands wife. This is the last month of child support, as of yesterday I still had not received a check so I called her. Gee must have got lost in the mail, I will bring you a check by your office tomorrow. She came by left the check with the receptionist to give to me, CHICKEN. I take it look at it and start screaming in my head :censored:! She has only written the check for a patrial amount of the cs, on the memo line it says "pro-rated to date of graduation" You have got to be kidding right!! Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? I called my lawyer and he said that he had never heard of that and that it was damn petty and it would cost me what they didn't pay, to get what they didn't pay, it is almost worth it though!

Thanks for letting me rant and rant and rant. My hubby was tired of listening to me...lol.
 

HzG8rGrl

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So glad you have 2 of the 3 out of your hair now! Your son will find his way in his own time. I say this because I went through something similar with one of my kids. It took her a little longer and I had to apply some tough love.
Yes, it meant some days and nights of crying myself to sleep while she just went on with daily activities with no clue of what I went through. It was an eye opener in the end for her. She has now apologised for the hurt and I have done the same for my anger.
The most important thing I found out was to keep the communication flowing. Always answer the phone when she called. If there was a true emergency, to be there. Sometimes what they think is an emergency, isn't. We have to filter through those moments.Explain in complete detail why you can't give them money. And invite them over for dinner anytime.
Always tell them you love them. Even after the heated moments.
Good Luck and hang in there.
 

Mary Kay

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18th Birthday is what mine said..not graduation.

Glad you are out from under the ex and wife. I suggest son go live with them for a while ..just until he gets a job you understand! LOL Payback.:D

I did that to my ex when he got mouthy with me..o.k. you can do it better.you do it. The kids pleaded with me not to send them (they were in high school) Until I explained it was just an object lesson for dad..I would never let them go anywhere! The ex all but cried..he knew his wifey couldn't deal with teens. End of his nonsense.

Hubby can take the hard line..back him up! Son needs to get real or get used to the shelter.
 

Fudgey

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Thank you all so much, I needed unbaised opinions. I would love to send him to live wih his dad but he will be in Bagdad until Dec. I would not want my worst enemy to live with his step mother, she is the definition of "evil step mother" My daughter tried living with her for about a month and got woke up one morning and was told she had to leave right then. Just because she called into work because of a migraine, which she has suffered from since she was 11. I am sure my daughter did more than that. This women is physco!!
Here in OK the guidelines are 18 or graduated which ever is the later.
I think the boy is going to be getting used to sleeping in his car. It makes his sister mad to so he won't be living with her either.
 

rfun6

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my son is the same way. Had a job and lost it, now sits upstairs playing xbox and not even trying to look for another job. He is older tho. I say it's time for him to live in the real life/world. Might have to kick him out with no where to go and no way of going, since he doesn't even pay for his car. We have to pay for it. I keep telling his father if he doesn't buckle down and find a job, it will just be harder life for him later on. We are making it worse on him by not forcing him to be responsible.
 

Happy Domino38

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Thank GOD MY husbands ex-wife died last year. I know that sounds harsh, but she was pure, undiluted EVIL. I got GAS for the CAR one night after dropping a friend off downtown. No where NEAR my house OR hers, 'kay? I get home and there's a FIVE MINUTE message on OUR machine telling HIM that if she ever sees me 'stalking' her again, she'll blow my face off to my neck.

Know what the cops said? NOTHING. Yeah, she was a REAL sweetheart. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person..:nah:
 

Happy Domino38

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Keep in mind too Fudge Monkey, that, at 18 he probably DOESN'T know what he wants to do with his life..he NEEDS to get a job though, but you never know what's going to get his attention in the future..you could end up being VERY proud of him when he's a MAN..right now, despite what he tells you, he's still a BOY. Hang in there girlfriend!
 

Fudgey

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Thank GOD MY husbands ex-wife died last year. I know that sounds harsh, but she was pure, undiluted EVIL. I got GAS for the CAR one night after dropping a friend off downtown. No where NEAR my house OR hers, 'kay? I get home and there's a FIVE MINUTE message on OUR machine telling HIM that if she ever sees me 'stalking' her again, she'll blow my face off to my neck.

Know what the cops said? NOTHING. Yeah, she was a REAL sweetheart. Couldn't have happened to a nicer person..:nah:

:toast: You got lucky then huh....LOL

I am going to have to handuff my daughter to me at graduation cuz she has warned us that if she sees the "ya know" she will be on her in a second.
I know my son will find something one of these days. It is not helping right now that he just had a huge falling out with his best friend, 3 days before grad....:(
 

Happy Domino38

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:toast: You got lucky then huh....LOL

YOU'RE DAMN SKIPPY WE DID!!! :w00t:

Although, we're all sitting around last night and our 6 year old asks Brian why he never had children before, (even though she asks the same thing at least once a week..), and he came back with HIS normal response that he wasn't with anyone he would have WANTED to have children with.

Right then, the picture ON THE STAIRS, which was nowhere NEAR where we were, literally JUMPED off the wall and SMASHED to pieces...:ohmy:
 

Fudgey

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:shock: You better watch out she's coming back to get you!!!
The large evil woman I don't have do deal with any more will not go away until the ex comes home from Bagdad and realizes she has spent all of his money, I am going to laugh cuz he won't have anything or anyone because of her!!! Geez that just sounds really bad of me.
 
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