Ok men. Get your note pads out and start taking notes.
After the last outbreak of unmanly sightings and behavior I have witnessed in the last week or so, I feel that it is necessary to give you men a refresher course on how to act and behave like the REAL MEN that we are!
(this is the part where you suddenly sit straight and put your shoulders back and chest out while looking around to make sure nobody noticed the sudden change in posture.)
Yesterday was my wife's burpday and in honor of this special occasion I prepared a hearty feast consisting mainly of BEEF
(you know... real food for real men! or sumthin like that) and some veggies to keep the women happy.
Take note of the cooking apparatus shown below men. This is called a GRILL.
(write that down) This is the ONLY type of cooking apparatus that we men should EVER use.
shoulders back and chest out again here
Sorry Matt, there are NO exceptions to this rule. You must quit your job and start looking for a construction job someplace immediately.
You should also take note of the manly man grill lighter setting on the front shelf of said grill. Diick's Sporting Goods store is truly mans best friend.
Ok.... Now for the Gift!
You will note in the photo below the handsome gift I presented to my wife last night. The proper manly man gift to give to your spouse should NEVER be jewelry or flowers as these type of gifts make you appear weak and sensitive which you must avoid at ALL times.
(write that down)
And if you follow all the proper protocols as outlined above, you too can have this luxurious bed room right there in front of your big screen TV in the living room!
Now shoulders back and chest out and repeat after me.
I AM A MANLY MAN!
And this concludes todays Manly Man message.
and yes... I really did give here a
shop Vac.