Let's try to established facts here. Yes, many substances will not pass from placenta to fetus. Many do. Nicotine is one of them that does pass, both through the placenta and excretion into breast milk.
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Nicotine readily gains access to the fetal compartment via the placenta, with fetal concentrations generally 15% higher than maternal levels. The primary metabolite of nicotine, cotinine, has a half-life of 15 to 20 hours and serum concentrations that are 10-fold higher than nicotine; thus, cotinine provides a better index of nicotine exposure because of its longer half-life. Nicotine concentrates in fetal blood, amniotic fluid, and breastmilk. "
The maternal and fetal physiologic effects of nicotine. - PubMed - NCBI
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ndeed, during the first week of life, urinary cotinine levels in infants of smoking mothers who are exclusively breast-fed are significantly higher than those who are only bottle fed (fully breast-fed median 801 ng cotinine/mg creatinine [range 325–1693] vs. fully bottle fed median 65 ng cotinine/mg creatinine [range 28–101]; Schwartz-Bickenbach et al., 1987)."
https://academic.oup.com/toxsci/art.../Long-Term-Consequences-of-Fetal-and-Neonatal
NRT is generally regarded as preferable to smoking by physicians, and is frequently recommended by obstetricians in place of smoking if abstinence is not possible. Other form of non-cigarette smokeless tobacco use have been studied.
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As nicotine addiction is the factor preventing many women from smoking cessation during pregnancy, nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) has been suggested as a better alternative for the fetus"
Effects of Nicotine During Pregnancy: Human and Experimental Evidence
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Based on these U.S. Food and Drug Administration classifications, it is generally agreed that the risk to the fetus of continued smoking outweighs any potential adverse effects of NRT (Glynn et al., 2009; OMA, 2008). Furthermore, NRT is thought of as a safer alternative to smoking during pregnancy because the mother and fetus are exposed to one chemical instead of the thousands of chemicals found in cigarette smoke (Glynn et al., 2009; OMA, 2008)."
https://academic.oup.com/toxsci/art.../Long-Term-Consequences-of-Fetal-and-Neonatal
Despite the above, the article reviews quite a bit of data on nicotine safety in pregnancy and concludes
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Taken together with the vast literature on the long-term effects of developmental nicotine exposure in other animal models, these results have significant clinical implications and should be considered by health associations when making policy decisions about the safety of NRT use during pregnancy. Overall, the evidence provided in this review overwhelmingly indicates that nicotine should no longer be considered the “safe” component of cigarette smoke. In fact, many of the adverse postnatal health outcomes associated with maternal smoking during pregnancy may be attributable, at least in part, to nicotine alone."
So, working with real data, it is apparent that while nicotine in the form of NRT may seem preferable to smoking, it is not risk free. There is no free ride. Now, as to vaping and pregnancy, there's even less information. And vaping certainly does represent exposure to a greater number of chemicals than NRT, even with flavorless nic in PG/VG. It's the nature of the beast.
I would not presume to offer medical advice to anyone on a forum, let alone involving pregnancy. That person needs to reach an individual decision based on information provided by her obstetrician and whatever is gleaned from other, reliable sources (here ain't it). The risk to benefit of vaping vs. NRT vs. smoking as opposed to abstinence must be considered. If abstinence is not possible, a selection of the safest approach through pregnancy based on the information available today (because that's when the pregnancy is, right now, not 5 years from now when more info becomes available) must be made by the individual. Any other "advice" is ill conceived and a cavalier opinion that might appear benign, but may carry long term hazards that the "advisor" will never have be held responsible for.