Well, again, nobody died, unless you count coughing up your own weight in tar/crap. I’m so glad my doc prepared me for this. At the end of my pneumonia bout, I asked my doc how long I should nebulize (he was actually thrilled with my quitting plan, my particular PCP has, of late, looked at me walking into his office as a keg of gelignite, who might explode and die before him any second) and he thought for a long time and said… “For you? I have no idea just keep using it until you don’t have to, whenever that is.” Actually he was thrilled with my quit plan and was like, “You seem highly motivated for once,” and I was like, “Yep, yep, I am HIGHLY motivated to not get COPD which is totally where I’m headed,” and he was like, “YES.” Heh.
I really am highly motivated I guess, the coughing is EXTREME. Seriously, it feels like I’m coughing up blood at times, I don’t think I am and I eat red Jolly Ranchers so for now, I’m going to consider it THAT. Tar tastes disgusting, but I will freely admit I cry a little every time it happens. Sigh. Good Lord.
Day two went better…. I’m finding until about 3 p.m. vaping’s okay, as long as I exercise, and pay attention AND use distractions. I really miss that damn initial cig in the morning, but I KNOW I’ll fail massively, if I have it, so it’s getting easier. I just get so freaking ANTSY as the day progresses, but I’m trying to take it easy given the fact that I know it WILL get easier, I think I only smoked 3 cigs yesterday, but it was all later in the day. Maybe I need to go to BED at 3 p.m. heh. No, that won’t work. That being said, here are some awesome things I have noted about vaping:
1) I can start smelling things again! Oh, the smell of garbage cans in the late afternoon 105 heat!
2) I do feel a bit more confident every day, and I am getting practice dealing with cravings. (Trust me, I have them before 3 p.m., absolutely. Ignoring cravings sucks, but it’s liberating.)
3) My husband, who wakes up cranky, is no longer bothered by my presence in the a.m. Yeah, like I’m going to go outside in my smoking chair, with coffee, and sit there while he smokes, while I VAPE? That way lies madness, at least right NOW. Husband wants to quit but seriously, I told him to wait 2 weeks until I’m fully e-cigged because we’re both highly cranky people and doing it “together” while it sounds all lovely and dovey, it won’t go down like that. He doesn’t want to e-cig, just cold turkey. I felt… this is better. He’s started smoking a pipe too, and I know he will secretly use that, but I don’t care. It’s his body, and frankly, he smokes WAY less than me and always has. Sneak pipe smoking away, husbando, go for it. Though, I HATE the smell of pipe smoke and am one of those weirdos who enjoys the smell of cigs (if they aren’t stale) but whatever, husband.
4) Getting easier, even though I tell myself it isn’t. But, it is.
5) I really PREFER vaping, cigs now taste like cow patties.
6) I DON’T want to die of COPD. I SO don’t! I knew an old Vietnam vet counselor at a program I used to work at he was an avid proponent of vaping and he was like, “Anna, it won’t ever be the SAME, it’s never the SAME, you have to accept that.” Except, he already HAD an oxygen tank, and one of my main reasons to vape NOW is that I NEVER want an oxygen tank. Avoidance of one of those is one of my primary motivators…. In fact, using an e-cig to AVOID an oxygen tank is one of my MAIN things I think about.
7) Safety. I mean, I know that WE KNOW NOTHING and etc., but I can already feel my lungs feeling better. If I die of a heart attack/lung cancer, whatever, I don’t much care. I mean, it’s not my PREFERENCE, but I don’t want to SLOWLY DROWN OVER YEARS, and I can already tell the e-cig is going to help with that, so the rest of it be damned. I mean, yeah, hopefully it WILL reduce chances of such matters, I just don’t much care at the moment.
CONS:
1) Quitting smoking. I mean, come on, I’m a realist. If I could KEEP smoking, I would. I just simply have run out of lung capacity and I KNOW this.
2) I feel like I have WET BRAIN. I’m not kidding. I am totally in a fog half the time and it only gets worse as the day progresses—it SUCKS. That’s the main thing driving me to a cigarette actually, if I have to drive somewhere or do something complicated, my IQ and concentration and focus SUCK at the moment. I wish they had a rehab for smokers, or even that I could go to rehab. Although, thinking that through, that’s probably the WORST idea since smokers proliferate in rehabs, and EVERYONE would be smoking but me, heh. I could join “Ash line,” the tobacco funded cigarette cessation program in the state, but really…. No. I’ve talked to them a time or two and they all want me to take Chantix, (I’m already BIPOLAR I don’t need MORE reasons to GET psychotic) gum, or just send me dreary notifications about how far I’ve “come,” and whatnot, and I don’t want to see that stuff, at this juncture. Especially problematic when it won’t STOP and I’m being sent, “Congratulations Anna, two years without smoking,” and I’m reading it on my smart phone on one of forty cigarette breaks. No thanks.
