What Should I Get My (Insert Elder Here)?
It's one of the most popular - and sweetest - questions I see in the New Members Forum: Which e-cigarette should I get my mom, my dad, great-grand MeeMaw, cantankerous old Uncle Pooter?
Replies are numerous, loving, thoughtful and well-intentioned, but I rarely see my ECF siblingern respond with the correct response.
Hint: the correct response is not invariably "get her an eGo."
In a previous blogrant, I've explained the advantages of the KR808d-1 for the aged and infirm - but before we even get to brands and threads and alphabet soup, this is one of those times where the best (initial) answer to a question is another question, or in this case, questions.
1) Is the elder
a: active and on the go most of the time?
b: does s/he, for reasons of medical necessity, preferred activities, or Couch Potato Emeritus status, spend more time in one location - a favorite easy chair, at the computer or sewing machine, or reclining on a bed or chaise lounge?
2) Does the elder currently smoke:
a: A full-strength, regular, Old School cigarette (with or without filter) like Gauloise, Marlboro Red, Lucky Strike, cigar, or pipe?
b: Anything that starts with ultra or lite or extra light and/or ends in "100s?"
Why You Need To Ask All That
1) One of the largest Upgrade expenses - and most challenging challenges - involves finding the right device. That was true for you, and it'll be true for elders.
2) Older folks tend to be set in our ways. That means first impressions are important.
If the first time we try one of these new-fangled contraptions, the experience sucks, getting us to try it a second time will be harder, if not impossible. We'll simply decide that those things may be fine for the young folks, but don't work for us.
So ask the questions, but even more importantly, LISTEN to what we say. Think about what our typical day is like - not yours.
If Auntie Mina, despite having turned 108 last March, still gets up at the coin slot of dawn and spends her day cliff-hopping around with the family herd of goats, returning home only as the first kiss of apricot tints the western skies, get her a wireless she can take with her.
The last thing she'll be interested in is some doodleding that requires her to sit in one place in order to use it.
If, on the other hand, she spends most of her day playing World of Warcraft, knitting ugly holiday sweaters, or watching trashy reality shows, get her an electric hookah-doodle and accompanying wall rodent, and plug her ancient *** into the wall.
Charging batteries will not be her issue, so don't bother her with that now. If she likes her hookah-doodle, then you can talk to her about a wireless or two she can keep charged up and take along on outings.
If she smokes something old school, like unfiltered Luckies, Marlboro Reds, and ilk, or if she prefers cigars, cigarillos, a shisha, or a corncob pipe, whether wireless or hookah-doodle, her first KR808d-1 should be Generation 1.
Reason: Generation 1 KR808d-1 hookah-doodles, or "pass throughs" generate 5 of those electricity globules called "volts." It's now also possible to get a wireless (KR808d-1) model that comes close to that.
In fact, the reason for the popularity of many of the other kinds of e-cigarettes (as well as those "lite" tobacco ones) is that many, many people PREFER a less intense sensation, or "throat hit."
Smokers who smoke Old School smoking materials, however, are not among those many, many people. We need every last one of those 5 volts.
If, however, she smokes one of those kinder gentler low tar things, and you do decide on a KR808d-1, be sure to get her a Generation 2, again, whether wireless or hookah-doodle.
Like many other e-cigarettes, Generation 2 KR808d-1s produce only 3.7 volts. This appears to be the most popular number of volts across the market - which means you've got lots more choices! If you're a big fan of any of the "510" tribes, they are crawling with 3.7 volt offerings.
If she stays in one place more than not AND smokes something Old School, don't worry about the 5 volted Generation 1 hookah doodle making her cough.
At first, any of them are going to make all of us cough, probably for weeks.
Initial coughing phase notwithstanding, if if she's used to getting a hard-core, no nonsense throat hit every couple of seconds, she's not going to be happy with a Generation 2, or any of the other 3.7 havin' ones, so she'll stop using it, and pick up her Marlboros, which despite their various lethal disadvantages, can at least be depended upon to feel like they're supposed to in your throat.
Conversely, if she's used to that lowliteultra crap, and you get her a Generation 1, her coughing phase probably isn't going to pass.
It may not even start, as she is likely to find the Generation 1's sensation too harsh and intense, and she will not wish to keep puffing it.
Now, how the hell, you may well ask, do I have the gall to spout off all this advice when, by my own admission, I've never puffed anything BUT Generation 1 KR808d-1s?
For that very reason! While I'm more grateful than words can say to my dear benefactor and Guru PKZap27 for the gift of my very first e-cigarettes, that wasn't the big gift.
The greatest gift and most precious - and most practical - gift of all was that because he listened to me, he was able to give me the RIGHT e-cigarette, and thus saved me from the aggravation and expense of having to try one thing after another!
I don't NEED to run around chasing every new piddletong that comes out, because my Generation 1 KR808d-1s are perfect for me.
Of course, Great Auntie Mina's goats may vary.
She may come to you a few months from now and be all "Yo, I thought I liked this little pink thing with the fake diamond on the end OK, but lately I've been thinking I'd really be happier with something that's less like a cigarette and more like - oh, I don't know, maybe a screwdriver - or a super fat Sharpie - or no, wait! - something kind of box shaped, with, like little pipes and stuff sticking out - yeah! Oh and a digital readout that I can't see."
If that happens, I'll be the first to urge you to present her with one of each, but don't hold your breath.
Most of us just want to Upgrade from tobacco cigarettes, and yes, we want it to be cigarette shaped, and no, we will NOT be growing out of or graduating from that.
And unless and until the goats start staying out way past sunset, and battery life really becomes an issue, we don't mind carrying around a few extra KR808d-1s in a little brocade case. Or you can get us one of those fancy ones that charge up our wirelesses right there, just sitting out on the table. (Provided we remember to charge up the little case).
But there is no gift you can give us, that will mean more to us than listening to us as we ramble endlessly on. (And this is true whether it's got jacksquat to do with e-cigarettes or not).
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