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And I didn't even realize that I had done it.

Published by tnt56 in the blog Just need to vent. Views: 165

Sorry this is my first blog, so excuse me if I ramble. I'm a creature of habit. I do the same thing every day and every night. I have my routine down and it works for me.
When I woke up at 3am this morning to get ready for work. The first thing I have always done ever since I can remember is to reach for a analog. Better explain a bit. I have to wear glasses to see and at 3am you can guess that it's pretty dark outside. I reached for my 2 packs of analogs that always sit on the headboard of the bed. I found one of them then reached for the lighter. It wasn't there! In the dark I started just moving my hand over the top of the headboard of the bed. I can feel things being knocked off and hitting the floor. Finally turn the lights on and grab my glasses. The one thing that caught my eyes were the 3 pv's sitting on my night stand. Brain goes into a panic searching for my lighter. Desperation sets in and I grab my vmax. (The easiest to find and use when I first wake up). Start vaping stil looking for the lighter. l Finally give up cause the vape has given me what I needed. Start doing my morning routine still looking for the missing $1 lighter. After I get my first cup of coffee, it finally dawns on my. I had put all the lighters in a drawer in the kitchen the night before. Once I realized that I had done this for a reason, it finally occured that the first smoke of the day was nothing but pure habit. I could use my pv and still survive the morning. Doing this one little thing has proven what I've said in some of the forums. I CAN AND WILL DO THIS. I don't take the credit for this. I've learned so much from ECF that I really don't think I could have done that one little thing without the advice and support from this group. Like others have already said. "Don't count the ones you smoke. Count the ones you didn't smoke. When I set up my banner I made an adjustment for analogs that I might use through a day. This way I can look and see that Yes I am doing it. And after just this short time the difference is amazing. I no longer have to keep 4 packs in my car. I don't even remember when I put the extra pack in there. It's still there and still unopened. One day I know I'll finally toss it. But until that day comes I guess you could call it a pacificer for the just in case moment. The main reason for this blog is so that I can look back in a future time and see what all I've done. Maybe I can help others like others have helped me.
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