Pattin' myself on the back!!!! (this is long read--sorry)

[whatagem]

Hey y'all!
I just breezed thru the thread regarding how dead it is around here. Sorry 'bout that. Personally, I don't hang out on forums to socialize---i research and get info. I can't speak for anyone else though.

Thought I'd post this here because I think I may have alienated myself in some of the other forums! (Oh NO! Not HER again!!!!) Ha ha!

Hee's my story:
My entire family smokes. My husband's entire family smokes. I started smoking at the tender age of 15. I'd been smoking a year before my parents had any clue. My mom cried. She lost her dad when she was 12 to a sudden heart attack in the kitchen. When mom started smoking, her mother cried.

It wasn't until I was older that I understood all of this. My mother was diagnosed with COPD and emphysema. Then my father-in-law had a sudden heart attack in the living room at 4am. We later found out he had taken out special policies on himself for lung cancer/COPD. We never knew for sure if was sick & just hid it REALLY well.

As for myself, I've tried every OTC and RX drug known to mankind. I went to hypnosis semiars, I did cold laser therapy--twice. I read books and hung around QuitNet.com like a stalker. I even downloaded hypnosis to my MP3 player! I prayed every day, begging God to take this agony away. After a while, I stopped praying. I had believed God was not hearing me anymore. I decided I would just smoke until I died rather than go through constant withdrawel.


On the weekend, I could easily put away THREE packs of cigs in a day. On a work day, 2 to 2.5 packs. We could afford it because we ordered our ultra generic smokes from a company in New York--who in turn gets them from Guatemala, India, etc. At today's prices the smokes are less than $3 a pack. Oh sure--that makes it even easier to quit smoking ha ha

In April I ordered my 1st 901 starter kit. I loved it at first. Then I hated it because of all the hassle and whatnot. Recently, I got my hands on some liquid that really seemed to taste alright. I got 36mg based on the reccomendation of another on the forums.

I'm not sure why, but I began to use my 901 at work. Every time I felt like I wanted a cig and knowing break time was an hour away--I puffed away. Every time a co-worker made me angry, or some machine broke down or I had to do something gross--puff, puff.

Last week, I began to skip breaks. I'd even eat my little sandwich and be ok. Now, eating--even a few bites--has always caused me to leap in a panic for a smoke. Huh! I was fine. I;d forgotten I had eaten. Did I need a cig? Did I WANT a cig? Nope--I'm cool. I began to skip lunch.

I wasn't trying to quit. I wasn't trying to cut back. In the past, those actions had always made me, my husband, my pets, my co workers miserable! I didn't understand before when people around here would say they just "liked it" and never went back to cigs. That once they tried the e-cig, they had no desire to smoke. I didn't get it. I was SO frustrated and jealous of all those people!!!! I hated them all. Why was it working SO easliy for them and not for me??? Where's my miracle?

Here. It's right here. I went from 60 cigarettes per day to 10. In the last few days I have averaged 10 cigs per day. This is mostly after just waking up, eating supper (my big meal of the day), after--um, "relations" (ha ha) and those times when I REALLY feel like a cig. I don't fight it because I got to 10 a day by NOT fighting it.

I had thought all these years God was not hearing me, that maybe my voice was simply too small. I guess all this time God WAS hearing me, and answering by saying, "Not right now, but soon."




For now, it's really easy at work because duh, there's no smoking in the building. I keep 18mg bottles at my station and fill up with 24mg if I eat lunch. It's easy at home, but not as easy because I could smoke anytime, any where in the house. But I ask myself---Do I really, really want a smoke? I take a few puffs of my 36mg home bottle. If still decide I really want a cig, I have one. Most times I do not want or feel like I need a cig.

I've told a few people and am sadly, met with little praise. Whenever I've known someone to quit, I would put them on a pedastool and keep them there. I suppose these non-praisers are folks who are either jealous or really don't care because they themselves just don't wish to quit.

I'm not looking for praise. I just wanted to share my story. I too, was one of those who said I hate this e-cig thing! I don't understand why it isn't working for me!!!
Well, as far as I am concerned, this is better than winning millions in the lottery (though that wouldn't be a bad thing).

