For those left behind.

[dijohn76]

How did you feel about Moms' house? My Mom just passed away Jan 5th, she left her house and Motel to me. I lived "next door" and tried to run the motel from there (not a good solution) so just started moving into Mom's house and feel really weird, like I am invading her privacy. I grew up in that house but, still feel like it is not mine.

 

[Mary Kay]

My Mom's house is very nice, It needs work on the plumbing (old copper pipes) and an updated AC (there is a new outsize airhandler outside, but the inside is the same thing that was put in place in the 70's.)and Hotwater heater. Right now the hot water heater is in the kitchen under a counter! My friend who is a plumber couldn't believe a trailer size water heater has served that house for over 50 years.
She kept up with the painting..in and out, the roof and yard. It's cinderblock so there is no rotting issue. My biggest issue is that there is only one bathroom and 5 foot closets! I would need to add a half bath and turn the smallest bedroom into a walkin closet.

As for how I feel..weird. I moved most of Mom's living room and bedroom furniture up here for her to use and feel at home. The house no longer looks like mom's inside..but it's still awkward for me. I have a hard time thinking of the house as mine. I lived in that house for my childhood until I married at 18.
The only really great thing is that all my old friends, who have been my friends since childhood..know just where Mom's is. I would be a few blocks away from my best friend and the kids would be close.

I just don't know how I feel.

 

[leannebug]

I have found that when a person dies that it is far from over for those of us left behind.
<snip for space>What do people do when it's a spouse or a child and they just can't cope! This should be so hard on those left behind!To say I am frustrated is putting it mildly. This whole thing is a nightmare of paperwork and head banging.
This shouldn't be so hard!

Wow, I had no idea it was that difficutl.

I see it's been several monthss. I didn't read the whole trhraeead but I hopte you got it smoothed out (at least partly) I know that when my uncle died, my cousing dealt with the estate and (her siblings) for a long time.

anyohhoo.. thanks for sharing. makes me realize I should get my own affaiirs in order, as beest I can, so my kisds don't have to deal with it.

not planning on going anwywehere, but ya know. ya never know!

 

[Mary Kay]

Welcome LeAnne! You know what? It's Still not over! IRS sent us a letter saying we didn't complete everything and need to refile all those papers. back to the accountants to find out what went wrong. They said all the papers were mailed but maybe they forgot to tell me to sign some of them!
It has now been refiled. 7 Months later and still working on Mom's stuff!

It does look like we will be moving as soon as we can. The housing market is really bad so I doubt we will get anything for our home of 18 years. The only saving grace is we have 2 and 1/2 arces in an area that may soon let us sell half of our property separate from the house. We may not do that but the new people would be able to sell.

Mom did have her will..she just didn't tell anyone where the original was! I am not sure she understood that her copy wasn't the one we needed. But by the time it was needed, her mind was too far gone to recall anyway.

My mom in her younger days was an excecutive secretary, organized was her thing. All her papers had notes to me on the front to let me know what they were.

What I am doing for my kids is to have one file with everthing in it..it is in a steel lock box. All the things like wills and deeds have cover letters. Mike wants to put everything in the bank with permissions for the kids who are our executors.

 

[AngeLsLuv]

Then it ends up that after you arrange everything for those left behind, there are still things left that they need to do and so much paperwork you get writer's cramp...

At this point in my life, I just hope my family all dies at the same time so no one has to do anything *LOL*

 

[AngeLsLuv]

Wow, I had no idea it was that difficutl.

I see it's been several monthss. I didn't read the whole trhraeead but I hopte you got it smoothed out (at least partly) I know that when my uncle died, my cousing dealt with the estate and (her siblings) for a long time.

anyohhoo.. thanks for sharing. makes me realize I should get my own affaiirs in order, as beest I can, so my kisds don't have to deal with it.

not planning on going anwywehere, but ya know. ya never know!

Welcome to the group Leanne!!! Glad you are here ;-)