[Cut to the clinic. House enters to find a boy standing in the room.]
House: How you doing?
Patient: Okay.
House: Great. Im doing good, too. I get to knock off an hour early today. You know why? Cause I kissed my boss ..., you ever do that? I think she just said yes cause she wants to reinforce that behavior. Wants me to kiss a lot of other peoples ..., like she wants me to kiss yours. What would you want, a doctor who holds your hand while you die, or a doctor who ignores you while you get better? I guess it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.
Patient: I should go.
House: You think its going to come out on its own? Are we talking bigger than a breadbasket? Cause actually, it will come out on its own. Which for small stuff is no problem. Gets wrapped up in a nice soft package and plop! Big stuff, youre going to rip something which, speaking medically, is when the fun stops.
Patient: How did you
House: Youve been here half an hour and havent sat down, that tells me its location. You havent told me what it is, that tells me its humiliating. You have a little birdie carved on your arm. That tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation. So I figure its not hemorrhoids. [pause] Ive been a doctor 20 years. Youre not going to surprise me.
Patient: Its an MP3 player.
House: [long pause] Mmm. Is it
is it because of the size, or the shape? Or is it the pounding bass line?
