"Dad Jokes"

[DavidOck]

They told me to follow my dreams...

So I went back to bed.

 

[Nermal]

They told me to follow my dreams...

So I went back to bed.

I love it!

 

[DavidOck]

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

 

[DavidOck]

To the person who stole my glasses, I'll find you.

I have contacts!

 

[somdcomputerguy]

To the person who stole my glasses, I'll find you.

I have contacts!

 

[DavidOck]

Age is not a number.

It's clearly a word.

 

[smacuser]

Dad took us to a lame zoo, it only had one dog. I think it was a shih tzu.

 

[UncLeJunkLe]

Johnny is falsely convicted of robbing a bank and sentenced to 25 years, though the stolen money was not yet recovered.

As he's sitting in prison, bitter at the world and ruminating on his bad luck and the injustice, he receives a letter from his father:


Dear Johnny,

I miss you so much & I was thinking of this past winter when we agreed to start a new garden. It's almost time! Sadly, I'm getting older & I'm not sure how I'm gonna do it without you. How I wish you were here to help.

I love you so much,
Dad


Johnny has always loved gardening with his father and starts feeling bad that the can't be there to help him. But then he remembers that all letters are monitored by the prison and a big smile grows on his face as he replies:


Dear Dad,

I feel so terrible that I can't be there to help out with the new garden. But don't fret, I'm absolutely certain some kind soul will lend a helping hand in my absence.

I love you, too, Dad,
Johnny

PS: Dad, whatever you do, DO NOT dig up the far right corner of the back yard.

 

[MLEJ]

Why is 'dark' spelled with a K & not a C?


'cuz you can't C in dark.



(Forgive me for i have sinned.)

 

[MLEJ]

"Do you know the name of Sherlock Holmes' son?"

"What son?"

"No, no. That was his friend."

 

[MLEJ]

What do you get when you cross a nasty sheep with a hungry cow?


An animal in a BAAAAd MOOd !