As some of you know we started a contest on our other forum for a Joye 650mah Ego PCC kit here *New Contest!* What Bob and Missy Did On Their Summer Vacation
Ciego and I agreed on 4 posts we should poll and let run until Friday let's say 5 Eastern Time. You can view the posts on the other board but I will copy them and number them 1-4 here and that will determine the winner. Hopefully any future contests will be more organized
between vacation, the approval of Forum Supplier and just being plain busy this wasn't the best organized and I'll take blame for that. So without futher ado:
#1
thehangdude
I know what they did on vacation, because I followed them. I was cruizing home on I-70, heading into Terre Haute, when I saw a pink General Lee Huffy bungee-strapped to the back of a 12 seater church van. The van was painted like a '60s Voltswagon, with flowers and rainbows and slightly faded tie-dye designs. How I knew it was boB and yssiM was the cardboard sign in the back window that read "Lake Fishigan or Bust".
They didn't stop often at first, but did pick up a hitch-hiker that was wearing nothing but a thong. The guy was just standing on the side of the road, ignoring the honks and verbal abuse. boB pulled the van over, running over the toes of the scantily clad man.
I followed that van all the way to the east coast, when they stopped at a run-down shack with a 1/4 moon carved into the front door. Out came a lady in curlers, whose brassier was losing the battle of gravity. As she crawled into the side door of the van, I saw a mangy ..... peek out the bottom of her floral nightgown.
The van headed south, picking up more passengers. I didn't see them all, but I know a mechanic and preacher were in the mix. The two newcomers sat in the back and talked and vaped the whole journey.
It was not hard to follow the van, as a cloud of vapor rolled out the slightly open windows. At first I thought the heater core was out and they would pull over, but I began to smell the most amazing things. Aromas of rice pudding would be followed by sweet honeysuckle. Rice Crispies would blend into warm sugar cookies.
As night fell, the van parked by the most pristine lake I have ever seen. The crowd fell out of the vapor filled vehicle like a Cheech and Chong skit. boB started a bon fire, and the party huddled around to stay warm. The lady in rollers opened a bottle, took a healthy swig, and passed it around. The thong-clad man picked lint from his navel.
I heard a knock on my window, and was startled to see the preacherman standing outside my car. "You goina join us, dude?" He asked. The last thing I remember was chasing a pull of Johnnie Walker with the most amazing "bait A" sample I've ever tried.
I would love to tell you where this beautiful lake is, or how I spent the past week, but I was drunk for most of it. I do remember flashes. Possums, a naked pier, peering naked, a fishy smell, yssiM's beautiful singing, and boB sitting in shallow water, blowing underwater bubbles. I remember helping search for the secret ingredients yssiM uses to make her awesome.
I had fun, and hope to see the group again next summer.
#2
Nyte
"I think we lost him!" Missy stated as she struggled to catch her breath. Her back was pressed up against a brick wall of a shadowed alley.
Bob was leaned over, his hands on his knees. His gaze was toward the ground, not daring to look up. Gathering his willpower, he breathed deep and peered around the edge of the building. Nothing. No sign of…that thing. He allowed himself a small moment of victory. Looking over at his beautiful bride, he pulled her close for a hug of triumph.
“What do you think it wants?” Missy asked… her face pressed into Bob’s shoulder. “I’m so tired of running.”
Hugging her tightly, Bob’s mind began to wonder just how long they had been running. They hadn’t been in New York long, but it seemed like years.
Two days earlier
“Oh wow! Would you look at this? What a nice place!” Missy watched as the bellhop carefully placed their luggage in the bedroom of the posh suite.
Bob looked the door card in his hand quizzically. “Wait, don’t get comfortable…I think we might have the wrong room. This is the penthouse suite. Not what we paid for.”
Missy looked crestfallen…she had already toured the suite and had made plans to take a swim in the enormous bathtub and visit the steam room before bedtime.
The bellhop grinned, “No, sir. Special free upgrade for V.I.P’s.” He winked as he closed the door.
Bob called down to the front desk to make sure while Missy got settled in. “Oh Bob, come on…come enjoy this view from the balcony. The sun is setting!” Bob, being a thoughtful and smart man…did what his wife asked. Joining her, he was amazed at the view of Central Park. It was wonderful.
As they sat, the sun’s rays were split by the city skyscrapers. The streets were sunlit, bathed in a golden glow. The people below were hurrying to their destination, unaware of how beautiful they looked. There was a noise below the couple. A sort of giggling. High pitched, and downright creepy.
“Did you hear that?” Missy asked. She sat up in her chair. The hair on the back of her neck had stood on end.
