I found analogs in my teenagers room

[vapi]

I was searching my teenagers room for contraband and I found analogs. She wasn't trying to hide them either. So this is my dilemma, should I ask her to vape if and when she feels the urge? I would give her 0mg nicotine because she's already is jumpy and can't sleep. I don't think she is addicted because it was only 2 pads and they weren't even smoked all the way down. Looked like a couple hits and then she put it out. I know if she keeps it up she will definitely become addicted and she isn't shy about saying how much she likes to do it already.

What would you do if you were me? She is only 16 1/2.

 

[ropetrick]

Having more or less gone through this already, I can tell you that "only 16 1/2" might already be too late for laying down the law and all that. At this point, I believe the parent's job is to be supportive and protective. You situation might vary.

What I would do: offer the alternative of a PV, probably even offer to pay for it (zero nic juice only). Then I'd outright ban smoking OR vaping in my home, even in her room. Neither is a habit you should fully support, after all. You're just providing alternatives. I suspect that whether the vaping would take relies wholly on whether it's socially acceptable among her friends, but it might very well provide her a comfortable means of opting out of smoking analogs among friends.

The fact that you were searching for contraband to begin with suggests to me that there might be other issues at work, and I'd urge you, no matter what, to not take a stance that closes lines of communication with her more than they already might be. Of course, YMMV.

 

[uba egar320]

I was searching my teenagers room for contraband and I found analogs. She wasn't trying to hide them either. So this is my dilemma, should I ask her to vape if and when she feels the urge? I would give her 0mg nicotine because she's already is jumpy and can't sleep. I don't think she is addicted because it was only 2 pads and they weren't even smoked all the way down. Looked like a couple hits and then she put it out. I know if she keeps it up she will definitely become addicted and she isn't shy about saying how much she likes to do it already.

What would you do if you were me? She is only 16 1/2.

To heck with a compromise. That is your house! Law down the law. Be crazy. She'll thank you in a decade or two. I'd be less mad if I found out my little one had dabbled in W. Cigs are a way of life. You know, or you wouldn't be here. Break her of it while she's young. Take away phone, car, PC, tv. Do what you gotta do. As my drill instructor once told me,"You live on my island! Your ... belongs to me!!".

 

[vapi]

I suspect that whether the vaping would take relies wholly on whether it's socially acceptable among her friends, but it might very well provide her a comfortable means of opting out of smoking analogs among friends.

This is what concerns me the most, she only does it at home (outside), not with her friends. That's why there were so many butts, and her friends don't come over either. She said it was only 2 pads she's ever had and I found a whole pad worth of analogs and the other pad was barely touched. She's doing it alone and not trying to fit in or be social, she doesn't have many friends left anyway, next paragraph explains why.

The fact that you were searching for contraband to begin with suggests to me that there might be other issues at work, and I'd urge you, no matter what, to not take a stance that closes lines of communication with her more than they already might be. Of course, YMMV.

Unfortunately she isn't shy about admitting how much she likes more illegal things too, hence the room search. Luckily I didn't find anything other than analogs but this was after I laid down the law and she knows she has a monthly drug test she has to take, every month until she turns 18. There is a fairly serious consequence if her test comes back positive so she smokes analogs now

 

[vapi]

To heck with a compromise. That is your house! Law down the law. Be crazy. She'll thank you in a decade or two. I'd be less mad if I found out my little one had dabbled in W. Cigs are a way of life. You know, or you wouldn't be here. Break her of it while she's young. Take away phone, car, PC, tv. Do what you gotta do. As my drill instructor once told me,"You live on my island! Your ... belongs to me!!".

I've tried this too and the suicide prevention hotline recommended I take her to the nearest clinic for a mental evaluation. She's a live wire. Last time I turned off her txt was after she totaled her car txting, so she started cutting herself and I turned the txt back on. Teenage tantrums can be dangerous.

 

[toriL]

At 16 my mother decided that it was better to do it in front of her than behind her back. I wish she had went ape-.... nuts on me instead.

If this were my daughter, I would supply her with all the information about cigarettes/tobacco and the cancer causing chemicals they contain. I would pull together a whole packet of information with everything from asthma, copd, emphysema, lung cancer, birth defects, and so on..... I would sit with her and tell her my story, about my fight with this addiction and how hard it is to stop the longer you smoke.

Next, I would (because I love her that much) forbid her to smoke. I would outright ban it in my home, and I would punish her if caught again.

 

[catmman]

Gotta agree with uba on this one.

Lay down the law. If your being serious about any other drug use, there is no reason to not be as serious (maybe more so) with this.

At her age you're trying to break the cycle of addiction before it gets any worse. Giving her a PV, though indeed healthier, is simply re-enforcing her actions IMO. Not quite like giving methadone to a ...... addict, but close. Your simply re-enforcing the addiction, not really stopping it.

Good luck.

 

[catmman]

Also, if she is hurting herself, and the fact you mention a suicide prevention hotline at all tells me she needs other help. She's only 16, you can get her help even if she doesn't want it.

 

[uba egar320]

Hey, stuff happens. We all know. I wish now, looking back that me and my pals would have gotten caught with the illegal stuff. Some of them might be around now. When you are young, you just want to do grown up stuff. That is, until trouble strikes(pal od's and dies). Then you wish you were home with mommy. It's hard to convey that gut wrenching feeling to someone until they experience it. But then it's there with you forever.

I hope you two work something out somehow. I don't mean to come off like a hard .... Just had bad experiences with my buddies that kinda walked all over their parents. Not saying that is your case.

 

[toriL]

Giving in to your children because you are scared of them isn't helping them, it isn't helping you and it isn't helping society as a whole.

Unfortunately, it sounds like she's been using these behaviors to manipulate you for some time now. I'd get her into counseling - and you to learn how to deal with her in a more productive and healthy way.

just my .02 fwiw

 

[cipher]

I can't in all honesty give you a thumbs up or down on whether a total ban would be a good thing or not. Based on your posts, there is more going on than any of us know or understand. All I can recommend is to take a deeeeppp breath, figure out the most effective direction to take at this time. Ban? or offer a less destructive alternative? You'll have to take a look and decide at this time what would be best. I wish you well with this.

 

[WomanOfHeart]

You need to do more than lay down the law and go ape.... on her. She needs serious help and she needs it now. Her friends are not coming over any more, she admits that she's doing illegal things and you're doing room searches. These are sure signs of big trouble ahead and not just typical teenage rebellion or her trying to assert herself as an adult. I highly suggest seeking qualified professional help.

 

[Timtam]

Although we at ECF want everyone to switch from smoking to vaping, we cannot condone underage usage.