Hatred, bigotry and lies

[Kate]

Why is it that the most dodgy characters with the biggest personality flaws are the ones to think they have the right to generalise and judge other people?

By being told certain groups are stupid, unnatural, liars, arrogant, superior ... blah ... I'm getting a bit of a headache with this forum recently.

I had to check the registration rules today to see what was agreed to be unacceptable; they say:

"By agreeing to these rules, you warrant that you will not post any messages that are obscene, vulgar, sexually-oriented, hateful, threatening, or otherwise violative of any laws."

EDIT

Pardon me for venting here but this is kind of a safe corner with people who know what oppression means.

 

[nicowolf]

Wow, Kate. I thought I was the only one.

I thought it was just that I have been spending my time defending the forum against one bigot in particular. I have definitely noticed more of people hedging that line between acceptable and unacceptable.

I don't fault SJ or the mods, though. They seem to count on us to police ourselves rather than their being heavy handed with their powers of control. I enjoy that extra little bit of freedom and think that is a big part of why I feel comfortable on this forum.

It seems like the new forum membership has grown so quickly that we just can't keep up with calling people out on this behaviour. I am glad to see that I am not just being ultrasensitive.

 

[Catman51]

Wow, only read the last page of that thread and didn't want to read anymore. What an a*hole bigot! Really don't need anyone like that in my life.

 

[nicowolf]

Catman, could you PM me with the thread you are referring to?

 

[TxTrouble]

Never Mind..

 

[Ripley]

Kate, don't let this narrow-minded jerk get to you. I grew up in Mississippi and spent a good part of my younger days in the back of the closet fearful of .....$$es like this.

Now, I'm just glad I live in a big city and am gloriously anonymous. It's only those remnants of fear that make me hesitate when Tx grabs my hand in WallyWorld.

 

[nicowolf]

I am livid. I have been down this road before though. Stupid is as stupid posts. I am not going to waste my time arguing with that juniortrog (I have better things to be doing with my fingers).

 

[DCrist721]

And why is it that these members haven't been banned yet? I bet you if they were being racist they would have been banned in a second, but no one cares about sexual-discrimination.

I hope these people have gay kids.

 

[nicowolf]

Please don't with that on another generation of gay kids.

I wonder if that isn't another troll from the troll's forum. He has stepped in to defend the bigoted a** a few times now.

 

[DCrist721]

Please don't with that on another generation of gay kids.

I wonder if that isn't another troll from the troll's forum. He has stepped in to defend the bigoted a** a few times now.

I don't understand your first comment, what did you mean by that (I assume you meant "wish" not "with")? By being born to straight homophobic parents, they will change the way their parents view gays because they love their child. Therefore it will slowly help fight homophobia and discrimination.

Are you talking about me with the second comment? If so, who did I step in to defend?

 

[nicowolf]

I did mean wish -typo, apologies.

I meant it was hard for me growing up with a homophobic father and an uber-religious mother. I wouldn't wish another gay child to ever go through that again.

With my second comment, I was referring to the jerk in that other thread who said we shouldn't adopt kids. He stepped in to defend another bigoted jerk who has been voraciously spewing anger and hatred all over the forum. Take a look at the guy's signature line and the website it refers to. I am trying not to use the name.

 

[DCrist721]

I did mean wish -typo, apologies.

I meant it was hard for me growing up with a homophobic father and an uber-religious mother. I wouldn't wish another gay child to ever go through that again.

With my second comment, I was referring to the jerk in that other thread who said we shouldn't adopt kids. He stepped in to defend another bigoted jerk who has been voraciously spewing anger and hatred all over the forum. Take a look at the guy's signature line and the website it refers to. I am trying not to use the name.

Does your father know that you're gay? If so, when did you tell him? I never told either of my parents just because I feel like they would treat me differently, however, if I did I thin my father (who is homophobic) would become more accepting of gays if he knew his son was and I answered his concerns.

 

[nicowolf]

I told my mother when I was 18 - they had been divorced for 6 yrs. She told my father, despite my request not to. She says he told her that was just my plea for her attention, it was just a phase I would grow out of - all the stereotypical bull crap.

I was one of the lucky ones that wasn't disowned. I have heard much worse coming out horror stories from my friends. My father is now dead. My mother is homoeuphoric. I think it is her strange way of dealing with it, like the Mom version of my being very militantly out and proud for a few years before settling in and just being a person instead of an icon. I think she has to show herself it is ok.

 

[frogbmth]

I was going to post a long reply about biology, DNA, physcology and learned v instinctive behaviour. Then I realised that they probably wouldnt understand a word of it.

What I find ironic is that they go on about what is natural and yet their hate views are entirely learned behaviours and the least natural thing about them.

I would love to do an IQ test on them, bet they are all under 100

 

[Kate]

Thanks for not being specific about what set me off yesterday guys, I really don't like talking about individuals behind their backs.

Thanks also for the support here, I knew you'd understand what was getting me frustrated. Mostly, ignorance and such doesn't bother me, I think I'm pretty thick skinned but there's been so much China bashing, sexism, and whatever else that a bit of gay bashing just got me going.

I think you're right about long replies Froggy, you'd just be wasting your time as far as the bigots are concerned. The many nice, even handed people don't need it either.

Overall I do think this forum is great, we have a very diverse range of people and most show respect. I just worry sometimes how easy it would be for the prejudices to bubble up and become an acceptable part of our culture here.

Sorry for venting on you guys and thanks for understanding

 

[nicowolf]

If it helps any, Kate, I was doing the live version of venting here in my living room with my roomy and my wife. I was reading on post out loud to them, then going on a rant until I could compose myself enough to respond to these people in a calm way. Homophobia is a glaring hot button issue for me - not that other forms of small minded bigotry don't bother me, they just don't affect me as deeply and as quickly.

 

[Kate]

Lol, well I didn't want to vent in real life because my cats don't deserve it

Your responses are generally well considered and perceptive Nico. I don't have the patience to spend so much energy on people who declare themselves god, they think they are above any ideas I might put forward anyway. When I respond to things I think are wrong it's usually because I don't want the people I care about getting the wrong idea.

 

[frogbmth]

Nice comments from Joe

 

[Kate]

Joe is pretty sound.

There was some technical trouble with the forum not long ago and talk about shifting ownership to someone else. I was thinking that it's unlikely someone else could easily facilitate such a good community spirit.

 

[DCrist721]

I was going to post a long reply about biology, DNA, physcology and learned v instinctive behaviour. Then I realised that they probably wouldnt understand a word of it.

What I find ironic is that they go on about what is natural and yet their hate views are entirely learned behaviours and the least natural thing about them.

I would love to do an IQ test on them, bet they are all under 100

You're right, they wouldn't understand; that's if they even bothered to read such a long post. There was a guy in my Chem class in high school, and one day the teacher asked why he had skipped a couple of questions, and he replied "oh, the questions were too long so I didn't want to read them."

From what I've found, people who are bisexual or gay tend to have higher IQs (or at least seem to) and are more open-minded in general then straights. Not to say that there aren't very intelligent straight people, because there are, but I think people who have stronger logic capabilities and have a greater understanding of the world, history, society, psychology, etc, are more likely to admit to themselves and others that they are attracted to both sex's or the same sex. I got a 2000 on the SATs (1310 on the old scale) and the 4 other openly bisexual people in my graduating class all got similar or higher scores. Of coarse, it's possible that this is just a coincidence, but the more I live and the more I see, the less I believe in "pure coincidence."

Maybe that's why divorce rates are so high, because their are a lot of people who can't comprehend/accept anything other then heterosexuality so they refuse to admit to themsevles if they are not hetero.