There it was again. That giggle.
Bob leaned over the balcony, but could see nothing. They shrugged it off…after all, this was New York.
The next morning, Bob awoke to a scream. Missy was shaking him awake… “Bob! There’s something on the balcony!”
“Wha? Huh?” Bob struggled to go from deep sleep to wide awake in a second flat.
Missy jumped out of bed, grabbed an umbrella. As she approached the window, she heard what had woken her. That crazy giggle. “Get away from the window, Missy! I know what that is now…I couldn’t place it last night. But now I remember.” Bob shot out of bed and pulled back the drape. His worst fear was proven true. Outside, staring in at them was the one thing Bob never wanted to see.
A jackalope. Wearing a bowtie…and a fez.
Grabbing his wife’s hand, the two hightailed it out of the hotel. Bob had heard stories from older relatives about being stalked by a jackalope. Said they were relentless. Once a jackalope had decided to follow you, he wouldn’t stop till they got what they were after.
They had been running ever since.
The crazy giggle haunted their dreams, when they took shifts sleeping. The had a plan to head to the bus station, take separate busses to different places and then rendezvous in a spot close to home. They had almost made it. The bus station was less than two blocks away.
Bob took his wifes hand as they turned to leave the shadowed alley, and their blood stopped cold. That giggle…that crazy giggle echoed off the building’s walls. Bob dropped his chin to his chest. He just didn’t want to run anymore. Turning to face the sound, Bob took a deep breath and raised his chin defiantly. Stepping in front of his lovely bride, he narrowed his eyes, trying to make out the small figure that was hopping toward them. The figure stopped just before reaching the sunlight and did something the couple was not expecting. The jackalope straightened his bowtie, adjusted his fez. Licking a dainty paw, it reached up and smoothed the fur on it cheeks. The jackalope was primping.
Missy looked at a Bob as if to say “We’re supposed to be afraid of this thing?” Bob just shrugged…he was only going on what he had heard.
The jackalope cleared his throat, “Ahem, excuse me…When I get nervous I have the tendancy to giggle like a loon. My apologies if that frightened you.” He spoke with a slight Welsh accent…probably from Cardiff. “It’s just not every day one gets to meet someone whom they admire a great deal!” With that, the jackalope reached under his fez.
Bob and Missy bristled, hoping the jackalope wasn’t packing heat under that hat. They were amazed as the jackalope pulled out a Provari.
Turns out, the particular jackalope was a big fan of Kick Bass Vapor juice and had heard that the couple would be traveling to his hometown soon. It was the jackalope that set up the posh suite for his favorite joose vendor. Jack, as he was known, was good friends with the hotel manager and had helped him quit smoking by introducing him to vaping.
Once the initial miscommunication was cleared up, Bob and Missy went on to have a wonderful vacation with Jack using his many connections to assure they were treated as a king and queen. There were carriage rides in the park, decadent dinners and even a visit to the Jersey shore.
As hard as it was to believe, that jackalope pretty much had the run of the town. Then again, maybe it’s not hard to believe…after all… it IS New York.
#3
db13berry
Ok. So here's the scoop. I have found out what truly happened on the forementioned vacation.
In a tizzy, Bahn calls bob and missy. She is just sick and tired of her foul smelling ...... Being the good people bob and missy are, they agreed to come to juhsey, to try to once and for all "kill it." Armed with all the KBV joose flavors in gallons, as suggested by Bahn, bob and missy jet set off to Bahn's dank basement.
Upon arrival, all da joose was lugged down to the cool dark basement. Bob and missy decide to take a nap before setting out on the job at hand. Bob and missy look around and realize the cool basement and furnishings look rather barbaric. There are even chains and tubes hanging from the ceiling......... anyway, bob and missy are too tired to worry about it right then, so they lay down for a long nap and sleep as if they have been gassed.
Bob awakens trembling. It is freezing. He sits straight up and realizes the cool dark basement is now freezing cold. He realizes he can see his own breath and looking around realizes missy is gone!
Bob gets up to go up stairs to find out what is going on......only to realize, all he is wearing is his thonged lanyard mini had made him. He checked, "whew" the pv and tiny joose bottle were still there. "Puff puff puff"
As bob climbs the stairs, he realizes the basement door is closed. AND LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE! Bob bangs and knocks. No answer. Back down into the basement he goes only to realize all those gallon jugs of every KBV flavor joose is gone. There is a mini fridge with a small jar of mayo, a half loaf of bread, and a half package of sandwich meat. There is some bottled water.
For days bob sits in the freezing dark basement with his little bottle of juice and wonders what went wrong....what did he do to deserve this?
