This contest is officially over, due to the thread hitting 300 posts. All jokes entered after this point (post 340) will not be included. The winner will be picked on Friday October, 29. Check back to see who wins!
I was just going to say, I would hate to have to pick the winner out of all those jokes. Take me till christmas to chose.Three hundred plus jokes are a lot to go through... he's probably still reading them.
A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
Every word out of the bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled
back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more
rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him
in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and
said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions.
I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.
As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in
his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very softly, "May I ask what the turkey
did?"
I don't think the winner has been announced yet but whoever it is, congratulations!
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Paise - The winner was announced last night. Read Post #349.
Circumspice:
Thanks for letting me know. I truly appreciate it.
By now, you'd think I would know better than to attempt to work on a computer even if it's for a short time when still under the influence of operative medication that didn't clear my system as quick as it normally does but then again, I had to take post-op medication so I wouldn't get caught in that space where the operative drugs stop working and the post-op hasn't begun.
I had surgery Friday afternoon. It was late before I could go home. Even now I can't be left alone without someone with me because I'm still not steady on my feet and I'm experiencing some vertigo but I had a slight case of vertigo before I went under, which took what felt like forever; however, it seems that with each surgery I undergo, it takes more than the usual amount of operative meds to put me out than a normal person. It's probably because I'm on the Fentanyl patch that covers the pain for lupus (SLE), Sjogren's, and all the painful symptoms that come with it.
I just didn't want to miss the congrats to the winner before I fell asleep again.
Thanks to everyone who entered, not everyone can win so sorry if you didn't. I appreciate everyone's entries and there were a lot of jokes that literally made me laugh out loud! But, there were so many jokes and we tried to pick one that wasn't too offensive. It was such a tough choice and in the end we could only go with one winner.
The winner of the Indulgence Starter Kit is The Rebel. What a great joke, clever, cute, and not offensive. Well done and congratulations!
Rebel, please PM me for claiming your prize.
To everyone else, please enjoy FREE SHIPPING for the rest of the weekend at Mister-E-Liquid.com Minimum order of $5.