And you know something? My car smells REALLY REALLY BAD!!!

Thanks for listening y'all!

 

[newbutt]

Thanks for sharing & this is what this group is about.
E-cigs were a blessing for me because I hate the way cigarettes taste & smell. I agree that finding the right juice is the key. I have tried some brands that taste worse than the primer that comes on the attys (Why do they use that?) Once you find the quality juice & your flavor, it's dope. And that's the bad part. I enjoy it so much more than tobacco, I have to monitor myself.
I also agree that this new habit can sometimes be a hassle. Some of my friends look at me like I'm crazy when I show with all my stuff, charger, extra batts, extra juice,etc. I think you have to remind yourself, this is a different habit. It's a replacement habit & it takes total commitment to stop your old habit. I also believe, that the long term goal is to stop "using" all together. I really feel like I can put these away one day. I don't know when . . . . but I'm trying to cut back my mg's already. I have good days & bad days, just like tobacco. But my counter is accurate, I've had NO tobacco since June 5th. I'm so proud of myself, I don't need any one else to praise me

The only time I'm been tempted: I hang at this little bar that is run by a Russian woman, her 2 daughters & her "good ol' boy" boyfriend. Great people. Anyway, they got a case of Winstons from the Ukraine somehow & they smell so good, you want to eat 'em. I'm talking about unlit. I'll pick up their cigarette pack when I go in & just smmmmmmmmmell it. It's the way they smelled when I was a kid,nothing like American cigarettes today. But I won't smoke one, I just smell em, take a whack off my 510 & I'm good.
Cheers,
NB

 

[Lika]

Wow! This is exactly what we need. Stories like this in our group. We need each other guys!

@ whatagem:

Thanks so much for sharing. That was obviously straight from the heart and soul. Heck, I think you may have even brought a tear to my eye. That's a good thing

I am one of those that was able to start with ecigs and never touch a regular cig again. It's been since January 18th since I started vaping. There was one time a couple of months later that I was out of juice so I went to the store and bought a pack of analogs. I smoked and hated every minute of it. Thankfully that was only for a couple of days and then my juice came in. Since then I've learned my lesson and have made sure I have plenty of stock on hand.

Oh, and your car... I'm not sure if that ever goes away. I still smell in an old card that I sometimes drive. The thing is I've never smoked regular cigarettes in that car but it was my sister's car and her husband smoked in it. That was three years ago. I can't smell it in the fabric anymore. But for a couple of seconds when the A/C is turned on the smell almost kicks me out of the car.

@ newbutt:

I hear ya loud and clear and can relate to hating the taste and smell of tobacco cigs. I smoked Eclipse for years before I started vaping. Those are the carbon-tip cigs that just heat the tobacco instead of burning it. So I had already long ago started not liking the taste and smell of lit cigarettes.

But... Like you, real virgin tobacco smells damn good to me. American Spirit comes to mind. If I get a whiff of that stuff I just want to eat it, it smells so good. I do love the smell of good unlit tobacco. I remember when I first started smoking ages ago I'd take my Camel cig and slide it under my nose to get a whiff before actually lighting it up. That was in the good ol' days when they too smelled good.

 

[whatagem]

Sometimes I have a cig & it just tastes SO bad!! After meals it tastes OK. Only on one week or so of averaging a half a pack a day.....

It's so weird though; I can smell EVERYTHING and this is not always a good thing because I am a dry cleaner. Perfumes & sweaty .... smells are kickin' me in the face ALL day

I started a great thread way back on removing odors from the car because I can't just replace it like the comforter. I'll find that link in the morning....
Husband still smoking--not interested in quitting so for now I have to smell the house. Our bath towels reek of smoke & they're clean! This smelling everything is so new to me

Newbutt, I totally understand how tobacco smells good. I've always loved the smell of flavored cigras but I can't smoke 'em...I'd throw up like a 12 yr old. When my dad quit he said cigarette smell was neither good or bad--just a smell.

 

[Jennee26]

Good for you whatagem! Glad your 901 is finally working for ya!