After 5 days:
The basement begins to warm and the door unlocks. Bahn and missy enter the basement glowing, refreshed, and maybe a little tipsy. They giggle at bob and apologise. The two girls really only wanted a girls only vacay, but didnt have the heart to tell bob. And who was going to carry all the joose to juhsey?
This is REALLY why bob has lost so much weight.
#4
Razornribbonz
( raced home from work just to write something. I have no idea if I even made it on time lol)
Bob threw the truck into drive. His voice matching Missys in their wobbly, off key little rendition of > " We're going on vacaaation!...We're going on vacaaation!". A high pitched scream ripped into their little ditty, stopping it cold...Bob slammed on the break and threw the truck into drive..What the Heck was that?! He and Missy hit the front porch at the same time. Practically tearing the front screen off the hinges to gain entry back into the house.
After weaving their way through all of the gallons of PG,VG and shelves of flavors.. They finally found Bonnie, their assistant in all things joose related. She was starring down at the latest vat of snickerdoodle, tears streaming down her face. Her usually perfectly coiffed hair going in all directions.. She turned and jabbed a finger at Bob. " I told you!.. Missy, I told him...That..That thing in the snickerdoodle batch is still growing and now it's moving!..Her raspy intake of breath was audible as she continued...And the new forum is blowing up with complaints!..We're 500 orders behind and they want their free test samples and personal notes..NOW!...Missy did a slow sideways glance at Bob, her voice low," you stopped sending out the testers?!..oh that's low Bob"..
Bob felt the gut wrenching pain of his ulcer flair up and all he wanted to do was stop both of these woman from glaring at him...H*ll, all he wanted was a blasted vacation!...But Bonnies verbal vomit wasn't about to be stopped..With a disgusted wave of her hand she continued, "And some State Board of FDA or some BS called and said they'd heard you were smuggling MAW flavors..They're on their way to inspect right now.
Missy lifted a brow in concern as Bob started muttering repeatedly, " I just wanted a vacation..All I wanted was a friggin vacation"
The persistant shaking hand on his shoulder slowly pulled Bob from the gauzy cobwebs of sleep..His heart still slamming against his chest, his mouth tasting like he'd vaped a quart of crab joose..He tried to focus on his Missy..Her eyes bright her smile even brighter, she stretched like a little cat..." ahh Bob, This vacation was sooo nice..Are you re-charged baby? Ready to get back to work?!
Ciego and I agreed on 4 posts we should poll and let run until Friday let's say 5 Eastern Time. You can view the posts on the other board but I will copy them and number them 1-4 here and that will determine the winner. Hopefully any future contests will be more organized
between vacation, the approval of Forum Supplier and just being plain busy this wasn't the best organized and I'll take blame for that. So without futher ado:#1
thehangdude
I know what they did on vacation, because I followed them. I was cruizing home on I-70, heading into Terre Haute, when I saw a pink General Lee Huffy bungee-strapped to the back of a 12 seater church van. The van was painted like a '60s Voltswagon, with flowers and rainbows and slightly faded tie-dye designs. How I knew it was boB and yssiM was the cardboard sign in the back window that read "Lake Fishigan or Bust".
They didn't stop often at first, but did pick up a hitch-hiker that was wearing nothing but a thong. The guy was just standing on the side of the road, ignoring the honks and verbal abuse. boB pulled the van over, running over the toes of the scantily clad man.
I followed that van all the way to the east coast, when they stopped at a run-down shack with a 1/4 moon carved into the front door. Out came a lady in curlers, whose brassier was losing the battle of gravity. As she crawled into the side door of the van, I saw a mangy ..... peek out the bottom of her floral nightgown.
The van headed south, picking up more passengers. I didn't see them all, but I know a mechanic and preacher were in the mix. The two newcomers sat in the back and talked and vaped the whole journey.
It was not hard to follow the van, as a cloud of vapor rolled out the slightly open windows. At first I thought the heater core was out and they would pull over, but I began to smell the most amazing things. Aromas of rice pudding would be followed by sweet honeysuckle. Rice Crispies would blend into warm sugar cookies.
As night fell, the van parked by the most pristine lake I have ever seen. The crowd fell out of the vapor filled vehicle like a Cheech and Chong skit. boB started a bon fire, and the party huddled around to stay warm. The lady in rollers opened a bottle, took a healthy swig, and passed it around. The thong-clad man picked lint from his navel.
I heard a knock on my window, and was startled to see the preacherman standing outside my car. "You goina join us, dude?" He asked. The last thing I remember was chasing a pull of Johnnie Walker with the most amazing "bait A" sample I've ever tried.
