How to Have Happy Holidays!

[Mary Kay]

Ideas for keeping the Holidays sane and under control. Please post them here.
In the past my Mom was the Holiday grinch, a trip to her house meant being sent back to age 10. It wasn't always a pleasant situation. My sister on the other hand, loved the removal of all responsibilty.
I finally decided it would be better for me and my sanity to take over Christmas and just invite Mom to my home. I thought she would love being the "dowager Queen"...wrong. It was even worse! The complaints and the 'advice" was killer.
I hung in and she finally quit..mostly.
The point of this ramble was that in order to make a good Christmas for everyone, you need to address the issues and take charge. In another part of the forum we were taking about triggers that make you want to smoke or vape..like eatting, drinking ect. What are the triggers that make Holidays with family miisrable?
Any ideas or comments?

 

[Ariel]

Ideas for keeping the Holidays sane and under control
...
Any ideas or comments?

I haven't seen my blood family in years (I'm fine with that!).. but if I need to visit people over the holidays that trigger me in one way or another..

My #1 strategy is not letting them come to my place, but instead going to theirs.

That way it's much easier to remove myself totally from the situation should it get out of hand.

Screaming children are a trigger. So is any noisy environment; the noise distracts me from the conversations etc. I very much dislike going to a friend's house and competing with a television. Lots of pointless complaining will drive me nuts too. On the other hand, if there's a genuine need to complain, my sympathetic ears are wide open.

I'm kinda weird like that - I like to visit people for quality conversation and socializing, not to zone out with them, or commiserate about things that have already been endlessly chewed over.

 

[Mary Kay]

You have a plan then! To tell the truth the TV thing makes me mad too..I mean I could watch TV at home! I don't have a TV in the living room..so when company comes over the adults can talk and maybe listen to some low background music. The kids have the family room for movies or games.

I adore kids..but I am afraid I suscribe to the seeing but not hearing thing too! At least when it's adult time. Around the table or in the kitchen, the noisier the better!

It's not the childrens fault it's the permissive parents. I used to threaten to spank my daughter..not her kids, when they misbehaved. Oddly enough when they are out with me, they are angels..grandma don't play that, as my G'son used to say!

The 16 year old grandson got a thumbs up from a group of bikers when he unlocked and opened my door for me when we were leaving the store!

This year will be nice, they won't get here until Christmas afternoon, they will see the other grands first. Then I will have the boys all week. can't wait! The boys will have their Christmas gifts to play with and the hype will be done..we can just watch movies and eat ham leftovers.

 

[Ariel]

You have a plan then!

I am behind! (Life getting in the way of keeping the way I want.. )

Yep, I keep that plan with as many holidays as I can.

The last set of holidays followed it, for the most part. Thanksgiving was spent with another child-free couple, and was nice and quiet.

Christmas we went over to a "kids-running-wild" zone, and kept the visit to a minimum. I didn't want to know if vaping inside would be acceptable, because that way I could step outside for vaping breaks and quiet time.

And New Year's Eve was another "kids-running-wild" zone, but there were things going there to make it more fun. (I can't believe what some of those 'tween girls were wearing... I'll avoid any stories about "when *I* was a kid".)

So, overall not too bad.

 

[Mary Kay]

Glad to hear that your Holidays were managable. So many people have to play out the "drama" year after year. The handsy BIL, the drunk uncle , The mother acting like she owns the world and the dad and his disaproval of everything. I lucked out that i didn't have any but the mom who ran everything. Now I am the 'grand dame", but at least I understand the dynamics and forgo the drama. A spilled dish isn't a big deal or burnt bisquits (blackened in my house) is just the norm and no cause for a family wide meltdown.
Anyone getting too fussy is sent in the bedroom for a nap before dinner. (adults included). The one thing I do that seems to make the biggest difference is to have everyone make something for dinner. My grandson (16) was in charge of the turkey at Thanksgiving..he was thrilled and took his duties to heart, never has a turkey been soooo attended!
The younger grandson (10) was in charge of the pies..just rewarmed and topped. But he wouldn't rest until we all had a slice!
Christmas was relaxed and fun. new Years was cold and loud! Lots of supermarket fireworks and hot cocoa.
I am looking forward to being a guest in my kids homes..I will just sit back and be the taste tester with a glass of wine and a smile.