3) But really, if ANYONE knows any cures for the wet-brain/ mental ......ation thing, I’m all ears. No brain, but all EARS. THAT is my main problem, besides antsiness. I know it will pass, I know I don’t have wet brain (not sure all who know me would concur, heh) but is there ANYTHING that helps? I tried to cut my caffeine, possibly too much, so I do try to have like a third of a cup of coffee or some tea, but it’s not doing much for me. Maybe chamomile tea would help with the antsiness? That tea is surprisingly effective for that, being as it’s so readily available. Yes, I may try that today, forcing myself to vape through the worst of things until I smoke, IF I have to. Today should be non-stressful, I hope. My kid goes to court (long story) but I’m not going as courtrooms, jails and other places make me want to act out…. Badly. I made an executive decision with son/husband that they would go together in my current condition. I mean, I might yell out horrific slurs against the “judge” I say that as in MY town, you don’t even have to freaking be a LAWYER to be a judge, SIMPLY a politician. How MESSED up is that? Last time I went the case was continued, and it was all I could do not to yell, “Yeah, hey you who wanted the $150 K salary without doing the work (she freaking has an AA degree, for god’s sakes) what the HELL, lady? Get up, I can do a better job than you.” Yeah, my wet brain and I will *NOT* be attending the hearing and we’re all happy about that. That’s more of a PRO, but seriously, wet brain help?
4) All that stupid crap that goes along ritualistically with smoking. I’m the kind of smoker where, like, if I ever quit and my cravings DO go away (they do) I freaking MISS THEM. I find lighters in the laundry and feel SAD and TRAGIC that I no longer have a use for them, who MISSES their cravings? That’s just sick. I guess I’ll be working on my own rituals with vaping and etc. But, it’s not the same. I do smoke other stuff, ATM, (it’s legal here) so AT LEAST I have a use for my lighters. But, I need to start me up some rituals, I think.
5) Can’t think of too many more cons, actually, so I guess I’ll leave it here. We’ll see what the day brings, I guess. It’s going to bring YOGA and maybe a walk, that’s for certain.
6) Oh, rewards! I need to find an awesome way to reward myself for stuff. I’ll have to think about that. That’s the thing with smoking, it’s like an instant reward, in and of itself. The reason I kind of miss cravings when they go is that “Wow, this is easier than food! I can carefully create, within myself, a deep desire for something TANGIBLE that I can fulfill INSTANTLY.” It’s a great feeling, lemme tell you. Okay, I’m overanalyzing this. Also, I’m not going to miss my cravings this time, as I actually DO want to quit. Even if it’s 55% wanting to quit, I’m over the 51% hump, and that’s actually all you need—the desire to quit MORE than the desire to smoke.
But overall, day two and beginning 3, was better. I know this, I smoked less and did more. RAH! Oh, and I forgot, something DID die yesterday, we have a packrat gnawing on our house, (long story) and my husband found one and chased it down, hitting it with a rock. I’d feel sad, but they really are destructive little critters. We have tons of bunny rabbits and I would never wish THEM dead, but packrats? Hell yes. During the house fire (long story) one got in our HOUSE and stole about 5 lbs of my jolly ranchers, the little… um, beast. I rejoice at packrat’s death (hopefully) mainly because we’ve tried so many non-lethal things, and listening to him gnaw on the underside of my house at night SUCKS. Yeah, we did peppermint oil, other stuff… No go. Though he’s not in the house anymore, my Jolly Ranchers are safe.
This was long and rambly, but I AM finding using a sub-ohm tank sometimes (early to build up nic in my system, during breaks) works well, and I like my thinner vape tank for by the time I am so sick of the high vapor clouds…. This is working well. In fact, off to change my tank now. I so hope all my stuff arrives today, but hell, I imagine one more day of smoking 3—4 cigarettes won’t hurt me, I mean, it’s practically like giving myself Pure Oxygen, compared to how I used to smoke, so it’s all good.
Anna (Wet brain solutions solicited) J And thanks to all you guys who are reading, and being encouraging. This is the best site. I told my son he was uninformed and that I understood as he was using his e-cig as a “drug” and he said, “I know a reasonable amount.” And I was like, “Uh, you instructed me to vape 12 nic on a sub ohm tank at 85 watts, so actually… no you don’t.” He was like, “Okay Mom, well we all know your obsessive need to know everything about everything.” Haha, I do have that desire when I am changing behaviors and I think there is Nothing Wrong With That.