I would love to tell you where this beautiful lake is, or how I spent the past week, but I was drunk for most of it. I do remember flashes. Possums, a naked pier, peering naked, a fishy smell, yssiM's beautiful singing, and boB sitting in shallow water, blowing underwater bubbles. I remember helping search for the secret ingredients yssiM uses to make her awesome.
I had fun, and hope to see the group again next summer.
#2
Nyte
"I think we lost him!" Missy stated as she struggled to catch her breath. Her back was pressed up against a brick wall of a shadowed alley.
Bob was leaned over, his hands on his knees. His gaze was toward the ground, not daring to look up. Gathering his willpower, he breathed deep and peered around the edge of the building. Nothing. No sign of…that thing. He allowed himself a small moment of victory. Looking over at his beautiful bride, he pulled her close for a hug of triumph.
“What do you think it wants?” Missy asked… her face pressed into Bob’s shoulder. “I’m so tired of running.”
Hugging her tightly, Bob’s mind began to wonder just how long they had been running. They hadn’t been in New York long, but it seemed like years.
Two days earlier
“Oh wow! Would you look at this? What a nice place!” Missy watched as the bellhop carefully placed their luggage in the bedroom of the posh suite.
Bob looked the door card in his hand quizzically. “Wait, don’t get comfortable…I think we might have the wrong room. This is the penthouse suite. Not what we paid for.”
Missy looked crestfallen…she had already toured the suite and had made plans to take a swim in the enormous bathtub and visit the steam room before bedtime.
The bellhop grinned, “No, sir. Special free upgrade for V.I.P’s.” He winked as he closed the door.
Bob called down to the front desk to make sure while Missy got settled in. “Oh Bob, come on…come enjoy this view from the balcony. The sun is setting!” Bob, being a thoughtful and smart man…did what his wife asked. Joining her, he was amazed at the view of Central Park. It was wonderful.
As they sat, the sun’s rays were split by the city skyscrapers. The streets were sunlit, bathed in a golden glow. The people below were hurrying to their destination, unaware of how beautiful they looked. There was a noise below the couple. A sort of giggling. High pitched, and downright creepy.
“Did you hear that?” Missy asked. She sat up in her chair. The hair on the back of her neck had stood on end.
There it was again. That giggle.
Bob leaned over the balcony, but could see nothing. They shrugged it off…after all, this was New York.
The next morning, Bob awoke to a scream. Missy was shaking him awake… “Bob! There’s something on the balcony!”
“Wha? Huh?” Bob struggled to go from deep sleep to wide awake in a second flat.
Missy jumped out of bed, grabbed an umbrella. As she approached the window, she heard what had woken her. That crazy giggle. “Get away from the window, Missy! I know what that is now…I couldn’t place it last night. But now I remember.” Bob shot out of bed and pulled back the drape. His worst fear was proven true. Outside, staring in at them was the one thing Bob never wanted to see.
A jackalope. Wearing a bowtie…and a fez.
Grabbing his wife’s hand, the two hightailed it out of the hotel. Bob had heard stories from older relatives about being stalked by a jackalope. Said they were relentless. Once a jackalope had decided to follow you, he wouldn’t stop till they got what they were after.
They had been running ever since.
The crazy giggle haunted their dreams, when they took shifts sleeping. The had a plan to head to the bus station, take separate busses to different places and then rendezvous in a spot close to home. They had almost made it. The bus station was less than two blocks away.
Bob took his wifes hand as they turned to leave the shadowed alley, and their blood stopped cold. That giggle…that crazy giggle echoed off the building’s walls. Bob dropped his chin to his chest. He just didn’t want to run anymore. Turning to face the sound, Bob took a deep breath and raised his chin defiantly. Stepping in front of his lovely bride, he narrowed his eyes, trying to make out the small figure that was hopping toward them. The figure stopped just before reaching the sunlight and did something the couple was not expecting. The jackalope straightened his bowtie, adjusted his fez. Licking a dainty paw, it reached up and smoothed the fur on it cheeks. The jackalope was primping.
Missy looked at a Bob as if to say “We’re supposed to be afraid of this thing?” Bob just shrugged…he was only going on what he had heard.
The jackalope cleared his throat, “Ahem, excuse me…When I get nervous I have the tendancy to giggle like a loon. My apologies if that frightened you.” He spoke with a slight Welsh accent…probably from Cardiff. “It’s just not every day one gets to meet someone whom they admire a great deal!” With that, the jackalope reached under his fez.
Bob and Missy bristled, hoping the jackalope wasn’t packing heat under that hat. They were amazed as the jackalope pulled out a Provari.
