Feeling Out of Control and Lost and Need Some Help

[AshMPWrites]

I quit smoking almost a month ago (the 21st of August) and have solely vaping since then. As a matter of fact, I switched to vaping without an pomp or circumstance, I simply went into a B&M without a pack and never looked back. It was easy-ish at first -- I had cravings, learned how to control them and I've been good. I've upgraded my starter set up as rewards for making it a week, two weeks, three weeks; moved from a nautilus to a Russian 91 with a Science of vaping nano kit, switched from a Smoktech Zmax Mini to a ZNA20, and I'm absolutely getting a better flavor, better vape quality, all of the stuff that goes with an upgrade.

But ...

For the last three days I've been battling myself full force. I've been feeling all the frustration and taking little joy away from the experience. I've thought about going to buy cigarettes, oh, only about a hundred times -- but as now I've yet to do it. Before I revert to my old ways, I thought I'd post here and seek some help -- maybe I'm missing something that you all can help with.

1. I hate the complicated nature of vaping (which I completely own since it's complicated by design and my own doing). It's true that I'm not running to the store every day or every other day for smokes, but it's been a trade for having to constantly worry that I have enough stuff to get me through. Do I have an extra tank? Do I have a screw driver? How about a fully charged secondary battery? How about a new coil for my Nautilus? Oh, my wick (on the RBA) tastes burnt! Oh, the tanks is stuck on the adapter! Let's take ten minutes before I walk out the door to be sure I have my stuff in order...

2. The ZNA itself is awesome, but it's CONSTANTLY chewing up my fingers from the sharp threads.

3. I find myself becoming annoyed easily... at others. I'm usually a very easy going, laid back sort of person, but that's changed. I get agitated easily and I hate that, but it's like I can't temper the feelings of "leave me alone." It's like I'm feeling everything times 10.

4. I started vaping on 12nic, and I'm still vaping on 12nic... but the satisfaction isn't there. I'm not calming down, even when I double my vaping time. This is new.

I know that I have enough comments to be posting elsewhere, but this feels like a noob sort of question... Thanks in advance for any suggestions!

 

[a wandering soul]

im sorry you are having a tough time with things. its bound to happen from time to time. have you had any changes in life that would increase your stress?

or is this only due to equipment issues?

im told most people get over a lot of the complexity with a reo. fill up a bottle of juice and with the right battery you are good to go for a day. im not saying go spend more money, but it sounds like as you have gotten higher tech with your rewards you have made things harder on yourself. sometimes simpler is better. hence my recommendation for a reo.

with your current setup, you certainly could try higher nic or at higher watts/volts. have you tried lower ohms (sub ohms)? for me thats where i really began to be super satisfied was low ohms and dripping. but everyone is different...

 

[M3CH M0D M4DN355]

Hi AshMPWrites, well done for taking the first steps to kick the habit.

About a month into quitting the smokes is a prime time to have these feelings of frustration and agitation, I think a lot of ex smokers vapers or not will know what you mean. Its your body saying "hey, where is my chemical fix I want my chemical fix dammit!!" and by chemicals I don't just mean nicotine, your body wants the thousands of other nasty chemicals that are contained in cigarettes, that why sometimes vaping wont satisfy. You only real choice is to preserver, soldier on and get through it.

As for your frustrations with vaping gear, try and get into a routine with it. Put your batteries on charge and clean, maintain your tanks at set times an so on. You need to get used to what you need and how you need to use it if you know what I mean? I found that if I ever had a craving when I first started vaping that tinkering with my mods and atties occupied the mind and helped through it.

I wish you all the best and hope you can stay smoke free!

 

[realsis]

Hi.you might consider increasing your nicotine if your getting cravings. I was able to fairly comfortably quit with a 24 mg nicotine juice. Now I know everyone is different and I'm NOT saying to bump it up to 24mg nicotine, however 18 mg nicotine might help with how you are feeling now. You can always step it down later. But to get over the hump you might increase to 18. With adaquate nicotine you won't have the irritation and the cravings won't be as intense. I've been off smoking for almost 6 months now and cravings WILL come but should pass when you vape. If thats not happening I'm guessing your nicotine is a little low for what you need right now. My tip is please don't give in and smoke!! Increase to 18mg nicotine and see how your feeling then. When cravings come vape and they should soon pass. Also where ever you smoked, vape instead. Driving, out with friends, ect. Just don't give in. I have a feeling you will be A LOT more comfortable on 18mg. Nicotine. I really hope this is helpful and I'm here if you ever need to talk!! Just pm. Me. I wish you the best and don't give in. You CAN do this!! Try my advice and see how it works out. Best wishes

 

[eratikmind]

Sorry to read about your frustrations, Ash.