Anna
I really am highly motivated I guess, the coughing is EXTREME. Seriously, it feels like I’m coughing up blood at times, I don’t think I am and I eat red Jolly Ranchers so for now, I’m going to consider it THAT. Tar tastes disgusting, but I will freely admit I cry a little every time it happens. Sigh. Good Lord.
Day two went better…. I’m finding until about 3 p.m. vaping’s okay, as long as I exercise, and pay attention AND use distractions. I really miss that damn initial cig in the morning, but I KNOW I’ll fail massively, if I have it, so it’s getting easier. I just get so freaking ANTSY as the day progresses, but I’m trying to take it easy given the fact that I know it WILL get easier, I think I only smoked 3 cigs yesterday, but it was all later in the day. Maybe I need to go to BED at 3 p.m. heh. No, that won’t work. That being said, here are some awesome things I have noted about vaping:
1) I can start smelling things again! Oh, the smell of garbage cans in the late afternoon 105 heat!
2) I do feel a bit more confident every day, and I am getting practice dealing with cravings. (Trust me, I have them before 3 p.m., absolutely. Ignoring cravings sucks, but it’s liberating.)
3) My husband, who wakes up cranky, is no longer bothered by my presence in the a.m. Yeah, like I’m going to go outside in my smoking chair, with coffee, and sit there while he smokes, while I VAPE? That way lies madness, at least right NOW. Husband wants to quit but seriously, I told him to wait 2 weeks until I’m fully e-cigged because we’re both highly cranky people and doing it “together” while it sounds all lovely and dovey, it won’t go down like that. He doesn’t want to e-cig, just cold turkey. I felt… this is better. He’s started smoking a pipe too, and I know he will secretly use that, but I don’t care. It’s his body, and frankly, he smokes WAY less than me and always has. Sneak pipe smoking away, husbando, go for it. Though, I HATE the smell of pipe smoke and am one of those weirdos who enjoys the smell of cigs (if they aren’t stale) but whatever, husband.
4) Getting easier, even though I tell myself it isn’t. But, it is.
5) I really PREFER vaping, cigs now taste like cow patties.
6) I DON’T want to die of COPD. I SO don’t! I knew an old Vietnam vet counselor at a program I used to work at he was an avid proponent of vaping and he was like, “Anna, it won’t ever be the SAME, it’s never the SAME, you have to accept that.” Except, he already HAD an oxygen tank, and one of my main reasons to vape NOW is that I NEVER want an oxygen tank. Avoidance of one of those is one of my primary motivators…. In fact, using an e-cig to AVOID an oxygen tank is one of my MAIN things I think about.
7) Safety. I mean, I know that WE KNOW NOTHING and etc., but I can already feel my lungs feeling better. If I die of a heart attack/lung cancer, whatever, I don’t much care. I mean, it’s not my PREFERENCE, but I don’t want to SLOWLY DROWN OVER YEARS, and I can already tell the e-cig is going to help with that, so the rest of it be damned. I mean, yeah, hopefully it WILL reduce chances of such matters, I just don’t much care at the moment.
CONS:
1) Quitting smoking. I mean, come on, I’m a realist. If I could KEEP smoking, I would. I just simply have run out of lung capacity and I KNOW this.
2) I feel like I have WET BRAIN. I’m not kidding. I am totally in a fog half the time and it only gets worse as the day progresses—it SUCKS. That’s the main thing driving me to a cigarette actually, if I have to drive somewhere or do something complicated, my IQ and concentration and focus SUCK at the moment. I wish they had a rehab for smokers, or even that I could go to rehab. Although, thinking that through, that’s probably the WORST idea since smokers proliferate in rehabs, and EVERYONE would be smoking but me, heh. I could join “Ash line,” the tobacco funded cigarette cessation program in the state, but really…. No. I’ve talked to them a time or two and they all want me to take Chantix, (I’m already BIPOLAR I don’t need MORE reasons to GET psychotic) gum, or just send me dreary notifications about how far I’ve “come,” and whatnot, and I don’t want to see that stuff, at this juncture. Especially problematic when it won’t STOP and I’m being sent, “Congratulations Anna, two years without smoking,” and I’m reading it on my smart phone on one of forty cigarette breaks. No thanks.
