Deeper Thoughts & Inner Weirdom 2
- Thread starter Kn0ttYFive
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Ugh. I wanted a funny pic of "when suicide really is your best option...." Work today, led me to a spiral of self loathing and doubt that like, I can't even describe. I didn't do anything wrong but I believe I will be fired honestly. I can take that. I've been fired so hard before (I was young... reckless) they escorted me with security to get my things. I've never been fired yet from a job I really loved. I genuinely think I can win an EEOC claim. But is that worth it when you have found your perfect job?
IDK yet. Instead of something cool I found this, it made me CRY. I hate crying more than burning the soles of my feet with cigarettes which was my preferred method as a teen. But really, I can cry now, the hot, burning firey tears of self hate.... Etc.
Who knows from yonder what which way comes? I just feel like a lot of birds have pooped on my head.
OKAY MUST do yoga. Maybe I will chill.
IDK yet. Instead of something cool I found this, it made me CRY. I hate crying more than burning the soles of my feet with cigarettes which was my preferred method as a teen. But really, I can cry now, the hot, burning firey tears of self hate.... Etc.
Who knows from yonder what which way comes? I just feel like a lot of birds have pooped on my head.
OKAY MUST do yoga. Maybe I will chill.
I guess it was okay. It's nice he didn't like, feel all stigmatized about himself. LOL the most inspirational part was it linked me to THIS video. Which.... Sigh.
Anna
Anna
Informative and maybe useful. Thanks
I could bring it to my meeting tomorrow. It's so LONG though.
But yeah, most people don't know it. I got there with evil doc after my discover of the lies. Before then I thought he was just a hot headed, angry individual. I can deal with those.
But yeah, most people don't know it. I got there with evil doc after my discover of the lies. Before then I thought he was just a hot headed, angry individual. I can deal with those.
Damn, what kind of fan is that??? 
I'm guessing the store clerk told him "no beers for you and leave" .... But damn, he couldn't even make it out the door LOL
I'm guessing the store clerk told him "no beers for you and leave" .... But damn, he couldn't even make it out the door LOL
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LOL @Kn0ttYFive I feel just like those videos.
I am going to seriously consider punching my doc in the stomach when I next see him. He deserves it. IDK even if he has a COVERING doc this trip (he's retiring, he considers his population "stable" and it's not like he WARNED me. He just freaking handed me the longest acting benzo of all time and it's not STRONG only it has a long HALF-LIFE so not only is it STRONG once it builds up in your system it's like taper HELL.
I counted up my clonazepam and my clonidine and I have enough for a cross-withdrawal taper but like MANNNNN. I should not be doing these type of calculations on my OWN.
I am going to ask tomorrow if there is a covering doc. I didn't want to today, because all signs say cross-taper SLOWLY you just can't rid you of your valium completely unless you wanna go do it in detox, which I don't.
So I was worried she (secretary) would not refill it at all if I SAID something but I'm a bit, well, ...... off.
My meeting tomorrow may well be "look do what you want, I give up."
Course some of my problem is the anticipation. Maybe it will go SUPER fantastique. I have today to find out.
Ver grateful I know how to read scientific studies, but I still want to punch my doc and also maybe in the nuts.
Anna
I am going to seriously consider punching my doc in the stomach when I next see him. He deserves it. IDK even if he has a COVERING doc this trip (he's retiring, he considers his population "stable" and it's not like he WARNED me. He just freaking handed me the longest acting benzo of all time and it's not STRONG only it has a long HALF-LIFE so not only is it STRONG once it builds up in your system it's like taper HELL.
I counted up my clonazepam and my clonidine and I have enough for a cross-withdrawal taper but like MANNNNN. I should not be doing these type of calculations on my OWN.
I am going to ask tomorrow if there is a covering doc. I didn't want to today, because all signs say cross-taper SLOWLY you just can't rid you of your valium completely unless you wanna go do it in detox, which I don't.
So I was worried she (secretary) would not refill it at all if I SAID something but I'm a bit, well, ...... off.
My meeting tomorrow may well be "look do what you want, I give up."
Course some of my problem is the anticipation. Maybe it will go SUPER fantastique. I have today to find out.
Ver grateful I know how to read scientific studies, but I still want to punch my doc and also maybe in the nuts.
Anna
Here's the whole episode:
That must be the heaviest case of beer in creation!
He made it all the way to the counter...give him the beers
That must be the heaviest case of beer in creation!
He made it all the way to the counter...give him the beers
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Okay so I can talk coherently so far. I can ask the right questions to the secretary of the doc who is the ONE THAT DRIVES ME NUTS.
"Nicely" was a bit harder. She just kept whining and moaning. I finally said to her "LOOK. This is a NEW pharmacy for ME. I am sorry that my OLD pharmacy cannot transfer my scripts as NEEDED because they are all EXPIRED. I get your annoyance .I will tell my doc at my next visit that I am like, GONNA NEED ALL MY MEDS ON PAPER."
Seriously it was like catching fish through your hands, a bit wobbly, gross, and wet. She finally did what I asked. I got covering doc's number but based on the secretary he's pretty useless, probably.
I'm a bit wobbly. I am going to see what happens with YOGA. SOON.
My husband called to "find out about my day." I did not tell him. I feel awful. But, I CAN'T.
Mentally roasting secretary on a SPIT. Oh all my alarms are set. Just in case, you know.
Gotta go get these meds here soon ish I guess.
Anan
"Nicely" was a bit harder. She just kept whining and moaning. I finally said to her "LOOK. This is a NEW pharmacy for ME. I am sorry that my OLD pharmacy cannot transfer my scripts as NEEDED because they are all EXPIRED. I get your annoyance .I will tell my doc at my next visit that I am like, GONNA NEED ALL MY MEDS ON PAPER."
Seriously it was like catching fish through your hands, a bit wobbly, gross, and wet. She finally did what I asked. I got covering doc's number but based on the secretary he's pretty useless, probably.
I'm a bit wobbly. I am going to see what happens with YOGA. SOON.
My husband called to "find out about my day." I did not tell him. I feel awful. But, I CAN'T.
Mentally roasting secretary on a SPIT. Oh all my alarms are set. Just in case, you know.
Gotta go get these meds here soon ish I guess.
Anan
So...
if you see a handicap person/Zombie, or handicap zombie.. in the store, hit them in face with a pack of toilet paper?
Somebody needs zombie sensitivity training...
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Here's the whole episode:
That must be the heaviest case of beer in creation!
He made it all the way to the counter...give him the beers
its all the fault of the pony tail...
its all the fault of the pony tail...
He should have put the ponytail in the front, as a counter weight.
I almost feel bad for the guy, except he is hilarious to watchHe should have put the ponytail in the front, as a counter weight.
It was funny, but I have about the same problem getting up from the floor as he did. Early onset rigor mortis, or something.
I almost feel bad for the guy, except he is hilarious to watch
IKR! but I give the guy props, he was drunk AF but he had determination and landed gracefully. Even when he blacked out for a few minutes, he got right back up and kept it moving!
ummm, me thinks he may have been in blackout territory the whole time...N0t that I have any personal experience in such mattersIKR! but I give the guy props, he was drunk AF but he had determination and landed gracefully. Even when he blacked out for a few minutes, he got right back up and kept it moving!
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