One mental battle at a time, my fellow vaper.

In the meantime, ponder the good, which you are affording yourself and those around you.

I trust that you soon encounter a smoother and calmer vaping journey.

 

[Papa_Lazarou]

Feel for you, OP.

A few things come to mind....

Yup - it's more complicated than smoking, likely always will be. Maybe if you thought of it like your smart phone (assuming you have one) - needs regular charging, updates, lure of shiny newness (iPhone 6, anyone?), etc. I leave for work in the morning with a mental checklist that includes many things (e.g., car key, phone, security pass, and so on) and my vape gear is just one more thing, just like my smart phone.

Now, while leaving any of these other things behind wouldn't fill a person with dread, having your vape unavailable for any reason is a different thing - a kind of panic/need/dependance that none of the other things have (some would disagree about the phone, so there's that). Chock that up to the cigarettes. It's a learned behaviour from smoking.

The trick is you need to let vaping become something different from smoking - something that's second nature and better (not just a replacement). Once you're there, the "hassle" won't be a hassle, just daily routine (you shower regularly, yes? brush your teeth? get dressed?).

As for your lack of satisfaction, I'd suggest bumping up the nic level, if only to try and see if it satisfies you more. Irritation is a classic symptom of adjusting to life after smoking - the extra nic can help. It's also affecting how you feel about the other issues you mention - devices that chew up your fingers, for example, becoming one of four reasons to be frustrated with vaping has got to be a general irritation expressed through a specific local irritation. Fix the nic titration, fix a lot of your frustration in general.

If it strikes you as a potential analgesic, I, too, recommend the reo - simple to build for, dripping quality without the dripping, durable, reliable, predictable, easy to operate. It's the end state for many of us who've travelled a road similar to yours.

Check out the subforum, listen to what people are saying about the scene, ask questions. It think it would be better if you ran to something, not from something, and the reo might help you with that.

Reos Mods

 

[OldGoose52]

Ash
I am almost exactly where you are right now. My 4 weeks was Monday. I have had those cravings as well. You have to simply battle thru. You are in a fight for your life, literally. I have tried just about everything to quit smoking. I finally pinned my hopes on e cigs. With me it is the mechanics of smoking. The times of the day that I smoked and the comfort I derived from it. I went from standard e cigs to a PV in about two weeks. One of the draws of the e cigs was the semi complicated nature of it. I think it will make it easier to put down when the time comes. The second draw is to see "smoke" coming out of my mouth when I exhale and getting some kind of tobacco like taste from it. I am down to a six mcg now from a twelve mcg the first two weeks. If you need a little boost go buy some six or twelve mcg patches. I had about half a box of them when I got my starter kit. I would not advise going over a twenty four total. I don't know the specs of the components I bought but it has a 3.0 ml tank and the battery lasts a day and a half.
I don't get the pop I was looking for but that is the point of quitting. If you are looking for the same feeling you get from cigarettes you are on the wrong road.
The feeling you should be looking for is the fact that you are WINNING the fight.
Do you feel better? Yes.
Do you stink like an ashtray? No.
Do you still have something in your hands to occupy them and still satisfy the mechanics of smoking? Yes.
Are you proud of the progress you have made? Yes
Will this be THE time that you finally Quit Smoking? YES YES YES
We are here for you. With the diverse locale of this site there are people here 24-7.
YOU CAN DO IT!

Good Luck my friend, the hard part is over. You just have to convince yourself that it is.

Goose

 

[Roscoe01]

Everyone is different but I went thru some of what u are describing the first month I was vaping. I hate to admit it but I kept a pack of stinkies In my pocket as a security blanket. One day I pulled them out of my pocket and threw them in the trash cause I knew I didn't need em anymore. Now my vape box is my security blanket. I carry an extra one or two of everything in there.

 

[daleron]

There is also a lot of self medicating going on when we smoke cigarettes,
you could in fact be suffering from anxiety.

Have you considered visiting your doctor on that score? I had to

 

[Bernard Marx]

If you don't mind menthol it gives a real cig like kick I find.

 

[AngiBe]

I agree with what others have said. Quitting smokes can put you in a minor depression. Your body craves all the 4,000+ chemicals, not just the nicotine. Also I too would recommend to up the nic mornings/during the day to 18 mg then use the 12 mg in the evenings.Possibly you're not getting enough nic and it's making you a bit agitated.

If you do decide to maybe look at a new set up with less fiddling, the REO is awesome and building an RM2 coil is not hard at all. But, it does require buying more items to get it going. Good luck to you and hang in there!

 

[Rat2chat2]

I have always demanded the highest quality with the least amount of effort so I won't use anything other than a reo. I have never experienced what you are going through but I have read many, many others that have and most of the time it was due to stress and too low a nic to satisfy them fully. I am so sorry you are going through this but I just know if you hang in there a bit longer (and keep on posting on ecf and getting hugs and support) you will be just fine. I look forward to reading about your success.

 

[jaba62]

I feel your pain, went through the exact same thing. I started vaping the higher nic content. I always looked for a place to just sit and enjoy the vape without interruptions. i know that is always not possible. But please, please stick it out. turning back to cigs will only start you up again.I kept using my evod because it is basically easy and portable, took my kit with coils, juice and 2 batteries. I put all of this in a nintendo case, it fit perfectly,took it to work, left it in my car or locker. i could always sneak in a few hits at times. it helped me alot to stay off coffin nails. Hope all works out for you!

 

[AshMPWrites]

Thank you everyone who took the time to reply ... I wish I could answer all of you individually, but I'll go for the "one fell swoop" method.

Oddly enough, venting it out made me feel better. I still feel pretty "whatever" about everything right now, but I at least I know I'm not full-on crazy. I'm sure I'm detoxing on some level -- my sleep schedule is for the birds right now, my head is like a catch-all drawer, I'm wading through the afterglow of an addiction to not just nicotine, but everything else I pushed in my body for years upon years. If quitting was easy, everyone would do it, right?

As far as my set up goes ... I am really trying not to have to go out and buy more. Really, really trying. I haven't dared to add up how much I've spent, but it's enough that I'm not going to be spending more right now. Or for a while. I am waiting patiently for the "savings" to kick in...

I may up my nic level. I just ordered a 120ml bottle of BOV, but I might go get the 18 level just to buffer some of the feelings.

As for anxiety? It's an interesting thought, one I will look into...

Thank you everyone. I really mean it.

 

[DaveOno]

I think you should cut it down a bit, at least for like half a day. Not the nic level, but the amount you vape. Put it down. Go 4 or 5 hours without it.

Then vape and get the nicotine relief. It might not be the nic you crave, but the sensation of the end of a nic fit. Sorta like the joke of the guy banging his head against the wall, cause it feels so good when he stops.

But really, let it go a bit.

And your feelings are normal. And you are smarter now for recognizing these feelings and NOT running out for a "fix." (which you know will lead you astray).

 

[jaba62]

Also what worked for me was taking a long, slow draw and holding the vape in my mouth a few seconds before exhaling through my nose. Seemed to bring the flavor through and seemed more enjoyable, especially with a favorite juice. I had to think differently than smoking a cigarette, the first week I tried to vape like smoking, big mistake, smoking was never as relaxing to me as vaping is, strange....

 

[jwbnyc]

Slow your roll.

Simplify your hardware.

Up your nic.

 

[AndriaD]

You might consider WTA -- Whole Tobacco Alkaloids. When I was 1 1/2 wks into my 2nd quit, this summer, I started having just awful cravings, and I already had bought some WTA to get me thru the 3-wk depression phase... so I just started the WTa a bit early... and it completely removed all cravings (and the day I hit 3 wks, instead of depressed, I was dancing in the kitchen while cooking dinner!).

WTA is really a miracle for those of us who aren't so very dependent on nicotine (I vape at no more than about the 10mg level or it makes me very ill), but still crave the other alkaloids desperately. You can find it at aromaejuice.com or wholecig.com.

Andria

 

[teriyakitrappin]

Hi, I'm three months off the coffin nails. Do what it takes to make it another month vaping. Around 1 month I had a mini relapse and bought a pack. I smoked two cigarettes out of it and was thoroughly disgusted(enough to give the $7 pack away) though it did give me the fix I was craving. I was using 12, upped to 18 to feed my cravings, and have since cycled down to 15. By the time you've made two whole months neither the taste nor buzz from an analog will do it for you, or at least that was my experience. As much as I loathe to suggest it, buy a few GOOD disposables (lasts longer than 2 hours) as an emergency fallback for when your tanks/RDA's/batts are failing you. Keep one at home/work, one in your car and you'll be covered until you get something working. Eventually, once you accumulate enough vape gear you'll be fine. It's good to have one mod, one ego, and at least two tanks with a 5 pack of coils for each. I have a nautilus with svd, an aerotank with a spinner 1200 and a spare iclear 30s and I am never high and dry.

 

[issy]

Sending positive thoughts to you, OP. There is a lot of wonderful advice here in this thread, and it really shows the true nature of all of us fighting the fights together. I hope things in your life begin to smooth out, and I'm glad that your vent made you feel better. I understand the battles of depression and anxiety, and how much they can rock the boat of life when quitting ciggies. It just plain sucks sometimes, but you have to push through and fight for your life...literally. Keep hangin on, you've made it this far!