I'm just speechless.
And you even have FAMILY up there! I'm so sorry!
That's pretty crazy, right? If I were willing to go to the embassy again, it might take weeks, but I could obtain a waiver. It's actually my ex-wife's family up there. It would be nice to pay them a visit sometime, but they were in laws. I have been in Canada at least 50 times, and have some good friends in Montreal and Toronto.
The lesson here is if they interview you, just lie. They have no way to check on stuff like this. Now if you are a convicted felon, that info they might have, but not for something like an old DWI. Just lie. I am often too honest for my own good.