3) But really, if ANYONE knows any cures for the wet-brain/ mental ......ation thing, I’m all ears. No brain, but all EARS. THAT is my main problem, besides antsiness. I know it will pass, I know I don’t have wet brain (not sure all who know me would concur, heh) but is there ANYTHING that helps? I tried to cut my caffeine, possibly too much, so I do try to have like a third of a cup of coffee or some tea, but it’s not doing much for me. Maybe chamomile tea would help with the antsiness? That tea is surprisingly effective for that, being as it’s so readily available. Yes, I may try that today, forcing myself to vape through the worst of things until I smoke, IF I have to. Today should be non-stressful, I hope. My kid goes to court (long story) but I’m not going as courtrooms, jails and other places make me want to act out…. Badly. I made an executive decision with son/husband that they would go together in my current condition. I mean, I might yell out horrific slurs against the “judge” I say that as in MY town, you don’t even have to freaking be a LAWYER to be a judge, SIMPLY a politician. How MESSED up is that? Last time I went the case was continued, and it was all I could do not to yell, “Yeah, hey you who wanted the $150 K salary without doing the work (she freaking has an AA degree, for god’s sakes) what the HELL, lady? Get up, I can do a better job than you.” Yeah, my wet brain and I will *NOT* be attending the hearing and we’re all happy about that. That’s more of a PRO, but seriously, wet brain help?
4) All that stupid crap that goes along ritualistically with smoking. I’m the kind of smoker where, like, if I ever quit and my cravings DO go away (they do) I freaking MISS THEM. I find lighters in the laundry and feel SAD and TRAGIC that I no longer have a use for them, who MISSES their cravings? That’s just sick. I guess I’ll be working on my own rituals with vaping and etc. But, it’s not the same. I do smoke other stuff, ATM, (it’s legal here) so AT LEAST I have a use for my lighters. But, I need to start me up some rituals, I think.
5) Can’t think of too many more cons, actually, so I guess I’ll leave it here. We’ll see what the day brings, I guess. It’s going to bring YOGA and maybe a walk, that’s for certain.
6) Oh, rewards! I need to find an awesome way to reward myself for stuff. I’ll have to think about that. That’s the thing with smoking, it’s like an instant reward, in and of itself. The reason I kind of miss cravings when they go is that “Wow, this is easier than food! I can carefully create, within myself, a deep desire for something TANGIBLE that I can fulfill INSTANTLY.” It’s a great feeling, lemme tell you. Okay, I’m overanalyzing this. Also, I’m not going to miss my cravings this time, as I actually DO want to quit. Even if it’s 55% wanting to quit, I’m over the 51% hump, and that’s actually all you need—the desire to quit MORE than the desire to smoke.
But overall, day two and beginning 3, was better. I know this, I smoked less and did more. RAH! Oh, and I forgot, something DID die yesterday, we have a packrat gnawing on our house, (long story) and my husband found one and chased it down, hitting it with a rock. I’d feel sad, but they really are destructive little critters. We have tons of bunny rabbits and I would never wish THEM dead, but packrats? Hell yes. During the house fire (long story) one got in our HOUSE and stole about 5 lbs of my jolly ranchers, the little… um, beast. I rejoice at packrat’s death (hopefully) mainly because we’ve tried so many non-lethal things, and listening to him gnaw on the underside of my house at night SUCKS. Yeah, we did peppermint oil, other stuff… No go. Though he’s not in the house anymore, my Jolly Ranchers are safe.
This was long and rambly, but I AM finding using a sub-ohm tank sometimes (early to build up nic in my system, during breaks) works well, and I like my thinner vape tank for by the time I am so sick of the high vapor clouds…. This is working well. In fact, off to change my tank now. I so hope all my stuff arrives today, but hell, I imagine one more day of smoking 3—4 cigarettes won’t hurt me, I mean, it’s practically like giving myself Pure Oxygen, compared to how I used to smoke, so it’s all good.
Anna (Wet brain solutions solicited) J And thanks to all you guys who are reading, and being encouraging. This is the best site. I told my son he was uninformed and that I understood as he was using his e-cig as a “drug” and he said, “I know a reasonable amount.” And I was like, “Uh, you instructed me to vape 12 nic on a sub ohm tank at 85 watts, so actually… no you don’t.” He was like, “Okay Mom, well we all know your obsessive need to know everything about everything.” Haha, I do have that desire when I am changing behaviors and I think there is Nothing Wrong With That.
Anna
Hard to get that hook Completely out of my Month.
. Especially the comment about the garbage containers. Everytime I quit smoking I would notice the same thing, how bad the world smelled.
