I think it was Robert Heinlein who wrote a quote that I love. One of his female characters says "I always do what my husband tells me to. I just make sure he never tells me to do anything I wasn't already planning to do in the first place." It's also good in reverse...just have to make them think that what we want them to do was their idea in the first place.
BTW, Heinlein wrote some great female characters, if you like sci-fi at all his books are awesome!