Turns out, the particular jackalope was a big fan of Kick Bass Vapor juice and had heard that the couple would be traveling to his hometown soon. It was the jackalope that set up the posh suite for his favorite joose vendor. Jack, as he was known, was good friends with the hotel manager and had helped him quit smoking by introducing him to vaping.
Once the initial miscommunication was cleared up, Bob and Missy went on to have a wonderful vacation with Jack using his many connections to assure they were treated as a king and queen. There were carriage rides in the park, decadent dinners and even a visit to the Jersey shore.
As hard as it was to believe, that jackalope pretty much had the run of the town. Then again, maybe it’s not hard to believe…after all… it IS New York.
#3
db13berry
Ok. So here's the scoop. I have found out what truly happened on the forementioned vacation.
In a tizzy, Bahn calls bob and missy. She is just sick and tired of her foul smelling ...... Being the good people bob and missy are, they agreed to come to juhsey, to try to once and for all "kill it." Armed with all the KBV joose flavors in gallons, as suggested by Bahn, bob and missy jet set off to Bahn's dank basement.
Upon arrival, all da joose was lugged down to the cool dark basement. Bob and missy decide to take a nap before setting out on the job at hand. Bob and missy look around and realize the cool basement and furnishings look rather barbaric. There are even chains and tubes hanging from the ceiling......... anyway, bob and missy are too tired to worry about it right then, so they lay down for a long nap and sleep as if they have been gassed.
Bob awakens trembling. It is freezing. He sits straight up and realizes the cool dark basement is now freezing cold. He realizes he can see his own breath and looking around realizes missy is gone!
Bob gets up to go up stairs to find out what is going on......only to realize, all he is wearing is his thonged lanyard mini had made him. He checked, "whew" the pv and tiny joose bottle were still there. "Puff puff puff"
As bob climbs the stairs, he realizes the basement door is closed. AND LOCKED FROM THE OUTSIDE! Bob bangs and knocks. No answer. Back down into the basement he goes only to realize all those gallon jugs of every KBV flavor joose is gone. There is a mini fridge with a small jar of mayo, a half loaf of bread, and a half package of sandwich meat. There is some bottled water.
For days bob sits in the freezing dark basement with his little bottle of juice and wonders what went wrong....what did he do to deserve this?
After 5 days:
The basement begins to warm and the door unlocks. Bahn and missy enter the basement glowing, refreshed, and maybe a little tipsy. They giggle at bob and apologise. The two girls really only wanted a girls only vacay, but didnt have the heart to tell bob. And who was going to carry all the joose to juhsey?
This is REALLY why bob has lost so much weight.
#4
Razornribbonz
( raced home from work just to write something. I have no idea if I even made it on time lol)
Bob threw the truck into drive. His voice matching Missys in their wobbly, off key little rendition of > " We're going on vacaaation!...We're going on vacaaation!". A high pitched scream ripped into their little ditty, stopping it cold...Bob slammed on the break and threw the truck into drive..What the Heck was that?! He and Missy hit the front porch at the same time. Practically tearing the front screen off the hinges to gain entry back into the house.
After weaving their way through all of the gallons of PG,VG and shelves of flavors.. They finally found Bonnie, their assistant in all things joose related. She was starring down at the latest vat of snickerdoodle, tears streaming down her face. Her usually perfectly coiffed hair going in all directions.. She turned and jabbed a finger at Bob. " I told you!.. Missy, I told him...That..That thing in the snickerdoodle batch is still growing and now it's moving!..Her raspy intake of breath was audible as she continued...And the new forum is blowing up with complaints!..We're 500 orders behind and they want their free test samples and personal notes..NOW!...Missy did a slow sideways glance at Bob, her voice low," you stopped sending out the testers?!..oh that's low Bob"..
Bob felt the gut wrenching pain of his ulcer flair up and all he wanted to do was stop both of these woman from glaring at him...H*ll, all he wanted was a blasted vacation!...But Bonnies verbal vomit wasn't about to be stopped..With a disgusted wave of her hand she continued, "And some State Board of FDA or some BS called and said they'd heard you were smuggling MAW flavors..They're on their way to inspect right now.
Missy lifted a brow in concern as Bob started muttering repeatedly, " I just wanted a vacation..All I wanted was a friggin vacation"
The persistant shaking hand on his shoulder slowly pulled Bob from the gauzy cobwebs of sleep..His heart still slamming against his chest, his mouth tasting like he'd vaped a quart of crab joose..He tried to focus on his Missy..Her eyes bright her smile even brighter, she stretched like a little cat..." ahh Bob, This vacation was sooo nice..Are you re-charged baby? Ready to get back to work?!
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