life thoughts

[tonyfalkon]

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with 'Guess' on it.
So I said 'Implants?' She hit me.​

 

[aziffel]

The correct answer is "about 7000$ ?"

 

[classwife]

Tony...what are we gonna do with you ?

What's really funny...is that just sounds like you ! ROFL !

 

[tonyfalkon]

Marriage changes passion.
Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.​

 

[tonyfalkon]

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.

 

[tonyfalkon]

How come we choose from just two people to run forpresident and over fifty for Miss America ?

 

[throatkick]

Pretty witty. Got any more?

 

[cos]

Laughter is the best medicine. way to go Tony

 

[tonyfalkon]

When I was young we used to go 'skinny dipping,' now I just 'chunky dunk.'

 

[throatkick]

chunky dunk....

 

[tonyfalkon]

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!

 

[heymichael]

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell
him is, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute
thing to tell him is, "Probably because of something you did."

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo,
flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a
beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful
painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk

If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying
forward into the future, it's probably best to avoid eye contact.


If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer,
I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.


Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out
it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like
a regular window.

For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip: why not add
a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness?