Hi Jiggs,
Oh, I feel your pain. I first tried ecigs when they were first available like, 10 years ago or whatever. It didn't work, went back to smoking, and tried multiple episodes of "dual use."
This time around it was slightly different. I really WANTED to quit, and I NEEDED to quit. The bottom line was, though, I did dual use at first, but I followed suggestions on this site. I vaped my brains out prior to smoking, and observed how unsatisfying it was. I felt bad every time I failed, but I DID NOT stop vaping, no matter what. When the first day came, it felt miraculous and wonderful, and I could hardly believe it.
There are some other things you can try. One might be ordering a bottle of ejuice that is specifically either made from Nic Salts, which are a slightly different type of nicotine. I can't really say anything about whether they're safer or not, but I do find them more satisfying, and when I make my own juices, that's the nicotine I use. I still enjoy other juices, but vastly prefer nic salts (I vape on a small MTL at around 18 mg nicotine....I find with nic salts that is high enough for me, and I don't vape more than I did otherwise.) Do know that's a different form of nicotine than what's in most commercially prepared juices.
WTA (whole tobacco alkaloids) is also an option. They are VERY pricy, but what I found vaping was I'd reach about 3 p.m. and feel like ants were crawling over my skin, and no amount of vaping would compensate for it. I would use a TINY amount of WTA, going later and later in the day, and I'm in the process of weaning off them... but they got me through the detox MAOI hump (cigarette alkaloids and in fact tar itself has psychoactive properties, so when you vape, you are detoxing from UNCOUNTABLE chemicals including tar.... it was hard for me as a heavy smoker to get over that.) They are PRICY, I certainly can't vouch for their vaping *safety* but it works for me... My goal with the WTA was to use it as a transition device. You can do yourself a favor by switching to additive free cigarettes, if you can do that, so you are not being "rewarded" by your usual chemical soup, though you're still going to get tar. But, that's one way to go. Try reducing the variables and transitioning slowllllly.... I did that, and I'm glad. When my WTA runs out I'm not buying more as it's SO expensive. But, you can do a search on WTA/Nic salts on here to see if you think it would help.
Other strategies-- look for things about vaping that you think might be fun-- for me it was DIY juice, to start. I plan to build coils later on down the line, but... I felt SO good when I made my first juice.
Reward yourself! When I hit close to a month I bought a bunch of vape equipment and supplies. I was like, "Okay, I'm committing to this." But reward yourself for an hour, for not smoking a cig first thing in the morning, for making it *one less cigarette* etc. Even though it seems silly, the self-reward works. I had to identify what kinds of things would even be "rewarding" to me, because I was so used to rewarding myself with cigarettes.
Also, I'd think it would be hard to quit smoking with a product that one's spouse isn't thrilled about. Maybe said spouse needs some vape information as far as health, or maybe said spouse needs to be ignored. It's totally hard to DO anything when a spouse is sending messages that are "Damned if you do, damned if you don't." You might tell your spouse that many here have "deescalated" their vaping over time, whether it's with types of juice, less chain-vaping (I vaped like a chimney to start, now I can go hours), or less nicotine eventually leading to 0 nicotine, then quitting. Not everyone does that, but some people do. Most people report stopping vaping is very much easier than quitting tobacco. That might be something to point out to spouse.
Forget about all the times you failed. I'm serious. I had to forget that I failed with vaping before many times and approach it as new-- it was new, as vaping has made a great deal of progress, and having a community here to blather at about my vaping wins or losses was SO helpful. As well as getting suggestions, and knowing that I was in a different place in my life, and I had different motivations. I could care less if vaping was MORE expensive than smoking as I FEEL so much better. I really was the kind of smoker who felt fairly helpless as far as "I guess I'm just going to die of whatever smoking related illness...." But I changed my attitude, and part of that would be support HERE, if your spouse is not being supportive.
I wish you all the luck in the world, I truly do. You CAN do it, invest in yourself and research stuff, and DO what you need to to quit. You can.
Anna
