So, you have seasonal allergies something awful and live on Visine. You've seen a Visine bottle right? Small, round, drop tip. You know what I'm talking about.
Let's make up a hypothetical story.
Some allergy suffering idiot is watching a movie at home while talking on the phone to his good friend. Maybe some Internet surfing is involved as well. A lot of multitasking and not much lighting, because who watches movies with the lights on? Said allergy sufferer is also into vaping and has a few 10ml e-liquids bottles sitting around. Do you see where this (completely fictional) story is going?
Let's call the allergy sufferer Zeffer because that's a stupid fake name. In this fictional story, Zeffer is concentrating on many things, but certainly not on the small Visine bottle he keeps on his end table, in the same exact spot, everyday. Zeffer gets one helluva allergy attack and reaches for the bottle while talking on the phone and watching tv in the dark.
"ahhhh" Zeffer probably thinks to himself as he takes the cap off the Visine bottle. "This is going to feel so good when I drop these suckers into my itchy, burning eyeballs." So Zeffer squeezes the bottle into his right eye.
SQUIRT
"That's awfully strange." Zeffer says to himself "those little Visine drops came out fast. Whoa, jeez, and they burn a lot more than usual."
1 second passes
"OH JESUS GOD IN HEAVEN HOLY HELL MY EYE IS ON FIRE AND SWOLLEN SHUT PLEASE KILL ME!!!!" is something Zeffer might have screamed in terror upon realizing he can't see because he just dosed his eyehole with 18mg e-liquid. That really sounds like something he would say (in this completely fabricated) story.
Temporarily blind, writhing in unspeakable pain and born incomprehensibly stupid, Zeffer is now thinking two things 1) What's the number for 911? and 2) God I hope this doesn't make the evening news.
After 30 minutes of flushing his eye, Zeffer is probably very uncomfortable, very scared and still very stupid.
After an hour, Zeffer probably has a blood shot eye but has regained total vision and avoided a trip to the ER as well as the evening news. Unfortunately, this poor, poor, ridiculously stupid (fictional) character may never regain his pride.
What have we learned from Zeffer?
Only that he is unfathomably feeble minded, and Darwin was right.
Let's make up a hypothetical story.
Some allergy suffering idiot is watching a movie at home while talking on the phone to his good friend. Maybe some Internet surfing is involved as well. A lot of multitasking and not much lighting, because who watches movies with the lights on? Said allergy sufferer is also into vaping and has a few 10ml e-liquids bottles sitting around. Do you see where this (completely fictional) story is going?
Let's call the allergy sufferer Zeffer because that's a stupid fake name. In this fictional story, Zeffer is concentrating on many things, but certainly not on the small Visine bottle he keeps on his end table, in the same exact spot, everyday. Zeffer gets one helluva allergy attack and reaches for the bottle while talking on the phone and watching tv in the dark.
"ahhhh" Zeffer probably thinks to himself as he takes the cap off the Visine bottle. "This is going to feel so good when I drop these suckers into my itchy, burning eyeballs." So Zeffer squeezes the bottle into his right eye.
SQUIRT
"That's awfully strange." Zeffer says to himself "those little Visine drops came out fast. Whoa, jeez, and they burn a lot more than usual."
1 second passes
"OH JESUS GOD IN HEAVEN HOLY HELL MY EYE IS ON FIRE AND SWOLLEN SHUT PLEASE KILL ME!!!!" is something Zeffer might have screamed in terror upon realizing he can't see because he just dosed his eyehole with 18mg e-liquid. That really sounds like something he would say (in this completely fabricated) story.
Temporarily blind, writhing in unspeakable pain and born incomprehensibly stupid, Zeffer is now thinking two things 1) What's the number for 911? and 2) God I hope this doesn't make the evening news.
After 30 minutes of flushing his eye, Zeffer is probably very uncomfortable, very scared and still very stupid.
After an hour, Zeffer probably has a blood shot eye but has regained total vision and avoided a trip to the ER as well as the evening news. Unfortunately, this poor, poor, ridiculously stupid (fictional) character may never regain his pride.
What have we learned from Zeffer?
Only that he is unfathomably feeble minded, and Darwin was right.
Last edited:
